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Email. Yes, I tidied it up; aren't I nice? 
Tho, I might not be as nice to the guy who sent me this... XD
Apologizing.
Say you're sorry. No-one says you have to mean it. It's always a good idea to say sorry as soon as you wake up, in case you did something wrong in her dreams.
Baths.
It's a way to get clean, not an excuse to spend 10 hours locked in, surrounded by candles, until you resemble a prune. It's a medical fact that women can stand much hotter water than men. They usually like it the temperature of lava, or at least to the point that you can light a cigarette off it.
Compromise.
Or, to put it another way, "Let's neither of us have any fun."
Duvets.
They say women are the weaker sex, but have you ever tried to get the duvet off her at 4am?
Exes - Where to hide the videos.
It has to be somewhere she never goes - how about the toolbox?
Foot odour.
Not big or clever, altho a smelly foot held next to a sleeping nose will wake the laziest female. Do women's feet smell?
OH YES.
Grovelling.
Much under-rated method of obtaining sex.
Heating.
Women love having the heater on in the house. They start sneaking it on around July in case a cold snap catches them out in August.
"I'm not angry, I'm disappointed!"
Cool!
Juvenile behavior.
Term used to describe everything you do after you've upset her.
Kissing.
Way to get back in her good books.
Losing things.
If you lose your keys, don't expect any sympathy or indeed help. However, it's one of those odd things that she always knows where your wallet is.
Mind games.
Don't even think about it. Before engaging her in clever mind games, remember that a woman is like a Rubik's cube - you'll get one side right only to discover that everything else will now be wrong.
Nagging.
Listen girls, there's no point in it. We tune it out, so you're wasting your time.
"Our stuff"
Say goodbye to "Your belongings".
PMS.
That time of the month, where the best thing you can do is go and hide in the crawl space until it's all over.
Questions.
NEVER, EVER answer honestly questions that start with these words:
Have you ever...?
Would you ever...?
When did you first...?
If she and I were in different rooms...?
Does my bum look big...?
Romance.
On Valentine's Day, why not give her a surprise she'll never forget? Go out with your friends instead!
Showing her up.
Apparently this is one of the things that she doesn't find amusing on any level.
Things...
Things you'll never hear a woman say:
I've packed too many clothes for holiday
That's enough foreplay
I couldn't eat another chocolate
Things you'll never hear a man say:
Oral sex? No thanks!
Sure, let's go and visit your mother today
Instead of watching the Superbowl, let's watch the chick flick on the other side
Utensils.
When you find yourself eating your food with a ladle, it's time to get her to do the washing up.
Vaginal flatulence.
Make her feel better about this little trick of nature by laughing hysterically whenever it happens.
Washing up.
Along with hoovering, dusting and cooking, this is women's work.
X-rated videos.
Tell her that you've binned the lot as a sign of your commitment to her. (But really hide them under the mattress.)
Yes.
The correct answer to the following questions:
Am I the best you've had?
Do you love me?
Would you love me if I had no money?
PLUS Any question she asks while she has PMS.
Zilch.
What your opinons are now worth.
Tho, I might not be as nice to the guy who sent me this... XDApologizing.
Say you're sorry. No-one says you have to mean it. It's always a good idea to say sorry as soon as you wake up, in case you did something wrong in her dreams.
Baths.
It's a way to get clean, not an excuse to spend 10 hours locked in, surrounded by candles, until you resemble a prune. It's a medical fact that women can stand much hotter water than men. They usually like it the temperature of lava, or at least to the point that you can light a cigarette off it.
Compromise.
Or, to put it another way, "Let's neither of us have any fun."
Duvets.
They say women are the weaker sex, but have you ever tried to get the duvet off her at 4am?
Exes - Where to hide the videos.
It has to be somewhere she never goes - how about the toolbox?
Foot odour.
Not big or clever, altho a smelly foot held next to a sleeping nose will wake the laziest female. Do women's feet smell?
OH YES.
Grovelling.
Much under-rated method of obtaining sex.
Heating.
Women love having the heater on in the house. They start sneaking it on around July in case a cold snap catches them out in August.
"I'm not angry, I'm disappointed!"
Cool!
Juvenile behavior.
Term used to describe everything you do after you've upset her.
Kissing.
Way to get back in her good books.
Losing things.
If you lose your keys, don't expect any sympathy or indeed help. However, it's one of those odd things that she always knows where your wallet is.
Mind games.
Don't even think about it. Before engaging her in clever mind games, remember that a woman is like a Rubik's cube - you'll get one side right only to discover that everything else will now be wrong.
Nagging.
Listen girls, there's no point in it. We tune it out, so you're wasting your time.
"Our stuff"
Say goodbye to "Your belongings".
PMS.
That time of the month, where the best thing you can do is go and hide in the crawl space until it's all over.
Questions.
NEVER, EVER answer honestly questions that start with these words:
Have you ever...?
Would you ever...?
When did you first...?
If she and I were in different rooms...?
Does my bum look big...?
Romance.
On Valentine's Day, why not give her a surprise she'll never forget? Go out with your friends instead!
Showing her up.
Apparently this is one of the things that she doesn't find amusing on any level.
Things...
Things you'll never hear a woman say:
I've packed too many clothes for holiday
That's enough foreplay
I couldn't eat another chocolate
Things you'll never hear a man say:
Oral sex? No thanks!
Sure, let's go and visit your mother today
Instead of watching the Superbowl, let's watch the chick flick on the other side
Utensils.
When you find yourself eating your food with a ladle, it's time to get her to do the washing up.
Vaginal flatulence.
Make her feel better about this little trick of nature by laughing hysterically whenever it happens.
Washing up.
Along with hoovering, dusting and cooking, this is women's work.
X-rated videos.
Tell her that you've binned the lot as a sign of your commitment to her. (But really hide them under the mattress.)
Yes.
The correct answer to the following questions:
Am I the best you've had?
Do you love me?
Would you love me if I had no money?
PLUS Any question she asks while she has PMS.
Zilch.
What your opinons are now worth.
rb
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