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  • The Greater Good

    I thought I would pass this along, since one of the dual-GMs who's running a Pathfinder campaign for my friends and I put it up. It's written from his POV, but I found some of the details to be hilarious, and figured I'd share since we have some other tabletop gamers here Names changed to protect the not-present.

    Apologies to any non-gamers reading this - it's all Orcs and Saurons and Mithrils from here on.

    So, my delightful husband has been running a Pathfinder (alternative Dungeons and Dragons) role-playing game for several sessions now. I haven't had this much fun gaming in ages.

    The name of the campaign is "The Greater Good." The stipulation for character creation is that all characters have be be good-aligned - a lot of our previous campaigns had no alignment restriction, or were evil campaigns (which can be fun, but after a while, we just felt like we needed to get a breath of fresh air and be decent people again).

    C and I (C2) will be switching out as DM - he's running the current story arc, and I'll pick up later.

    The party includes:
    -- A good witch - but still a scary witch - played by AP. She's a very pretty half-orc, with magic powers, animated hair that can grab things, and an adorable familiar - a compsognathus, named "Tickle Monster," or "Mr. Tickles" for short. Think Helena Bonham Carter's character in Pirates of the Caribbean. Her hobbies include helping people in need, ending slavery, and making people really uncomfortable.

    -- A gun-totin elven priest, played by AB. In between healing the party, and providing distinguished commentary, his hobbies include using his massive firearm to distribute explodey-ness at a distance, dispensing frontier justice, and rolling his eyes at the uncouth behavior of some of the party.

    -- A humanoid gorilla ninja (Um.... I mean, "traveling merchant") played by Yours Truly, whose hobbies include "doing the dirty work necessary to make sure decent folks can sleep safely at night," assassinating evil slavers, and flirting shamelessley with the witch. And the dwarf. But not the paladin. He felt guilty after he tried that on the paladin.

    -- A surly gay dwarf, played by my husband, who is currently employed by the same folks as the ninjarilla, to investigate a brutal wage-slaver. He keeps meticulous notes, and shoots people in the face with arrows. Yes. A gay dwarf archer, with a sideline as an accountant.

    -- The best paladin I have ever, ever, seen played by anyone - played by KhirasHY. He'd almost be a caricature of a Dudley Do-Right character except he's for real, he's dead serious, and he's literally a beacon of light to us all.

    There's a lot of humor in this game - we're all pretty hysterical people - but not to the point of it being goofy. Our characters are each driven by their own senses of right and wrong, and even engage in ethical and moral discussions with one another - all while rescuing children, fighting werewolves, combating slavery, investigating corporate abuse, and preparing towns for major land-wars.

    It's fun to be one of the good guys again.
    The campaign really has been one of the most enjoyable that I've been involved with in years. He's serious about that whole "beacon of light" thing too...my Pally found a glowing, magic axe in a dungeon and really liked it. Upon returning to town, he enchanted his warhammer, armor, and shield to all glow the same way, which means he's a walking ball of light. The character has, apparently, not dwelt on how that affects his stealthiness, but this character also once offered to attack an entire evil stronghold on his own if the party didn't want to come along.

    Edit: I forgot to mention, the Pally is also currently wearing a Hat of Disguise out of necessity so we don't all get murdered by the evil army nearby. The running joke the last session was how often it would get knocked off, filling the area with a sudden, blinding light without warning. Somehow, it only was a bad thing once...the rest of the time, we got an attack bonus since the things that saw us hated bright lights.

    The best part? My own hubby constantly gets annoyed with how much of a troll I am. Playing this character, he literally can't say "be good" to me, or "behave", since for once doing the RIGHT thing is the perfect way to troll the party

    I'm amazed I haven't gotten us all killed yet...but I did kill 30 skeletons in 1 turn with an energy burst. That was fun...
    Last edited by KhirasHY; 05-07-2013, 05:45 AM.
    "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
    "What IS fun to fight through?"
    "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

  • #2
    Quoth KhirasHY View Post
    The Greater Good
    The Greater Good. </creepy chorus>
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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    • #3
      Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
      The Greater Good. </creepy chorus>
      That is EXACTLY why we call the campaign that
      "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
      "What IS fun to fight through?"
      "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

      Comment


      • #4
        I have never played anything but CN. I honestly don't know what I would do if I was forced to play another class. I'm very comfortable there. And while other players complain, none of my GMs have ever disliked how I play CN. Which is basically totally Chaotic. It's hilarious!

