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  • Dear Democratic Party,

    Karma's a bitch, ain't it? A few months ago we were all giggling about how the Republicans couldn't decide on a frontrunner, would never choose a nominee in time to get their general election groove on, and how they were tearing their own party apart. Look, I'm up there with the best of them when we start telling Republican jokes. I OWN the "No Republicans Allowed" panties. But can we get this over with, please? Howard Dean? Where are you on this one? Nancy Pelosi? Let's get a move on! We HAVE a nominee, quit playing charades!

    -Young Democrat



    Dear World,

    Today is blogging against disabilism day. Please take a minute to read one of the blogs on this list: http://blobolobolob.blogspot.com/

    Discrimination against those with disabilities is a huge problem in the world today, even in otherwise inclusive areas. Just last week I read about a mother who hung herself and killed her severely disabled son. Earlier this year, a young man with disabilities was beaten to death by teenage thugs who later referred to him as a "muppet" and expressed no remorse for joking and laughing as they beat him to death. The young man who was murdered spent his last moments telling his attackers he was their friend. Don't enable a disabilist- speak out whenever and wherever you see or hear discrimination.

    -Sayds


    Dear Algernon,

    Another abscess? Really? The vet visits are eating my paycheck, and I feel awful having to cause you pain to make you better! No more!

    -Rat Mom



    Dear Colorado,

    IT'S MAY! QUIT FREAKING SNOWING!

    -Cold and Wet


    Dear Roommate,

    Pay April's rent already. Jesus. You got a dollar raise this month and you are STILL always broke. You only pay 1/3 of the rent, and I pay 2/3. You better be planning to do some serious house cleaning and yard work to make up for this tardiness!

    -Other Roommate
    My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

    Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

    Comment


    • Dear Boyfriend,

      I know you're going through a rough time right now but you do have to fly out to Iowa and you do have to attend the funeral. I know you suddenly don't want to but the tickets were purchased and your family has already picked you up.
      Please remember that I love you and I'll have a nice clean house and a hot meal ready for you when you return on Monday.
      I miss you too and I know you said you didn't want him but are you sure you don't want to take my teddy bear with you?

      Love you,
      -Me


      Dear Continental Airplanes,
      Please don't crash and please don't get rerouted to some other airport in the middle of Nowhere Iowa. He's going to Middle of Nowhere West Iowa and I don't need him going to Middle of Nowhere East Iowa.
      -EQ
      Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

      Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

      Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

      Comment


      • Dear self,

        I know I went to see Iron Man at 1115(pm) and didn't get home and into bed till 2, when I work at 7. That and the conversation I had after the movie were completely worth it. That being said, I promise to mainline caffene today and get decent sleep this weekend if you please just promise to stay awake.

        Still psyched about the movie,
        Me
        "Man, having a conversation with you is like walking through a salvador dali painting." - Mac Hall

        Comment


        • Dear Vehicles of all Kinds,

          Please let us know next time you guys plan on breaking down and costing us hundreds or thousands of dollars.

          Blas
          You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

          Comment


          • Dear Idiot on the Front Porch,

            You do know, don't you, that it's three-*&$%ing-eighteen in the morning? I get up at six. Yeah, I ain't happy, what's your point?

            You do know, don't you, that I'm not buying *any* of your story about wanting to talk to "the red-haired lady who was scooping the sidewalks earlier this afternoon"? The fact that there has been nothing on the sidewalks to scoop for at least two months is just the smallest of the reasons I ain't buying your tale.

            You do know, don't you, that the object in my right hand is an ax? You must; you sure discovered in a hurry that you were "at the wrong house". Duh, ya think?

            I sure hope you do know all those things. 'Cause if you show up at three-*&%$ing-eighteen tomorrow morning, I'm just gonna open the door and *use* the ax. No questions asked.

            A pissed-off, tired, cranky
            Morgana

            Comment


            • Dear Robert Downey Jr

              ROWR!!!

              love
              rads (who just got home from watching Iron Man)
              The report button - not just for decoration

              Comment


              • Dear Work,
                Please lighten up a bit. I know that it's the busy season and that I'll be working massive overtime for the next two months, but I'm getting really stressed. Can you just make yourself easier? Thanks.

