Keep the preacher

[CaroPhoenix]

A preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him enough to support his family and educate his children.

There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the city stands up and proclaims, "If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!"

The congregation sighs in relief and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, "If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!" More sighs and loud applause.

Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the Preacher stays, I will give him sex!"

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her, "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?"

Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies, "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help and he said, 'Screw the Preacher!'."

[karath]

Heard a similar joke recently:

A married preacher informed his congregation that his wife was pregnant. There were the appropriate "ooos" and "awws," then the preacher informed the congregation that his newly expanded family couldn't live on his current salary. The congregation decided that whenever the preacher's family grew, so would his paycheck.

After the 6th child, the congregation and the preacher gathered again. Things were now getting too expensive for the church. After a shouting match began, the preacher roared "Children are a gift from God!" Silence fell.

Then a frail old woman in the back spoke up. "So is rain, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers!"

[edible_hat]

"So is rain, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers!"

I told my co-workers this, one laughed so hard she stopped breathing!