Is this a 'what' or a 'who' ...

[Pixilated]

Anybody out there know anything about a house that's heavily saturated with cigarette smoke ... I swear, there are times when I get whiffs of what smells like fresh cigarette smoke, as if somebody, somewhere, is smoking a cig in the house ...

Is this smoke residue that's oozing out of the walls? Or is my deceased father wandering through the house, trailing cigarette smoke after him ...?? (Mom was an equally heavy smoker but she's still alive ...)

[MoonCat]

Well, I wouldn't put it past him; my mom's been gone for 7 years and more than once I swear I've smelled cig smoke...with the windows closed and nobody out next door (they smoke).

But other than that---yes, the smell will linger in the walls, carpeting, drapes, etc. Even if they've been washed. The headboard of my mom's bed reeked of cig smoke because she used to mostly smoke in the bedroom (not while in bed thank god). After she was gone I tried washing the headboard several times and could still smell the cigs.

Carpeting and upholstery might need professional cleaning to get rid of the smell. If the walls can't be washed, they may need to be painted over. That's the only thing that worked when I moved into my mom's old bedroom in our old house.

[Blue Ginger]

If the walls are wallpapered, the cigarette smoke can stay in that for years. The only way to get rid of it is to get rid of the paper.

Even if you paint the walls, wash them a few times first. Sugar Soap works well, but any decent paint place/person can suggest products that will be safe for your particular walls. Hell, even a damp cloth could help. You need to get the surface of the walls, cornice and ceiling free from the tar, nicotine, tobacco and other nasty residue. Then paint. Otherwise the residue will still be there and may seep through.

With the curtains and carpets, if they are old, it will probably be easier to just replace them. If you can't at the moment, try using a heavy duty steam cleaner. Or hire someone that does this. Hell, some dry cleaners do curtains.

If you have lace/nets, just put them in the washing machine in a pillow case on the gentlest wash it has. We normally use a small amount of wool wash with them. Then a few drops of white vinegar in the rinse cycle (it makes them whiter and helps get smells out).

Hope some of this helps. I'm allergic to cigarette smoke, so I know lots of ways to get rid of it.

[BlaqueKatt]

Also when's the last time the ductwork was cleaned? heating/cooling ducts harbor all sorts of nastiness.

[Pixilated]

Thanks for the suggestions, guys. Some of those are pretty extensive and there's no way I can do them, short of winning the lottery, LOL. I'd like to get the house a dose or two of that "ozone" treatment (or whatever it is) but that for sure is outside anything I can afford.

Blue Ginger, what is Sugar Soap? I've never heard of it.

Hmm, the ductwork ... good question, BlaqueKatt. I have no idea.

MoonCat, brother has mused about the feasibility of getting the place professionally cleaned before we put it on the market. Ultimately we will have the weigh the cost of that against what additional money (if any) we will get for the house if it's done. It may turn out that it's ultimately better to sell "as is." My Hometown is a very badly depressed area right now (although I've noticed several houses for sale on this street -- one of which is the ugliest box I've seen in a long time, and IT sold.)

There's a pretty set of net/lace curtains in the one bedroom ... they are GREY. They are supposed to be SNOW WHITE. I've gotten the name of a good dry-cleaner and will take them in as soon as I can. I don't know if I want to risk them in the washing machine, even in a pillowcase (they're also pretty big). (You should see the venetian blinds on this same window ... they are absolutely gag-inducing: there's a sticky brown residue on the slats, some of which has obviously run at some point due to humidity/moisture in the house ... )

Brother advised me that any attempt to steam-clean the carpet would probably cause it to disintegrate. There's a wooden floor underneath, but apparently you can't just rip up carpeting and voila! You now have a gorgeous wooden floor! (Who knew??) The process of "de-carpeting" is apparently a little more complex than that. So I'm trying to stick to vacuuming, although if I get fed up enough, I may try steam-cleaning on a spot that doesn't show ...