        But This sounds like a fun campaign. I bet it will be a blast for your group.
        Hinakiba777- Student of Divinity-Always trying to get laid.

        Annoying student=I pay tuition here so I pay your salary!
        Desk Worker=I pay tuition here, too. So I guess I pay myself.

        Comment


        • #5
          I usually go for more neutral characters as well...I'm pretty much CN myself most of the time, so playing a LG character is a real culture shock...but I'm loving it. In fact, I'd say I'm having more fun acting in a way that's completely out of character for me as a person than I ever had acting the way I normally do in a party.

          I remembered something else that was funny too:

          Our current adventure was to sneak into a city that is about to defect from a LG country led by a Paladin over to a LE country that has been trying to conquer the continent for some time. We snuck in (which is why I had to have the Hat of Disguise, to cover up my shininess), and went to the general store...which is right next to the temple of the LE god, Asmodan. My character was standing in the window, glaring at the temple...when one of the Halflings that ran the shop knocked the hat off, filling the entire store with light, and sending a beam of white light through the window at the temple.

          My character said only one word: "SOON!"

          That ended play for about 5 minutes until the other players could breath again, and get the hat back on my character.
          "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
          "What IS fun to fight through?"
          "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

          Comment


          • #6
            This is why I need to get my friends 'Mot' and 'Sam' and Sam's gf Nami to do some RPG or something. We're naturally snarky and wise-asses, and we'd have a lot of fun with this kind of thing.

            There was a time when we were planning on doing a web-series about a cadre of supervillains ("The Inner Circle of E.V.I.L."), and while we were brainstorming on it, Sam and I just started riffing in character, I as the villainous "Doctor Pain" and Sam portraying various prospective members being questioned. The best was when he was doing this weird quasi-Indian (as in "Thank you, come again!") accent, who main reason for wanting to join E.V.I.L. was to get revenge on the Girl Scouts who didn't give him the cookies he wanted.

            J2K: (in-character) "Make a note, hire those Girl Scouts."
            Sam: (in-character) "Oh, come on!"
            J2K: (IC) "What? They took your money and didn't give you want you wanted. That's evil."

            Runner-up to that was when "Doctor Pain" twisted Mot's (as the villainous "Damn Big") finger.

            Mot: (IC) "I'm going to kill you while you sleep."
            J2K: (IC) "That might worry me-- IF I SLEPT! ...because Evil never sleeps..."
            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

            Comment


            • #7
              Sometime I should tell you about our last evil party in Pathfinder What started out as a simple dungeon crawl turned horrible. For instance, we lured an entire village into their (pre-desecrated) church, murdered them, and re-animated them all into zombies...then sent them in a random direction and relinquished control. They managed to wipe out several towns before they were killed.

              We also manipulated the government into destroying two cities, tore open the fabric of reality and let Outsiders in, and managed to both kill a dragon and turn it undead as Tiamat was dragging it to safety, earning her endless enmity.

              And that's the MINOR stuff we did.
              "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
              "What IS fun to fight through?"
              "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

              Comment


              • #8
                My old Shadowrun group only outdid their in-character antics with their out-of-character antics. Though the in-character antics primarily resulted from abysmal stupidity. Well, the first half, when I ran the game, was typical abysmal stupidity. The second half, when Alex (the long-running Decker) took over, was partially due to players sabotaging each other for personal gain or amusement. The rest was Alex's penchant for declaring some statements that were meant as OOC to actually have been IC, basically whenever he found it entertaining.

                There's a reason my old game logs for this group are titled "Team 4chan".