                M

                Dear Self,
                STOP EATING CINNAMON ROLLS! Seriously, they are the reason that you've gained 15lbs since New Years. Get off your increasingly fat butt and go jogging or work out or do something. You're getting TOO FAT.

                M
                Do I dare
                Disturb the universe?
                In a minute there is time
                For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

                T.S. Eliot

                Comment


                • Dear Ned Yost:

                  Fuck you very much for keeping Yovanni Gallardo in the game yesterday to pitch on a torn ACL, which will keep him out for the rest of the season.

                  Thanks to your idiocy, the Brewers are now one inevitable Ben Sheets injury away from (shudder) Jeff Weaver in the starting rotation.

                  Playoffs go bye-bye. Hopefully you do too.

                  PO'd Brewers Fan
                  Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                  "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                  Comment


                  • Dear Boyfriend,

                    I miss you! I had a crappy morning and I wish I could just hide under my blankets with my teddy bear and read until I die of starvation.

                    More dramatic then intended,
                    -Me


                    Dear Co-irker whom made the schedule for the next two weeks,

                    Burn in hell.

                    -EQ
                    Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                    Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                    Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                    Comment


                    • Dear Employees Only Parking sign I ran over this morning at work,

                      .................oops?

                      -Me


                      Dear Shoes That I Wore And Couldn't Feel The GAS/BREAK Pedals In,

                      You're going back in the closet and I'm wearing my sneakers.

                      -Me


                      Dear Sneakers,

                      I LOVE YOU.

                      -Me

                      Dear Claudia-Jeep,

                      I'm so sorry, love! When I get the cash I'll take you to JB and have them fix you up good and proper. Please don't hate me.

                      -Me

                      Dear Boss-Man,

                      Okay, I get it, stop calling me Eval Keneval! I'll kick you again! And thanks for not screaming at me (you cracking all the jokes are punishment enough).

                      -The Brat

                      Dear Evil Queen,

                      Tell Mom and Dad and you're a dead woman.

                      -Your Bro
                      PS PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE SEND ME A TEDDY BEAR BECAUSE I CAN'T FIND MY NARUTO PLUSHIE AND I NEED SOMETHING TO SQUEEZE WHILE I RECOVER. ACK!
                      Now a member of that alien race called Management.

                      Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

                      Comment


                      • Quoth RetailWorkhorse View Post
                        Dear Evil Queen,

                        Tell Mom and Dad and you're a dead woman.

                        -Your Bro
                        PS PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE SEND ME A TEDDY BEAR BECAUSE I CAN'T FIND MY NARUTO PLUSHIE AND I NEED SOMETHING TO SQUEEZE WHILE I RECOVER. ACK!
                        Dear RetailWorkhorse,
                        Gee, what's to tell? You didn't get in trouble with your boss over it and it did (I'm assuming) no damage to the jeep, right? So there's nothing to tell.
                        -EQ
                        PS: Try storage, I think I left a couple teddy bears in there. If not I'll see what I can find and send you one later.
                        Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                        Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                        Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                        Comment


                        • Dear EQ,

                          It did very little damage to the bumper, actually. Kinda glad it was loose when I got it....

                          I found my Naru-plushie so I'm fine. Granted, Naru looks a bit mangled now....I really to get a Sasu-plushie..........

                          -Your Bro
                          Now a member of that alien race called Management.

                          Yeah, you see that right. Pink. Harness.

                          Comment


                          • Dear me,

                            Yeah, you told bossman that next time he wants to give you two days off, but one is on Sunday to just give you the one (non-Sunday) day off. He listened, and you have it. Deal with not having a nap on Tuesday and think of the extra money.

                            See the last five words of that last sentence? Keep that in mind because you also talked him into letting you come in an hour early tomorrow so you'll be there a total of 12½ instead of 11½ hours.


                            Sleep is overratedly,

                            Me
                            Unseen but seeing
                            oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                            There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                            3rd shift needs love, too
                            RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                            Comment


                            • Dear ArenaBoy,

                              Neener neener.

                              Me

                              Comment


                              • Dear The_STD,

                                Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
                                The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.

                                Comment

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