[Seshat]

To make a pretty wooden floor does take a lot of work. Ripping up carpetting is definitely a job for SAFETY GLASSES - carpet nails are everywhere - around the edges, and in places in the middle of the carpet. They're small, thin nails, but they are long enough to go through the carpet and into the wood below. And sharp. And dangerous to eyes.

Once you've removed the carpet, underlay and all the nails, you then have to take a hammer and a nail punch and make sure all the nails holding the wooden boards in place are a good several mm below the surface of the floorboard. Because you're going to be sanding the boards with a heavy duty sander.

And you nail down any loose boards. Repair any old or damaged boards. Or replace them. If there's a big gap between two boards, figure out something to do about it.

And you take putty to every single crack in the floorboards. Preferably after one or two goes round with the sander, so you can mix the putty with the wood dust, making it the same colour as the floorboards.

Don't forget to sand the dried putty back.

Once the whole floor is nicely smoothed, stain it. Then laquer it. Multiple layers of laquer. And it all has to be dry before the next coat is on.

NOW you have a good wooden floor....

[Sapphire Silk]

With that many issues, odds are it will greatly affect the price of the house unless you mask the odor. The place will probably be attractive to flippers who will low ball you on the price. It depends on how desperate you are to sell.

Get some plug in air fresheners and put them in every single room. Pick a homey smell like cinnamon rather than a fruity or floral smell. That will probably fit your budget. Also, a carpet powder that you can vacuum up might help, along with washing the walls.

The other suggestions are good ones, but you don't want to put more into the house than you will recoup, especially if Mom owes any debts that have to be paid or still owes a mortgage.

That's what the seller of the house I have now did. I didn't smell the cig smell until the air fresheners were depleted. It took several tries with steam cleaning the carpets, and also repainting the walls in most of the house to get rid of the smell . . . and I could still get a whiff of it when I pulled the carpet in the living room a couple of months ago to lay down new laminate.

I have a china cabinet that belonged to my mother; my parents were heavy smokers. It still smells a bit of cigarettes in spite of the fact my parents quit smoking 20 years ago. That might give you a hint as to how long the odor can stick around. I doubt dry cleaning will help the curtains, but I suppose it's worth a go.

[Pixilated]

Seshat: all I can say is Yeah, that is NOT a job for me!! If I somehow suddenly acquire a stash of cash, I would seriously consider buying the place myself and then I'd get professionals in to do the honours to the floors -- especially since I'd have to remove the cats (and myself) while they were working (particularly the varnish! The little kitty print paws on the floor would be a nuisance but then of course they'd lick their paws ...)

Sapphire Silk: Mom owes nothing on the house (thank goodness) and had few, if any, other debts (why no, I did not inherit her fiscal responsibility ... but I'm working on it, LOL) And unless we went the route of having the house professionally cleaned, Bro would likely not try to hide its history. (He also mentioned that many people would consider cats in the house a good reason to try to negotiate a lower price ... )

I'm wondering now if I should try washing the net curtains myself before taking them to the dry cleaners ... I would if I could hang them outside, but alas, the one thing this house does NOT have is a clothesline.

[Blue Ginger]

Ok so Sugar Soap is this: http://www.selleys.com.au/diy-painti...ces/sugar-soap
Not sure which part of the world you live in, but there are probably similar products outside of Oz. You heavily dilute it. I think I used 1 cap to 2 or 3 litres of water. You NEED to wear gloves while using this and probably similar products.
If your walls are really bad, treat it like washing really dirty dishes, use a small amount of water and change often.
I recently had to wash down large areas of wall. I used one of these: http://www.vileda.com.au/au/products...hotspot_id=884 Yes, I know it is a mop, but it covers a big area without to much effort involved. Basically after 5 minutes of trying to wash a wall by hand, I was ready to scream like a SC. The cloth part comes off easy, so you can do part of the wall, take it off, rinse it in bucket or under the tap, squeeze it out, put it back on and do the next bit of the wall. Then throw it in the washing machine. It was fucking brilliant.