                Quick clarification: "Lone Star" are Shadowrun's cops-for-hire. Deckers are hackers, and Riggers are drivers and can hack robots.

                Memorable quotes include:

                (all from New Decker, Levi, now that Alex is the GM)
                "Shoot him! SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD! SHOOT HIM YOU STUPID S***!"

                "I call you. To console you. You dumb s***."

                "It's the internet. S*** happens."

                (to the mage) "Yeah. It's great that you can use your powers to pass out and almost die. Do drugs sometime."

                "I'm gonna be moving at the speed of f***ing internet."

                "I'm the Internet Boss, and I need some internet backup. You can be my sexy assistant."

                "Lone Star doesn't do tech support. I tried."


                Decker: "Did you just call Lone Star?"
                Mage: "...Yes?"
                Decker: "YOU DUMB S***"

                Rigger: "What's sign language for 's***'? I'll just use 'children'."


                I can share more as I find old game notes. I'm particularly looking out for the scene that resulted in the rigger tackling the decker out of his chair and dry-humping him while screaming Evangelion quotes. Out-of-character, by the way.
                Last edited by KabeRinnaul; 05-08-2013, 06:08 AM.
                » Horse Words «·» Roleplaying Stuff «

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                • #9
                  I can't remember many funny quotes, but I keep coming up with more great situations from various games

                  In the Evil Party I talked about before, we went into a town, and one of the characters (the most "reasonable" of us, a Gnoll ranger) instructed the rest of the party to "keep a low profile." Not 5 minutes later, he bought a whore, murdered her in his room, stuffed her in an armoire, and threw her off the roof of the inn into the crowded marketplace, starting a riot. The town burned down as we left.

                  In another game called Aberrant, I made a hyper-dexterity super hero who had a bad habit of pulverizing enemies on accident, due to also having unreasonable amounts of strength. Every time I tried to subdue someone, it would result in a spray of gore that would, invariably, end up all over my partner's character. It happened so often, I started to do it on purpose.

                  Likewise, with my current Paladin, he has splattered gore over the "ninjarilla" in almost every fight, mainly because said character always stands far too close to the Paladin. Meanwhile, I wear Mithril armor, and gore just slides right off, so I look clean. I also have 23 charisma as a base score, so I look fantastic even while blood is on me.

                  I once was told to "stop" someone, meaning "grapple them down." This was not specified, so I stopped them by beating them to death with my warhammer. In my Paladin's defense, the guy was a CE slave owner...

                  The Paladin also engaged in an Intimidate match against a Kobold "king" who was actually fairly dangerous, with a Humanbane weapon. After I hit the guy once, the GM grinned evilly at me, said "Now you get to find out what a Humanbane weapon does to you!" He then promptly rolled a 1, dropped his weapon, and died before being able to pick it back up. Whoops.
                  "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
                  "What IS fun to fight through?"
                  "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The mage's player just informed me of a session I hadn't attended.

                    The Job
                    Kill someone, and make it look like an accident.

                    How it Went Down
                    The Adept (basically, they use magic to enhance their physical abilities - kind of D&D monks, but with more variety) and the Mage perform a lengthy covert job to sneak their way into the target's office. Meanwhile, the Rigger is on standby outside, using armed drones to both keep an eye on things and keep some heavy firepower in the air in case of emergency. The Mage and Adept discover that the target is, in fact, in the office, and only now start planning how to handle the actual kill. The rigger contacts them over the team's radios.

                    Rigger: "So, he's in that room with you guys, right?"
                    Mage: "Yes."
                    Rigger: "Cool."

                    The rigger brings his drones around and fires a salvo of rockets into the windows, destroying the entire office, severely injuring both of the other Runners, and reducing the target to a burnt corpse.

                    The Adept picks himself up, goes over to the charred body of their "make it look like an accident" target, and decapitates the guy, apparently just to be sure, then throws his head out the gaping hole that used to be the window. After what must have been some deliberation, they throw his body out there as well.

                    Adept: "We'll just say he committed suicide."

