Dear....

[Shangri-laschild]

Dear Students

I do not need the 5 minute intro. Honestly. Hearing about who you are, what your family's involvement is, what your other options were, etc on and on until finally you get to the point of "and so what I need to know is how to ...." If you had said that in the first place I could have already transfered you. I don't care who you are. Stop offering me your social security numbers!!! Stop telling me where you need to go and then cutting me off and going into this huge rant about why and then ending it with your first statement of where you need to go. I honestly don't give a damn about your story. I just want to get you transfered so I can get back to my other work. I'm not sure why people have been in a sharing mood lately but I'd like it if it would stop please!

[erasily_ani]

Dear Sister and Brother in Law:

Thank you for letting me stay with you for a few days. Brother in Law, thank you for getting my stuff. Thank you for letting my cat have a slight break down in your guest bedroom because he had no clue what was going on. Oh yeah, and thank you for loving me.

I don't say this enough, but I love you very much and you are the best sister (and brother in law) a girl could ask for.

Love,

your little sister



Dear Momma,

Thank you for getting on a plane last minute when I needed you. Thank you for dealing with a cat that doesn't like cars on a ten hour drive home. Thank you for letting me stay in your guest room. Thank you for letting me use your internet and thank you for putting me in touch with your real estate agent friend. Thank you for loving me and being the best Momma ever.

Love,

your daughter



Dear Uncle D,

Thank you for working with me like that at the drop of a hat. The job you have worked out for me is even better than I could have hoped for. Thank you for working with me when I'm a bit of a mess right now. I promise not to let you down.

And thank you for your offer to be an investor in the company I've wanted to start since high school. I'll think about it and get back to you.

Love,

your great-niece (and new office manager)



Dear kitty,

I know your world is a little crazy right now and I'm sorry. Please keep getting along with Momma's kitty. We'll only be here a couple more weeks, depending on the closing date. Thank you for being such a snuggle kitty. I promise we'll have a permanent home soon and that your world will go back to normal (well, until April when you get a human sibling. Your world might be a little weird then!)

Love,

Momma



Dear baby,

I know I'm stressed out and I'm sorry. I'm trying to be a good Mommy and stay calm, but I'm going through a lot. But do you really have to make me feel horrible and feel like I'm going to puke for two weeks straight? Can we PLEASE stop this?

Love,

your Mommy



Dear JW,

I'm not coming back. There's a reason I changed my phone number without telling you. I have also sent you a letter (okay, so technically a lawyer at my uncle's firm did, but it's on my behalf) stating that you have to move your number somewhere because when I pay this months bill? So disconnecting your line from my service. You have two more weeks but don't seem to be doing anything about it.

Also, please stop calling people you think might now where I am to find out where I am. Yes, they tell me you called them. No, they will not tell you where I am. Most of THEM don't know where I am; I'm just talking to them by e-mail. I gave you more chances than you probably deserved.

It's not my fault you never paid attention enough to even begin to have an idea where I might be. If you had, it probably wouldn't be that hard to figure out. Lucky for me you're a bit self absorbed, I guess.

No love,

your ex-girlfriend

[crazylegs]

Dear Bike saddle,

OWWWWW!!!

That is all.

Yours, painfully

Crazylegs.

[Trayol]

Dear Body,

Why must you arbitrarily decide to get insomnia when I actually need some form of energy.

Tiredly yours, Trayol

[Bella_Vixen]

Dear Becks--

OH MY GOD!!!! I am soooooooooooooooooo surprised.

[Shangri-laschild]

Dear V

I appreaciate you telling me you were going to grab some food. Really. It's a step up from when you would just wander off like one of those nursing home patients who are a flight risk. But if you're going to be gone for a fucking hour say so! I'm really fucking tired of this. I'd love to go talk to Chief but you'll just once again try to make it sound like it's a personal attack because I have a problem with you and that I'm a liar. Fuck you. I'm tired of it.

[Dreamstalker]

Dear Owner's Pet:

I know my posture is a bit bad (it is my body afterall). I know I growled at you yesterday when you grabbed my shoulders and pulled my upper torso back against my chair. As evidenced by my reaction, that hurts if done suddenly especially if I am being pulled into something unyielding like a chair back. Not to mention that if I am grabbed from behind in any fashion, my natural reaction is to attempt to hurt whoever's doing it. You're lucky I knew you were there (and largely prevented by the chair and my desire for continued employment from doing anything I would regret).

I'm aware there is a language barrier, but in my eyes that is not a justifiable excuse for grabbing me (or anyone) at all, nor my belongings. Please STOP.

-------------------------

Dear Ex,

I know you're hurting because you can't get a job. I am sympathetic, but ultimately it's really not my problem. You made the decision to not avail yourself of the academic help that was given free and drop out of college. You also made the piss-poor decision to see how long you could mooch off your family. I have my own shit to worry about. I really don't care about your schemes (none of which I think will work) to prevent your car from being repo'ed. You don't get to hear about my job until you yourself get one.

