If this is your first visit, be sure to
check out the FAQ by clicking the
link above. You may have to register
before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages,
select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.
Two snare drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba Dum Chshhhh
This isnt necessarily a tell-someone joke, it's something i like to do to customers. They come in and ask for rabbit ears (antennas), and I'll stop, look confused, thinking, touch my ears, and shake my head confused and say "Uhhhh....no.....HUuuuuuumaaaan."
Three old ladies sitting on a bench in a park. Suddenly, a young man rushes up to them and flashes them! The first old lady has a stroke! The second old lady has a stroke! The third old lady can't reach...
My parents bought me a dog for protection once. He was a wonderful dog. One time when I got held up, he sat and watched. He was a watchdog.
Most people name their dogs something "Fido" or "Rover". I named my dog "sex".
One day I took Sex for a walk, and he ran away from me. I spent all day looking for him. A cop came up to me and asked me "What are you doing in this alley at 3:00 in the morning?"
I told him "I'm looking for Sex". That wasn't much fun to explain to the judge.
One day I went to get a license for my dog. I told the clerk "I'd like to get a license for Sex." He said, "I'd like to have one too!"
Then I told him "But this is the dog!" The clerk told me he didn't care how she looked.
I then said "But I've had Sex since I was three years old!"
When I got divorced from my wife, we went to court for custody of the dog. I told the Judge, "Your Honor, I had Sex before we were married!" He said "So did I!"
I then told him that after we married, Sex left me. He said "Me too!"
When I told him I once had Sex on TV, he said "Show-off!" I them told the Judge it was a contest, and he said I should have sold tickets.
I also told the judge that when we got married, on our honeymoon I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for my wife, and a special room for Sex. He told me "All our rooms are for sex!"
"But you don't understand!" I said to the clerk. "Sex keeps me awake at night!" He said "Me too!"
I give up.
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily
Comment