Does the house have a bathtub or a big laundry sink? You can wash the lace nets in one of those. If they are grey, you will need to soak them for a while first, changing the water a few times too. The vinegar trick works best when you can dry them in the sun.

Just tie some white rope between 2 points and boom! instant clothes line. Things like a tree and the fence, the fence and the garage or corner of the house. Hell, you can even tie it from one fence to the other to create a triangle.

With the carpet, maybe try some of the shake on, vacuum off powder cleaners. I know here there are ones designed for large areas.

[the_std]

The North American version of Sugar Soap is TSP. It's pretty harsh stuff, but nothing cleans walls like it. I just finished painting every wall in my new house, one of which was used for hotboxing pot every day, and TSP removed all of the rez and smells in one go.

[houdini]

We bought a house where the previous owner had smoked, and simply ripped everything (carpets, curtains, fittings, wallpaper) out - but it was one of the things that we knew we'd have to do when we bought it. It did mean we went for a lower price, but also the entire place needed redecorating so the owner was fairly philosophical about it. Smoke smell does not mean you have to put up with the usual stack of creepy-ass hagglers!

[cinema guy]

Or is my deceased father wandering through the house, trailing cigarette smoke after him ...??

My girlfriend has similar thoughts about her dad whenever she smells smoke in her living room.

[Ashcroft]

Let the text wall, BEGIN! Sorry, but as a student clean-freak, I have a lot of cheap tips.

I know a handy trick to cheaply clean lace curtains and any metals that have encrusted filth; denture tablets! Fold the curtains neatly, and ensure they can fit in a basin of water with plenty of clearance, and plop in a few tablets. The effervescence loosens any dust or dirt without harming the materials. Repeat as needed.
Another great way to clean silverware/brass/what have you is steeping them in hot (not much point in it being boiling, but it wouldn't do harm) water with either vinegar, or the much more pleasant smelling lemon juice for about 15 min. Take them out and towel dry.
To get a really nice 'just polished' look, without much effort, use very fine steel wool, a little lasts for ages and you get it in giant balls. The finer the better, and it leaves metal shining.

Also, lemon juice, baking soda and vinegar are the home-care trifecta.

Baking soda can be sprinkled over carpets as a cheap scent/moisture absorber, and because it's a fine, scentless powder it can be used as a paste with water to clean down worktops, metals, ceramics and plastics. I'm sure you're all aware how great it is at cleansing scents and moisture from a room.

Lemons are amazing at de-greasing anything. Cut in half, place in a small bowel of water, in your microwave. The humidity will soften any debris and hard grease, and the lemon juice/oil will seep into the water; which you can then use to clean the microwave!Pretty good for ovens too.... but I've not done it often.

Use white vinegar to clean glassware and nuke limescale. A page of your standard broadsheet newspaper with a little vinegar cleans windows to an effortless, streak-free shine. Using it in the bathroom means you can destroy surface limescale. Might take a bit of elbow-grease on tougher limescale, but it's effective! Don't leave it for long on chrome, though, as it can damage the appearance. Always rinse will with clean water after using vinegar to remove any residue. It's handy to empty a large amount in the cistern, leave it sit for a little while, and then flush, you'll be disgusted what grime it picks up :P

Vinegar is really harsh, and should only be used neat on metals, ceramics and glass, and you really have to rinse well after. Do not use it on wood , epoxy/varnish or plastics as it can cause discolouration.

[BlaqueKatt]

<in depth explanation of how to redo a wood floor>

how on earth do you know all this stuff?

Seriously, I thought I knew a lot of random, semi useful stuff, but damn!

[laborcat]

how on earth do you know all this stuff?

Seriously, I thought I knew a lot of random, semi useful stuff, but damn!

I've come to the conclusion that Seshat knows EVERYTHING.