The 80s may be coming back. How do we meet this threat?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

The parachute pants I can deal with, it's the damn leg warmers I never could understand.

For someone like me with large calves and no ankles to speak of, those only made them look 100% larger!

Still have an early 80's electric typerwriter, my 70's Fisher stereo system and am dusting off my old stories to finish up finally (and they take place around 1982-1984.)

For some of us, the 80's never completely left.

[Jester]

STOP IT BEFORE IT GETS TO THE CHILDREN!!!

[gremcint]

Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

[MoonCat]

What about "fountain heads"? That's what my sisters and I called the 80's trend of teen girls getting their hair curled and pulling them up into a ponytail that was more or less on the top of their heads.

As for neon, it's a big trend right now. Even in beads. I shop for beads online and there's a lot of neon ones now.

[EricKei]

*spontaneously grows an epic mullet by sheer force of will*

Coooooooooommmmmmmmmme------ joooooooin uuuuuuuuusssssssss...

[Aethian]

So yeah, if a return to 80s fashion means the final death knoll of the pants-around-the-ass craze, welcome back!

And finding jeans that actually cover the rear rather then being those hard as hell to wear low riders?

[XCashier]

Reminds me of a conversation I once had with a younger coworker. She was deriding everything about the 80s, the music, movies and fashion. Me being a child of the 80s, of course I was on the defensive.

CW: And those clothes! Neon, acid wash, what were you thinking?
ME: Say what you want about the 80s fashions, but at least our pants covered our butts!
NEARBY CUSTOMER:

So yeah, if a return to 80s fashion means the final death knoll of the pants-around-the-ass craze, welcome back!

[ShinyGreenApple]

I too, would like to know how we can combat this. A friend of mine from SC posted a picture of some men's shorts she spotted shopping this weekend. Pastel pinks and blues. Just horrible.

[Dasota]

Rush in the 90's fashion. That's what I'm doing to battle the comeback of the 80's

[Antisocial_Worker]

Ladies and gentlemen, I've called you to this thread today to discuss a grave threat to our nation's standards of fashion and aesthetics. Yes, as we have long feared, it appears that the 1980's may, indeed, be coming back.

I base this statement on three separate sightings on a local college campus. The first was a young man wearing parachute pants, one leg of which was checkered in black and white, and the other of which had vertical black and white stripes. This young man had an expensive haircut and was visibly homosexual. He gave off shades of hipster, but did not appear to be wearing the pants ironically. He seemed to actually believe they looked good.

The second sighting was of a young black woman wearing acid-washed jeans. Like the young man, she too had an expensive haircut, and was wearing expensive jewelry and a nice blouse. The jeans were not worn ironically, and she gave off not even the merest whiff of hipster. She too apparently believed the jeans looked stylish.

The third sighting concerned an outbreak of women's flats in neon colors, following, quite literally, in the footsteps of the unfortunate trend of neon colors in men's shoes. The last time shoes like this were seen, it was on the late 80's/early 90's television show Saved by the Bell.

This can only mean that the infection has spread far faster and more widely than even our worst long-range forecasts predicted. We've had reports of 80's fashions sighted in New York and Los Angeles, as expected, but to see them in a remote corner of Appalachia this early may mean that the battle is already lost. We may be seeing the start of a global pandemic, and it may only be a matter of time before we see the return of big hair, feathered bangs, mullets, and a re-infiltration of shoulder pads into women's fashion. Our gravest fear is the return of the fanny pack.

But, my friends, is all hope lost? I say no! I say we can stand and fight! Together, we can face this threat and quash it! But we must plan, and we must strategize. We faced the return of the 70's, and endured years of bell bottomed jeans, but we overcame. We have faced the rise of the hipsters and the deluge of irony, but we are overcoming. Surely we can meet this new threat head-on.

But how, ladies and gentlemen? How?