Your All-Time Favorite Quotes!

[MergedLoki]

^

an addon to the family guy ones

*police scanner* 'there's been a shooting on 5th and main'
Brian: Is it just me or is rap music getting lazier?

[Jack T. Chance]

The Wizard's Ninth Rule...

The Wizard's Ninth Rule

A contradiction can not exist in reality. Not in part, nor in whole. To believe in a contradiction is to abdicate your belief in the existence of the world around you and the nature of the things in it, to instead embrace any random impulse that strikes your fancy - to imagine something is real simply because you wish it were. A thing is what it is, it is itself. There can be no contradictions.

Faith is a device of self-delusion, a sleight of hand done with words and emotions founded on any irrational notion that can be dreamed up. Faith is the attempt to coerce truth to surrender to whim. In simple terms, it is trying to breathe life into a lie by trying to outshine reality with the beauty of wishes. Faith is the refuge of fools, the ignorant, and the deluded, not of thinking, rational men.

In reality, contradictions cannot exist. To believe in them you must abandon the most important thing you possess: your rational mind. The wager for such a bargain is your life. In such an exchange, you always lose what you have at stake.

From Terry Goodkind's Chainfire, Chapter 48, page 489.

[Hobbs]

"With my mission now at hand, my dear old town, my dear old people,
I now abandon everything and leave to protect this country.
To preserve our eternal and just cause, I now go forth.
My body will collapse like a falling cherry blossom
but my soul will live and protect this land forever.
Farewell. I am a glorious wild cherry blossom.
I shall return to my mother's place and bloom."

- Mayumi Ichikawa.

[Ghel]

Two from Abe Lincoln:

"I believe it is an established maxim in morals that he who makes an assertion
without knowing whether it is true or false, is guilty of falsehood; and the
accidental truth of the assertion, does not justify or excuse him."

"When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion."

[Hobbs]

Trinity: Ghost, can I ask you a serious question?
Ghost: Of course
Trinity: Do you believe that Neo is going to end the war?
Ghost: Yes. I do.
Trinity: So do I. But I can't explain how or why.
Ghost: Kierkegaard reminds us that belief has nothing to do with how or why. Belief is beyond reason. I believe because it is absurd.
Trinity: You think it's crazy to believe it?
Ghost: To believe what? That a single man can stop an entire race of machines, and end a war that has endured for over a hundred years? Of course! It's complete lunacy. And that's why we must believe it will happen. Faith by its very nature must transcend logic.

Ghost and Trinity, Enter the Matrix

[Jack T. Chance]

While looking online for more info about punk rock singer-turned actor Henry Rollins, I found some great quotes by him...

"You can get away with a lot of shit if it looks like it's all you know how to do."

"The ones who don't do anything are always the ones who try to pull you down."

"If you hate your parents, the man, or the establishment, don't show them up by getting wasted and wrapping your car around a tree. If you really want to rebel against your parents: outearn them, outlive them, and know more than they do."

"Nothing brings people together more than a mutual hatred."

[BookstoreEscapee]

you can’t go wrong with the truth…
uless you're trying to sell something…

(posted by "MrKilljoy" on Failblog)

[Lace Neil Singer]

More Family Guy quotes:

(Lois walks in on Stewie torturing a bully)
Stewie: We're playing house...
Lois: But that boy is all tied up!
Stewie: Roman Polanski's house.

Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be?
Quagmire: Taylor Hanson.
Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy.
Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire."
Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire.
Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible.
[Pause]
Quagmire: Oh God. Oh my God. I've got all these magazines. Oh God.

Meg: I can't believe my stupid parents are going to follow stupid old KISS around, it's painful.
Peter: Not half as painful as a tire iron upside your head.
Meg: What?
Peter: I'll miss you!

[Jack T. Chance]

"He wasn't fired, he was upgraded to customer!"
--One of my new co-workers, in reference to a (now former) co-worker that washed out of the training program!

[Jack T. Chance]

Conan: "Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!"

--Conan's version of a prayer to his god, from Conan the Barbarian.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Just came across this in a Slate.com comments post:


Blood may be thicker than water, but it's also a biohazard.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

Conan: "Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!"

--Conan's version of a prayer to his god, from Conan the Barbarian.

Made me think of this...

"I pissed off now, Jo-Bu... Look, I good to you. I stick up for you. If you no help me now... I say fuck you, Jo-Bu. I do it myself." - Pedro Cerano (Dennis Haysbert) "Major League" during the final game.

[Cazzi]

Get the cheese to sickbay! - B'lanna Torres, Star Trek Voyager.

Did I mention I love cheese?

[Lace Neil Singer]

More Red Dwarf quotes.


Rimmer: Well, if you ask me, the Eskimos had the right idea. They knew how to handle the elderly and the permanently baffled. Middle of the night, they'd take them out into the blizzard, remove their pyjamas, and just leave them to it.
Kryten: And that's how the Eskimos cared for their old people?
Rimmer: Absolutely. That's why there's no Eskimo word for "Eastbourne."

Kryten: I beg you to reconsider, Sir. Human history is resplendent with examples of such sacrifice. Remember Captain Oates: "I'm going out for a walk. I may be some time."
Rimmer: Yes, but the thing is, about Captain Oates; the thing you have to remember about Captain Oates; Captain Oates... Captain Oates was a prat. If that'd been me, I'd've stayed in the tent, whacked Scott over the head with a frozen husky, and then eaten him.
Lister: You would too, wouldn't you?
Rimmer: History, Lister, is written by the winners. How do we know that Oates went out for this legendary walk? From the only surviving document: Scott's diary. And he's hardly likely to have written down, "February the First, bludgeoned Oates to death while he slept, then scoffed him along with the last packet of instant mash." How's that going to look when he gets rescued, eh? No, much better to say, "Oates made the supreme sacrifice," while you're dabbing up his gravy with the last piece of crusty bread.

[lolad]

The other cop was well known in the department. He was a nice guy and good to work with. He once tested the shotgun in the vertical cruiser mount by pulling the trigger. Since it's not supposed to have rounds in it, the shotgun would always click. One time though it had been used and a round accidentally left in the chamber when it was put back in the car. He blew the lightbar off the roof of the car during his shotgun "function check."
- ten80.blogspot.com


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Almost everything in Australia is made of poison, and if you find something that is not poisonous, watch out for the claws and the teeth.
- agirlandherfed.com/comic/?513



and a couple from My life is average

Today, I saw twin toddler boys wear matching shirts that said, "I'm one of a kind." MLIA.

Today I Read a website claiming Australians are incredibly bad-ass because they live in a country filled with dangerous animals and have to kill at least twenty venomous animals everyday. Being an Australian I laughed it off. Later while doing the dishes I saw a snake in the kitchen and reflexively chucked a pot I was cleaning at it, killing it. It was an inland taipan, which by the way is the deadliest snake in the world. MLIA