Dear....

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear RW

Come over, I'll feed you lasagne till you pop!

Rads

Dear Rads,

Deal!

-RW



Dear Weather Gods,

Today it snowed. Make it go away. Seriously. I am not kidding. Did it really look like I wanted it to snow? It's not funny. I should not have to suffer through January-type weather until, get this, JANUARY! It is far too cold far too early. If you do not cease and desist, I will be forced to come up there and kick your asses all the way to Mount Olympia.

Don't think I won't do it. I have access to the Occult and have a limited understanding of it. Do you think that makes me more dangerous or less dangerous?

I rather thought that would get your attention and I have no doubt that you are pissed that a lowly Human would even think such things. Well, guess what.

I'm not any kind of Lowly Human. I am a Self-Loathing Human. Somehow, I do believe that makes me much, much, worse.

That is all.
-The Mel

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear Misanthropical,

You're not overreacting. That sounds perfectly awful.

Hoping he changes his mind,
--RootedPhoenix

Dear Bigelow,

Your Orange & Spice tea is awesome.

Slightly warmer now,
collector of herb teas

RootedPhoenix,

Please drink all that herb tea you've collected. Now is a good time, seeing as how it's cold and November-y.

Also, STOP buying all that wonderful Japanese music. You're making me cry.

-your wallet.

[Misanthropical]

Dear RootedPhoenix,

He didn't change his mind.

Also, Bigelow tea rocks! I have some Earl Gray and Chai that I keep in my desk. The orange sounds good, so I may have to pick some of that up next time I'm at the store.


Dear friend,

Thank you for trying to cheer me up last night. You knew that nothing was going to really work, but you tried anyway.


Dear BossMan,

Thank you for being concerned if I was being hurt, even though I wasn't. I'm glad to see that you would have cared if I had been.

I didn't react well to what you were trying to do, because it never crosses my mind that people would think my husband would ever think to raise his hand to me.

I do appreciate what you were trying to do even if I wasn't one who needed the help.


Dear people of PA,

Why are all of you so surprised when it gets cold in Nov? It happens almost every year and you all act like you didn't see it coming.

We won't go into how you all lose your collective shit when it snows.

[Evil Queen]

Dear computer repair place/EQ/EQ's SO,

THANK YOU for your combined efforts which are responsible for my computer getting back on its feet, so to speak.

- AH

Dear Amethyst,

Oh good. The SO had asked me just yesterday if I'd heard anything about your computer or you. Glad to know everything's working out! I'll see you online!

-EQ

[AdminAssistant]

BoyThing,

Next time you suggest we watch a scary movie and then fall asleep in the middle, I'm pouncing on you. That's not nice. And Videodrome? I mean, I know I like weird stuff, but it was a bit much even for me.

~ Your GirlThing

[the_std]

Dear Ninja,

... About damn time! But let's try again when I haven't been awake for 23 hours straight.

Hee hee hee,
Me

[iradney]

Dear TTO

Thanks for not running away screaming when I had my mini-breakdown this afternoon. Thanks for helping me get through it, and then giving me some tough love.
I love you

Rads

Dear Self

This self-loathing needs to stop. You're not a failure. You're not a horrible person. You are not worthless. Keep it together. And by keep it together, I don't mean let everything build up until you can't keep it in and burst into tears while walking the dog.

Rads

[Misanthropical]

Dear doctor,

You rock out loud! Thank you so much for the Ambien! I slept really well last night. I did write a weird rant after I took it, but I had a point.


Dear idiot neighbor,

Keep revving that motorcycle all the time for no reason and I will feed it to you. I don't need to hear you revving that thing for 30 minutes at a time. Go get the attention you so desperately want somewhere else.


Dear other neighbor,

For all the years we have lived here, I have seen you working on that car every single second you can. Don't you think it's time to tow it to the dump if after 4 years you still can't get it running?

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear Work,

I'm returning on November 29. Are you ready for me? I'm not sure if I am. I liked having Saturdays off where I can do things with my daughter ('cos interesting stuff is always scheduled for Saturdays).

Would I be selfish if I quit?

Mulling,
IDaR

[Misanthropical]

Dear IDaR,

I have looked at the pictures on my desk of my children and wanted to quit right then and go home to be with them.

Now that I work full time I rarely see them and that makes me a sad panda. I do see the little guy before he goes to school, but he is the only one.


Dear little guy,

I think by all the kisses and hugs I have been getting that you miss me during the week, or are you just trying to get caught up on all the kisses and hugs I missed? either way, I'm not complaining.


Dear laundry and house work,

Could you all please get things done while I'm at work, so that I don't spend most of the weekend catching up on it all? Thanks.

[Becks]

Dear various bra makers,

Would it really kill you to make cute/sassy/whatever bras in 38DD? I'm sick to death of plain, boring colors and I can't afford to hit up FOH all the time.

Almost considering a reduction,

me

[SorryIsGoodEnough]

Dear Becks,

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I'm a 36F, and most stores don't even sell my cup size in ANY COLOR, even plain beige and black!

I feel your pain.

[Becks]

Dear SIGE,

That sucks.

We should start a letter writing campaign. Or learn how to make our own bras.

--Becks

[Misanthropical]

Dear bra makers,

How about making one for just comfort? One where the straps don't slide down. kthnxbi.


Dear husband,

Yes, I am still mad at you and buying me things isn't going to get me to forgive you.

I don't want you to buy me things when I'm mad as hell. I want you to go in tomorrow and tell them you quit, because it isn't worth the wedge it's putting between us.

I wasn't going to play all snuggly on the couch and watch a movie with you, because you would have taken that as a sign I forgive you, that won't happen till you decide that I am more important than some low paying job.

A Dunkin Doughnuts coffee would help a little. Light cream, no sugar, just six Splenda packets.


Dear BossMan,

I'm going to be switching things out on my desk with an empty desk, so I can lock my desk when I'm not there. I could use help doing it though. So, if you help me with this I will try not to be too upset with you that I didn't get an immediate raise.


Dearest daughter,

You school project is costing us more money than it should. A lot more money. We can't afford to have you do all these expensive projects. If your teacher has a problem with this, tell her to call me.

Oh, and it's your turn to do the dishes, stop putting it off.


Dear guy at the bakery,

What was the purpose of taking two huge boxes of all the good cookies. You didn't leave a single one!! I just wanted two cookies, but no, piggy you took them all.

I get real grouchy with out cookies, so don't do it again or I will beat you to death with a roll of hard crust bread and take them from you.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear Brother-Person-That's-Not-Related-To-Me,

I will be in high heels, a short skirt, and a long jacket. Don't make me come over there, it's hard to dance in these things.

-The One And Only Mel-Thing