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Finland is a cold, cold place...
A recent survey highlighted the effect of different climates on peoples' habits, in an attempt to drive policy on climate change. Some of the results are outlines below:
At 15°C, Spaniards wear winter coats and gloves. By contrast, Finns are out on the beach, getting a tan.
At 10°C, Texans skid off the road en mass due to a light rain shower. Finns plant flowers in their gardens.
At 5°C, Italians find their cars won't start. Finns, on the other hand, cruise around in classic cabriolets.
0°C is the point at which distilled water freezes. This causes Americans in general to skid off the road en mass because the salt truck hasn't been yet. Finns calmly line up to have their tyres changed, and start pricing up skis for the children.
At -5°C, Californians would freeze to death. Finns say, "Ah, autumn is here," and break out the barbeque and the snowmobile catalogue.
At -10°C, Germans relax at home with their reliable central heating. Finns start wearing long sleeves. Foreign ships travel through the Baltic Sea only in the wake of the large Finnish ferries, which carve paths in the ice.
At -20°C, the sea freezes strongly enough to support a car. Finns take this as a sign to hold their final barbeque on it before winter. Then they sigh and undock the icebreaker ships to keep foreign trade moving.
At -30°C, tourists in Canada get their tongues stuck to flagpoles. Finns take their laundry indoors for drying, then jump into the nearest lake from the sauna steps.
At -40°C, plaster cracks in the cold. So does Paris. Finns stand in line at the grillikioski for hotdogs.
At -50°C, polar bears evacuate the North Pole. The Finnish Army postpones it's winter survival training exercise, because it isn't a proper winter yet.
At -60°C, penguins huddle for warmth in Antarctica. Finns stay at home to watch movies.
At -70°C, the false Santa moves south from Korvatunturi, because his kossu (Koskenkorva vodka) can no longer be kept outside. The Finnish Army goes out on winter survival training.
At -100°C, Finnish cows complain that the farmer's hands are cold.
At -200°C, Finns start saying "Perkele, it's cold outside today."
But firm evidence of climate change was discovered quite by accident, when Finland won the Eurovision Song Contest. The winners, a horror-rock band known as "Lordi", described conditions in their native habitat to be an "unseasonal" -300°C.
Yes, Hell has officially frozen over!
At 15°C, Spaniards wear winter coats and gloves. By contrast, Finns are out on the beach, getting a tan.
At 10°C, Texans skid off the road en mass due to a light rain shower. Finns plant flowers in their gardens.
At 5°C, Italians find their cars won't start. Finns, on the other hand, cruise around in classic cabriolets.
0°C is the point at which distilled water freezes. This causes Americans in general to skid off the road en mass because the salt truck hasn't been yet. Finns calmly line up to have their tyres changed, and start pricing up skis for the children.
At -5°C, Californians would freeze to death. Finns say, "Ah, autumn is here," and break out the barbeque and the snowmobile catalogue.
At -10°C, Germans relax at home with their reliable central heating. Finns start wearing long sleeves. Foreign ships travel through the Baltic Sea only in the wake of the large Finnish ferries, which carve paths in the ice.
At -20°C, the sea freezes strongly enough to support a car. Finns take this as a sign to hold their final barbeque on it before winter. Then they sigh and undock the icebreaker ships to keep foreign trade moving.
At -30°C, tourists in Canada get their tongues stuck to flagpoles. Finns take their laundry indoors for drying, then jump into the nearest lake from the sauna steps.
At -40°C, plaster cracks in the cold. So does Paris. Finns stand in line at the grillikioski for hotdogs.
At -50°C, polar bears evacuate the North Pole. The Finnish Army postpones it's winter survival training exercise, because it isn't a proper winter yet.
At -60°C, penguins huddle for warmth in Antarctica. Finns stay at home to watch movies.
At -70°C, the false Santa moves south from Korvatunturi, because his kossu (Koskenkorva vodka) can no longer be kept outside. The Finnish Army goes out on winter survival training.
At -100°C, Finnish cows complain that the farmer's hands are cold.
At -200°C, Finns start saying "Perkele, it's cold outside today."
But firm evidence of climate change was discovered quite by accident, when Finland won the Eurovision Song Contest. The winners, a horror-rock band known as "Lordi", described conditions in their native habitat to be an "unseasonal" -300°C.
Yes, Hell has officially frozen over!