Dear....

[NimrodJess]

Dear car (another one),

Please randomly fix the alternator that went out yesterday. Also, a new battery would be nice, since you killed the one you have and now will not start.

Hooray for crappy things happening all at the same time.



Unamused,
The lady who fills you with gas.

[PassionTurtle]

*sigh

Dear Apartment,

I know i could have taken better care of you but its hard with a she bitch like you know who. If you could help me out by packing your self so I can be rid of your landlords once and for all I'd greatly appreciate it. Also, since you see everything, If you could leave me proff of where the hell my shit is I'd love you forever.

you friend,
Sick of this part of town and roomate

[XCashier]

Dear XCashier

Why won't the docs remove your tonsils if they keep getting infected and inflamed? They sound like quacks to me

*huggles and icecream (with calories removed)*
rads

Dear Iradney,

They don't like performing tonsillectomies on adults for some reason. Whenever I ask, I always get some different excuse or hemming and hawwing. It's frustrating as hell.

Thanks for the virtual ice cream!

XCashier

[PassionTurtle]

Roomate

Dear Shebeast Whorebag,

I know you dated my brother but im glad he dumped your ass for cheating on him in Peru with your herpy infested dance instructor. I hope your latin fever gives you Malaria. Oh and as far as you loveing your current illegal boyfriend. He's not going to wait for you. He has an illigitimate child with another girl. HE DIDNT EVEN TELL YOU until after she was born.. what was that 6 months after you started dating.. OO and as far as blowing his brains out every chance you get. If he was smart he'd drop your herpies infested ass and move back to mexico so he can become a real US citizen and STOP STEAL PEOPLES JOBS. If he was doing a job i wouldnt then what ever but being a cook at 3 different resurants seems a little greedy.

Hope your herpies burns you from the inside out.
Hope you become sterile so you dont pass any of your traits on to future human beings, because im not sure you are one.

I hope I never have the displeasure of seeing you ever again. Move back to SD and ROT!

Signed,
A real Human being

[NimrodJess]

Dear PassionTurtle,

You forgot to mention she throws your stuff and your boyfriend's expensive stuff around for no reason whatsoever. She also steals your things and claims they are her own.


She really is a worthless human being.

I still love you,
NRJ

[iradney]

Dear Iradney,

They don't like performing tonsillectomies on adults for some reason. Whenever I ask, I always get some different excuse or hemming and hawwing. It's frustrating as hell.

Thanks for the virtual ice cream!

XCashier

Dear XCashier

Sure, adult tonsillectomies have higher risks and recovery periods, and you might need someone to keep an eye on you for the first 10 days (tip: Sleep sitting up for those 10 days), but if they're getting infected on a regular basis...

Try keeping an infection diary, and keep the slips of any meds you have to take for em in that diary. After a couple months, check to see how many occurences you have, and take that with to the doc and say "Which is the lesser evil?"

Regards,
rads

[XCashier]

Dear Iradney,

The diary is a really good idea. Since I can't afford to go to the doctor every single time I get an infection, it'd be good to have a written record of it. I'll start on that right now.

I can deal with a long recovery time, heck, I'd be willing to heal for two months if it means I'll never be sick from tonsillitis again!

Thanks for your help,
XCashier

[Misanthropical]

Dear Stupid,

FISH DO NOT MATE THAT WAY! You brain dead waste of space. I have to fight the urge to beat the stupid out of you every single night!

Also, don't think BossMan doesn't see you take 30 minutes breaks when we are only allowed a 15 minute break.

At least, you caught on to the fact that I don't like you and have stopped trying to get me do to your job for you. If you want me to show you how to take a payment (which you have been shown at least 10 times already) I'm going to put it under my name, got it?

Oh, and one more thing, stop whining about how easy my and my friends jobs are. You have no clue what we do and how much work it is, besides, we paid our dues when we were on the hardest account our job has and did it for months on end, an account you would not have lasted one day on, so shut the hell up.



Dear body,

I got lots of sleep last night, so stop shaking, mmkay?



Dear Security guy,

Don't you waste a lot of gas just sitting in the parking lot with your car on for hours at a time?

Also, I'm not into any kind of sports, so trying to talk to me about scores or what is going on in the sports world will get you a blank look.

[PassionTurtle]

Body

Dear Body,

Why have you decided to get all swollen and puffy and achy? I just dont understand it. Is it the weather? or do you just hate me now. If you would I would appreciate it if you would stop the conspiracy you have against me with my brain. Body, you are achy and hurt and are too hot then cold and all swollen, and Brain you are TOO worked up. Seriously just chill. Take about 6 hours to calm down and stop fretting. I know im asking a lot here but its not like im asking you to stop working all together.

I'm afraid if you two won't meet my requests i'll have to take a more advanced approach. You wont like the results. You will be left out cold and all groggy.

You've been warmed.


The lady that is too young to put up with this shit.

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Nice(?) Lady at the Gaming Store,

Thank you for the information about hookworm therapy for allergies. However, $3,900.00 for one (ONE!!!) seminar/treatment is just too high for an untested/unknown treatment in the states. I've never been to Tijuana, Mexico, but I think I'll talk to my daughter's pediatrician before I make any decisions at this time. Plus, there is the possibility that she might have sleep apnea (hubs & I both have it).

Thank you for your thoughtfulness & the fact that you didn't give me dirty looks when my daughter threw a fit.

Sincerely,
IDaR

[draftermatt]

Dear Keys,

Where did you go? I miss you, and I'm scared. While I doubt someone walked up the driveway and took them if they were outside, I still worry.

And what if the new dog ate them? I doubt that too but since you aren't around and we've searched the whole house I don't know what to say.

[monolayth]

Dear body,

quit being tired and achey.

thanks

[Amethyst Hunter]

Dear Stupid,

You brain dead waste of space. I have to fight the urge to beat the stupid out of you every single night!

Dear Misanthropical,

Why fight it?

--

Dear (not) Heat/Humidity,

You asshole, you CAME BACK.

Hate always, Me

--

Dear carrots from the garden,

Cleaning you off is a total pain. But you are tasty and therefore my stomach thanks thee.

--

Dear Car,

I don't care (right now) what anyone says about the environment and gas prices. I *HEART* YOU.

Looking forward to taking you out on the road again very soon, Me

[the_std]

Dear Room-mates,
Thank you ever so much for letting me know last night that the stove and oven were broken. I was able to adequately supply myself with microwavable food in advance and was thus not left stranded today.

Ha!

Fuck you guys. I woke up to a note saying "stove and oven temporarily out of order"! You don't cook in the mornings before work, therefore this happened last night, so you could have phoned me or texted me to let me know and so I could buy microwavable food. I don't have any, nor do I have a car today, so I'm stuck ordering pizza so that I can fucking eat.

Argh.

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear (not) left ankle,

Why did you have to twist today? Now I hurt too much to make dinner and daughter is crying her head off. And hubs hasn't even left for home yet. I want my Mommy!

A very hurty Rum