I keep picturing my grandfather on the bathroom floor

[Food Lady]

Last night my uncle found him passed out and put him back to bed. My uncle was really sick with the flu, and probably thought grandpa had it too, so didn't call the hospital. Uncle had to go lay down because he was weak and fell asleep. He woke up and called my mom--don't remember why; I'm fuzzy on the details now--and she told him to check for signs of stroke. Uncle called her back saying he thought he was dead, and she told him to call 911. Well, Grandpa's gone, and we won't know until Tuesday the exact cause of death, but Mom thinks it was a heart attack, as he had a hole in his heart. To top it off, my aunt is blaming my uncle for not doing more. All she does is complain about family members. Mom has to go to FL from CA to deal with all this, and does not want to referee her siblings.
I didn't know my grandpa terribly well, and there is good reason my mom kept my brother and I away from him. But I've become a bit more sad since my conversation with my mom. (It's been about 4 hours.) He wasn't part of my life, so I won't really feel he's missing, but I guess I'm sad at the fact that he wasn't, and that my mom blames herself, though she was only trying to protect her children. *sigh* Life is hard.

[mathnerd]

Huge hugs. That's a lot of conflicting emotions to deal with. I can sort of understand some of it. I wasn't terribly close to either of my grandmothers, and both of my grandfathers had passed before I was born. I honestly felt nothing when my father's mother died, and felt relief when my mother's mother died. I felt guilty both times.

I will keep you in my thoughts.

[Food Lady]

Thank you. And I was the same as you when my paternal grandma died. She was mean to me. I didn't hate her, but just had no relationship with her.

[Pixilated]

Food Lady, I'm so sorry for your situation. That is tough. Take care of yourself. *hugs*

[csquared]

You have my deepest sympathies. I was much the same way when my grandfather passed away. I grew up half way across the country from him. Hardly ever saw him. My older sisters grew up with him. It hit them hard.

to both you and your Mom.

[sms001]

I was in roughly the same position with my maternal grandparents. It's a sad feeling for a different reason - not the direct loss, but the loss of what-could-have-been. I'm glad your mom made what seems to be the right choice, and that you're heads-up enough to realize it, too.

My condolences.

[MoonCat]

Sorry to hear that. It sounds like an emotional see-saw. I hope your uncle's going to be ok, and your aunt realizes that sometimes things happen that aren't anybody's fault.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

So sorry.

[protege]

*hugs*
I was never really close with my paternal grandparents. Some of it was because Grandma and my mother didn't get along. Some of it...was because they never really paid much attention to their only grandchildren. They weren't rude or mean to us, but we rarely heard from them growing up. Grandpa died in 2001, and Grandma is pretty much a recluse now. I rarely hear from her, and she never comes over.

Compare that with my mother's parents...and it was vastly different. They would drop whatever it was they were doing, just to say hello. They'd spend weekends at our house, let us spend weeks at their place during the summer, and were genuinely interested in watching us grow up. No wonder then were most of us in tears when Grandpa died in '89, and Grandma in 2010.

[Tanasi]

My Mom's oldest sister passed in a similar manner. When Mom couldn't get her on the phone she went looking and found her in the bathroom floor but hungup on her walker. While I didn't directly see her I was told it wasn't the way she would have wanted to be remembered.
My paternal grandfather passed before I was born, my paternal grandmother passed when I was 4 and lived across the street from us. Since I was the closest I was the favorite (or so I've been told.) I honestly don't remember much of her except we watched her stories everyday and she loved to feed me Brach's Cinnamon Red Hot Candies.
I was close to my maternal grandparents especially my beloved and sainted Mammaw. Never has there been a finer lady, I miss her everyday. My Pappaw as I've come to learn was an odd man. He didn't trust anyone nor did anyone trust him. While he was always nice to me I found out that he was just plain mean to others especially his kids and wife. It just makes me wonder if his attitude toward me and my brother was genuine or just a show. Regardless I have some good memories of the man.

FL my condolences on your GFs passing.

[Seraph]

Food Lady, I'll be praying for you and your family. My sincerest sympathies...if you need to talk or anything, I'm a PM away.

[Food Lady]

Thanks, honey. I'm really ok. Not really affected much, but of course my mom and her siblings are.