Why Santa isn't a real man

[Lace Neil Singer]

1. Real men can't wrap presents.

2. Real men can't pack a bag properly.

3. Real men wouldn't be seen dead in red velvet.

4. Real men are only interested in stockings if there's a woman in them.

And finally...

5. Being totally responsible for Christmas would require committment!


And one reason why he is a man... He shows up late, eats your food, empties his sack, comes only once and leaves before you wake up.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

And one reason why he is a man... He shows up late, eats your food, empties his sack, comes only once and leaves before you wake up.

Sounds like the last ex . . .

[Crazeyal]

Geez..

Makes a guy want to hide his chestnuts!!

[wolfie]

6. Hangs around with elves. Elves sit around sipping wine, while dwarves quaff ale. Real men would hang around with dwarves.

7. Routinely found with nine reindeer - all alive, not "head mounts" on the wall of his den.

[edible_hat]

My cousin's 6 year old daughter worked out that Santa can't be real because he drinks all the booze people leave out for him, so he'd have crashed his sleigh and died by now.

[Gawdzillers]

My cousin's 6 year old daughter worked out that Santa can't be real because he drinks all the booze people leave out for him, so he'd have crashed his sleigh and died by now.

...Booze?
I've never heard of people leaving hooch out for Santa.

[edible_hat]

...Booze?
I've never heard of people leaving hooch out for Santa.

In some parts of the world it's traditional to leave a small glass of sherry, whiskey or brandy... when I was growing up it was always beer, happened to be my dad's favourite brew too. Santa has good taste!

[Plaidman]

...Booze?
I've never heard of people leaving hooch out for Santa.

Sure they do, though for the longest time it was Koula and meth for my Santa.