                    I have no words.
                    Last edited by KabeRinnaul; 05-08-2013, 08:33 AM.
                    » Horse Words «·» Roleplaying Stuff «

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                    • #11
                      Necromancing this thread because I just had to share this...

                      So on another forum, I'm part of a Shadowrun campaign, which is actually using the FATE system for character building, and just using the SR setting. The GM basically said it was going to be "Shadowrun + Fast & Furious + FATE = Anime As Fuck." And he included a video of a Ken Block gymkhana in the OP just to inspire us. He ended up getting so many apps that he had to create two separate campaigns. The first is running amok in Eurasia, stealing tanks, nanotech, and storming a military compound, in between epic benders.

                      The second campaign-- the one I'm in-- is in Seattle/Oregon area, and at first featured:

                      - Niña Mágica Cozamalotl: Rogue Aztechnology Mascot
                      - Ke$ha://NEXT: Laser Slinging Technomancer
                      - Deis Roara: Synthetic Scion of Swords, Skids, and...Cybernets
                      - K'irk: Reckless Reptilian Romancer
                      - Nameless Jack: Amnesiac Street-Racing Cyber-Ronin
                      - Whitney Sandoval: Acrobatic Aquatic Elven Resource Reallocator

                      The first stage of our game was basically all of us split into three teams to escort something from Seattle to Tir Tairngire (Elfland Oregon). After arrival, we all basically get conscripted into a new Tairngire Defense Force thing (despite the fact that only one of the team is an elf), but retire to an old summer home that Coza had to get wasted.

                      The following morning, amid hangovers and shit, Coza gets a job offer from Horizon to basically get her rich lifestyle back, and gets to screw over Aztechnology in the process. Ke$ha isn't happy (Horizon basically turned her into a pop star with an autotune vocal implant and tried to control her, which she doesn't like), and Whitney and K'irk both dropped out at this point.

                      So it's Deis, Jack, Ke$ha and Coza going to a film shoot on the coastline. Jack is being grumpy because that's his nature, Deis is being mopey because he's about 95% synthetic (and has no dick anymore), Ke$ha is barely suppressing the urge to laser everything to death, and Coza is trying to put on a happy face...

                      ...which is when a shrill-voiced, over-the-top director interrupts everything, orders them about, and INSTANTLY gets on everyone's bad side to the point where they're already deciding how to ruin his life.

                      Cue Jack comm'ing the group:

                      "Hey, Ke$ha, you got any of that mix of yours left? We could get him fucked up and give him all kinds of embarrassing facial tattoos and spam the Matrix with humiliating videos of what he did while on his Epic Bender."

                      (Said mix being some super-narcotic that Ke$ha had whipped up. Intense stuff, and you wake up the next day with no memory of the night before.)

                      Ke$ha's response:

                      "Eheheheheh, eheheheheh, eheheheheheeheeeee YES!"

                      This is gonna be fuuuun.
                      PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                      There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I still remember a one-off game at uni where it was basically Space Hulk with Inquisitor rules.
                        The party was made of one inquisitor (with heavy armour and big weapons), two storm troopers (as inquisitor) and one space marine (in this game, pretty much a man-sized tank) and me. I was a drunken gunslinger with laspistols (fairly weak weapon), light armour and several bottles of whisky.
                        Ended up getting bored during the plot exploration of the other party members and wandered off to see what I could steal from the area. I got mugged by a genestealer (four armed alien that could tear through sheet steel), nearly got disembowelled before I shot it and "sterilised" the wound by pouring one of the bottles of whisky over the bandage. I then drank the other, managed not to pass out and rapidly staggered back to the party - with more genestealers following.
                        Everyone assumed I was dead at this point, but due to some extremely lucky rolls I picked off three of the enemies with clean headshots (I think it took in the high nineties on a D100 to hit, then similar to wound and penetrate the armour), then arrived back at the group, leaking blood like a sieve and screaming "Game over man! Game over!" before passing out. At this point I was grabbed by the marine, dumped across his shoulder and carried back to the shuttle whilst unconscious.

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