[Dreamstalker]

Dear erasily_ani,

It sounds like you're getting things back together. Good for you, I'm still pulling for ya! Hugs to you and kitty and baby!

[erasily_ani]

Dear Dreamstalker,

Thanks! I'm working on it. Give me about six weeks and my life should be somewhere around stable and normal.

The kitty definitely appreciates the hugs. The baby? Well, it stopped moving for a second, then said "F*ck it" and started making Momma feel like crap again. Silly baby.

[Misanthropical]

Dear coworkers,

Yes, I am taking Monday off and no I don't think it's any of your business as to why. I will always take Aug. 25th off and I will never tell any of you why. It's my business and not something I care to discuss with any of you.

Yes, my friend does know why and she won't tell any of you either, because she knows how painful it would be for me to come in on Tuesday and have all you bringing it up.

I don't want you all asking me why again on Tuesday, it's still none of your business. I tried to be polite about it, but I will go off if you all keep pushing it.

Just leave me alone, thanks.



Dear friend,

You don't know how much it means to me that you don't take it personal when I'm lashing out. I don't mean to, it's just that August always has me torn in opposite directions.

Also, thank you for refusing to tell every nosy coworker why I am not coming in on Monday.

You don't know how much it means to me that you are a such a great friend, even if you do give me those "why aren't you in a straight jacket yet?" looks when I think something is so funny I can't stop laughing about it and you don't really see the humor in it. The best example is the onion joke. I know you and my husband don't think it's funny, but my kids and I find it the height of funny.

Plus, when I'm rambling you don't tell me shut the hell up. I joke that you haven't told me that YET!



Dear husband,

Thank you for finally getting new tires on the car. I was worried more than you know that you would be in accident with those tires that were BALD! Geez!

I'm still really angry that you will be going to work on Monday. You have no idea.



Dear daughter,

Yes, I know I'm a huge meanie face right now, but you will see why I did what I did when you are older and you will glad I was tough on you. I only do things because I love you, not because I like being a huge meanie.



Dear oldest son,

I hope you do well at the main campus High School. I'm still going to worry about you, though. I'm a mom, it's my job.

Also, you crack me up. I like that we have the same sense of humor, even if others don't get it.



Dear little guy,

Happy Birthday to you on the 24th! I can't believe you are going to be 10 already.

I know you don't want me to walk you to school on the first day and you claim that you will just die of embarrassment. I worry, deal! I promised that you can walk yourself after the first day.

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Child,

I am not the damn garbage disposal. When you're done with your breakfast/lunch/dinner plate, you will put it in the sinnk. I don't care if it has food on it or not. That's where it goes.

Grrrr,
Your Mommy

----------------------------------------
F You Husband,

1. Do not laugh when your daughter implies I am the human garbage disposal of the family. It is not funny. I didn't even laugh.

2. I am no longer cooking you breakfast on the weekends. If you don't like what I eat, f you! Make whatever you like. I'm through with being nice to you.



Your Wife

[the_std]

Dear Boything,

I love you so very much, even through all the shit and problems and complications in our lives. The seizures and the hormonal issues and the money and all of that... It doesn't matter. I'm able to look past them, look through them and just be with you, to be happy.

You left this morning. You moved back to Calgary, and I couldn't come with you. I don't have the money, the space or the job to live there with you yet. I don't know how long it will be till I can, and that's killing me. Seeing you drive away was one of the most painful goodbyes of my life. I hope that school goes well for you and fills that void in your life that was making you so sad.

I will be there as soon as I can, to support you and love you and be with you through everything... It hurts so much to not have you with me, but I know this is the right thing to do, this is what we need to do.

I love you. Don't get into too much trouble without me.

[Becks]

Dear Lizziebeff,

I'm glad you liked your surprise.

Sorry my apartment got cold. I would've closed a window or two...or something.

Miss you!!!

Love,

Becks

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear local Bi-Lo,

Thank you for finally stocking the Mama Rosa's pizzas. I left two packs for the nice cashier because he said they were his favourite. However, I WILL be back next Sunday to get more.

Please keep stocking the only thing i buy from you,
RW


Dear Hair-dye,

uhm...I know I probably wasn't supposed to leave the burgandy dye in for an hour but did you have to go almost black? Not that I dislike it, mind you. It rocks that I can have this dark of a colour. Now I seriously need to upgrade my camera so I can post pictures.

Thanks for making me feel good,
RW


Dear Used Bookstore,

BE PREPARED FOR I AM GOING TO SEE YOU TODAY!

You have been warned.
RW


Dear Boss-Lady,
5:30-9? That's not fair! Comeone, I use up more gas to get there than I make money for! You know I'm saving up for a motorbike, give me a chance to make at least a quarter of what I need! You don't want your Pony sad, do you?
-RW

[Becks]

Dear glasses,



That is all.

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear left ear,

Why do you look swollen and feel a little bit funny?

Concerned,

me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear T,

Still miss you.

--me