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Special High Intensity Training
n order to maintain the highest levels of quality work and productivity from associates, it will be our policy to keep all associates well trained through our policy of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T). We our trying to give our associates more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your Assistant Manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our Assistant Manager's are especially skilled at making sure you get all of the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Associates who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take DEEP SHIT seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our Assistant Managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a Job teaching others. We can add your name to the BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). For associates who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.)
Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
Thank you for your time.
Sincerly,
The Directer Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.
(THE D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.)
Associates who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take DEEP SHIT seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our Assistant Managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a Job teaching others. We can add your name to the BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). For associates who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.)
Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
Thank you for your time.
Sincerly,
The Directer Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.
(THE D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.)
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