Dear....

[Jack T. Chance]

Dear "God"... or "Powers That Be"... or whoever the hell you are;

Fine. I get it. There's no point trying to change my fate anymore. It's pointless. I GIVE UP.

You fuckin' happy now?!?

[Dreamstalker]

Dear Family Friend and Petsitting Client:

We agreed that I would petsit for you next week, and then three weeks in August. However...I am providing a service (this is a business for me and you know this), and the rate I initially gave you was based on your request that I stay overnight for at least some of those days this week. That was spelled out; it's always up to the client whether they want me to stay over.

If you wish to negotiate the price, you do not immediately come back with a 50% price reduction with no explanation. I'm willing to negotiate IF the client has legitimate financial issues, which I know you do not. The price I gave you already included a 'friends and family' discount, and my daily rates are quite reasonable. I will come over for the number of times you will be paying me for.

[fireheart]

Dear CS.com folks,

I REALLY love it when different state-funded psychiatrists decide to play the diagnosis game with me. Here's the list of diagnoses I have received in the last few years:

-Major Depression.
-General Anxiety.
-Borderline Personality Disorder.
-Possible bipolar.
-Dysthymia.
-Social Anxiety Disorder.
-Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.

Of those, the first three were done by the same service, the next one was done by another psychiatrist (on the recommendation of my mental health "team"), the next was done by my doctor and the last two by the latest psychiatrist I've seen. It has been really frustrating for my family.
I also suspect that a couple of those diagnoses have been made on key words, such as "self-harm" or "suicidal thoughts" which lately have only cropped up during times of stress.
So far, the label we are going with is dysthymia and social anxiety.

Too bad wellbutrin/zyban isn't covered for that in Australia.....>.<

On top of that, people keep stating that I shouldn't be thinking this, that or the other. It's kind of hard to feel good about yourself when the self-talk is all 100% true. Anything else and I am deluding myself, sticking my head in the sand, or forgetting about it. If I end up along that path, I end up becoming an even bigger fat blob and forgetting about what I need to do, which is to lose weight. I end up screwing up anyway, I end up unable to work. Being positive doesn't help me practically. It doesn't help me physically. What's the point when the self-talk is all 100% true and accurate anyway. When you feel like everyone is judging you and they are right. Because god forbid that someone with a mental illness can be right, for all you know, it's in their head. God forbid that someone with a mental illness can actually accuse someone of something and actually BE right about it.

[Jack T. Chance]

Dear Black Sabbath;

THANK YOU for FINALLY putting out a new studio album with Ozzy as Lead Singer! I love you blokes so much!

--------------------------------------------

Dear Bill Ward;

I wish you had chosen to participate in the reunion album and tour. Black Sabbath isn't completely whole without you on the drums. Still... you must do what you feel is right, of course.

[Jack T. Chance]

Dear Frito-Lay....

Dear Frito-Lay, Inc.;

Your Lay's Stax Potato Crisps are simply TOO DAMNED ADDICTIVE! Please see to this problem immediately, if not sooner.

KTHXBYE!

Sincerely;

Anyone That's Ever Opened a Can, Then Couldn't Stop Munching On Them. >_<

[Tyg3rW01f]

Dear Self,

Why the can't you figure out the simplest tasks, then do them like you are supposed to do? Srsly, taking 95 minutes to not only discover you have the wrong ZIP Code plugged into your GPS, but that you have -like an idiot- left your cellphone at home?! Then you go back to the pizza place and COMPLAIN?! WTF, Self?!

Signed,
Tyger

[catcul]

Dear Bottom Feeding, Scum Sucking Algae Eaters,

Actually, calling you that is an insult to bottom feeders everywhere. How dare you create a virus that pretends to be an anti-virus? Your virus actually blocks legitimate anti-virus programs so we can't get rid of the actual virus. I literally had to remove the hard drive from my mother's computer so I could get rid of your infected garbage. You did this to my computer, too.

Why don't you use your talents to make the world a better place? The only two comparisons to your "business model" I can think of off the top of my head involve the mob and the crossbow rapist. I'm sure you're familiar with the mob's "protection" racket. The crossbow rapist sold home security systems using the threat of the crossbow rapist as a selling point.

Rot in Hell.

Signed,
Catcul

[Sarlon]

dear mother nature,

I know you gave us a 5 year drought that's stretched out to 8 years and running, but did you REALLY have give us all this rain at once?

serious I think I say the sun 3 times this ENTIRE season....

please don't make it snow as much as it rained this winter....

Love eternally,

ME!

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear insides,

I am going to replace you with parts from Wal-Mart and the dollar store if you don't quit.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr,
RP

Dear self,

Blog posts don't write themselves. Also, promotion isn't automagical either.

*sigh*,
RP

[Tyg3rW01f]

Dear Medical Issues,

Why must you always strike at the least opportune moment for those you afflict, and NOT kill those who truly deserve it... like politicians... instead of killing, or maiming innocents, like Mytical? I mean, seriously! What did the poor guy EVER do to you?!

Signed,
Mytical's Friends and medical issue sufferers everywhere

[fireheart]

Dear friends of mine currently sleeping on the floor together,

I know what you two are doing. My SO knows what you two are doing. Despite how quiet you believe you are being, rustling sleeping bags and whispered moans give it away.
So please just hurry up and start dating already!!! We already know you are doing the horizontal salsa on the floor. Just hurry up and start dating please!!

[fireheart]

Dear girlfriend of mine,

While I think it's cute that you are in denial about who the "Mystery man" you keep mentioning, the fact stands that I know who it is. My SO knows who it is. My SO's MOTHER knows who it is.

Seriously, you do not (and should not!) need to hide the fact that he is a great friend to you and that you might have a little thing for him. It's like a frigging soap opera between you two! Just for the love of cheese, HURRY UP AND START DATING ALREADY! You two are already fucking, you may as well just do it!

[RootedPhoenix]

Dear migraine,

Piss off. Now.

--RP

[Dreamstalker]

Dear S:

How did I wind up with different rates for different people? (some people pay me more than my asking rate because their pets have become attached to me)

Yes, I know we're friends. I know you're my therapist. You also know that I am petsitting as a business venture. Cutting our agreed-upon rate by more than half (I'm giving you my 'friends' rate for overnight stays, which even given my slight increase during holiday weeks is more than reasonable around here) by saying "I think that's too much" during a quick visit when we're both in a hurry is not the way to negotiate. I'm willing to take less if your neighbor is also checking in on the cats, but this week it's just me.

You didn't have a problem with my rate before, and want me to stay over for 4 nights. My rate is based on what the client wants me to do (I'm able to work it around my other job almost all the time). You paid me the equivalent of two nights...less than two, really. I will come over for the number of visits I am paid for.

Petsitting is how I supplement paying my credit card bills. I don't really appreciate having to suddenly recalculate how much I can give them this month.

--------------------------------------

Dear Property Management:

I know this is never going to happen, but I think we deserve a rent credit being that we're the only ones in the building who ever report any problems. Oh, and the inner vestibule door still doesn't lock (I can literally push it open without a key). You've 'fixed' it twice over three months. I can see the problem.

[Food Lady]

Dear brain, I know you are doing your best to heal. And it would happen sooner if I didn't take in any more stimuli. But I can't stop living my life. I have to work. I have to attend to paperwork. I have a disaster of a house to clean. It's the holidays. I'm giving you 10 hours of sleep where I can. Please don't take forever. And don't get dementia. I won't have anyone to take care of me. Well, maybe.