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Some of you may have heard at least part of this joke. There was a scene on an episode of Cheers where people were sitting around telling jokes, and they cut back to that scene just in time to catch the punchline. They never aired the actual joke, for reasons which will become obvious...
There was a farmer who had a baby duck that he kept as a pet, ever since he found the egg and hatched it in an incubator. Everywhere he goes, he takes the duck with him, perched on his shoulder.
One day, he's in the city, and he's walking past a movie theater. He decides to see the movie, but he gets stopped at the door.
"I'm sorry, sir," the usher tells him, "You can't bring your duck in here."
"But I never go anywhere without him!", the farmer answers.
"I'm sorry, but you can't bring him in here."
So the farmer turns and leaves, and starts making his way back home.
As soon as he gets around the corner, he starts thinking about how he really wants to see the movie. So he takes the duck off his shoulder, sticks it down his pants, and goes back to the theater.
Once he's inside, he gets worried that his duck might not be able to get any air, so he opens his zipper and lets the duck stick his head out.
Next to the farmer, two women are sitting. The one closest to him whispers to the other one, "You're not going to believe this! That guy sitting next to me has his penis sticking out!"
"Just ignore him", her friend tells her.
"I'm trying to! But it's eating my popcorn!"
There was a farmer who had a baby duck that he kept as a pet, ever since he found the egg and hatched it in an incubator. Everywhere he goes, he takes the duck with him, perched on his shoulder.
One day, he's in the city, and he's walking past a movie theater. He decides to see the movie, but he gets stopped at the door.
"I'm sorry, sir," the usher tells him, "You can't bring your duck in here."
"But I never go anywhere without him!", the farmer answers.
"I'm sorry, but you can't bring him in here."
So the farmer turns and leaves, and starts making his way back home.
As soon as he gets around the corner, he starts thinking about how he really wants to see the movie. So he takes the duck off his shoulder, sticks it down his pants, and goes back to the theater.
Once he's inside, he gets worried that his duck might not be able to get any air, so he opens his zipper and lets the duck stick his head out.
Next to the farmer, two women are sitting. The one closest to him whispers to the other one, "You're not going to believe this! That guy sitting next to me has his penis sticking out!"
"Just ignore him", her friend tells her.
"I'm trying to! But it's eating my popcorn!"