'Nother college football joke!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

How do you keep a male University of Minnesota college football fan from masturbating?


























You paint his pecker red and white, and he'll never beat it!

HI-O!

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I AGREE

[McGoddess09]

HAHA YES!!!!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Oh, funny story time. One year when I went to state fair, there were people from the UW athletic department there with their own little display. As part of the display, they brought along Paul Bunyan's Axe.

People were having their picture taken with the thing. So I just reached out and touched it with my hand.

Then I told the UW people "I just did something no Minnesota football player has done in five years. I TOUCHED PAUL BUNYAN'S AXE!"

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

More inn light of today's result. It wasn't the 70-0 shallacking I was lusting for, but I'll take it.

How do you know a Minnesota Jaundiced Gerbils Golden Gophers fan has been in your backyard?
The garbage is gone and your dog's pregnant.

Did you hear Minnesota found a new use for sheep?
It's called wool.

What do you call a University of Minnesota football player with a Rose Bowl ring?
THIEF!

What's the difference between a Minnesota football fan and a puppy?
Eventually the puppy stops whining.
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A Michigan fan, an Ohio State Iowa fan (like Michigan and Ohio State fans would be caught dead being friendly. ) and a Minnesota fan were eating lunch on a tall bridge. The Michigan fan opened his lunchbox to find a hot dog inside. "Uggghh! A hot dog again!" the Michigan fan complained. "If I ever have to eat another hot dog for lunch, I'm going to jump right off this bridge!"

The Iowa fan opened his lunchbox and found a salad inside. He moaned "Oh no! Salad again! If I have to eat salad for lunch one more time, I'm going to jump off the bridge!"

The Minnesota fan found a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in his lunch. "Crap! PB&J again! If I get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch ever again I'll jump right off the bridge!"

The next day they all had lunch on the bridge again. Upon finding a hot dog in his lunch box, the Michigan fan jumped off the bridge to his death. The Iowa fan jumped right after him because he got salad in his lunch again. The Minnesota fan got a peanut butter and jelly sandwich again, and he too jumped off the bridge to his death.

The next day their mothers were all grieving their loss. "If only I knew he hated hot dogs, my beautiful son might still be alive" the Michigan fan's mother wailed.

"I fed my son salads because I thought they were good for him!" cried the Iowa fan's mother.

"I don't understand it," said the Minnesota fan's mom. "He always packed his own lunch."

[wolfie]

If the University of Minnesota football team played against the Toronto Maple Leafs, who would win?

Depends on what they were playing - if it's football, the Leafs would win. If it's hockey, U of Minn would win.