We're Making Progress

[blas]

A little late in posting, forgive me.

If anyone isn't aware, my little brother has a daughter with a girl he very briefly dated. Long story short, as soon as she found out she was pregnant, SHE (read that carefully.....SHE SHE SHE SHE SHE SHE...get it, SHE!!) ran off back to where she'd been living before and back to her ex boyfriend, the previous one before my brother. While she was pregnant, that guy got sent to the slammer.

Anyway, eventually after the baby is born, my brother gets subpeonaed for the DNA test, around Christmas we found out that the baby is his. So, I'm an aunt. I have a freaking adorable niece. YAY!

But, and wouldn't this always be the case with an upstanding, squeaky clean young guy like my brother......the awful girl won't let him have much for visitation except on her say-so, and my brother has been just a little pushover and putting off getting a lawyer for himself.

But we were able to FINALLY get an overnight with the baby this past weekend. Finally, after months of only seeing her once a month for only a couple of hours at a time.

We're making progress.

[Akasa]

Sheesh. Does brother not have the funds for a lawyer, or is he just like warm about seeing the baby? I would think if he really wanted to see the baby more often he would get a lawyer and fight for visitation.

[taxguykarl]

I would think if he really wanted to see the baby more often he would get a lawyer and fight for visitation.

and reasonable child support. IANAL, but he's on the hook at least 'til the kid is 18.

[KellyHabersham]

and reasonable child support. IANAL, but he's on the hook at least 'til the kid is 18.

I think too, that if you're going to file for child support, you have to do it before the kid is 18......saying this because I've debated on whether or not to try to file for support from my daughter's father.

[AnaKhouri]

He needs to lawyer up NOW and get a custody agreement in writing as well as court-ordered child support. If he has the documentation to show he has been paying child support, she can't legally keep him from seeing his daughter (in the state where my brother lives, at least- I'm not sure if this is a federal law or not).

She might be playing nice now but I know this type (my brother has 4 children with 3 women, all of this type) and she's going to turn on a dime back into crazy bitch. It doesn't matter if she freaks out and throws a tantrum because he's sooooo mean to get a lawyer. Once that's in place she has to abide by any custody agreement and that's set in stone, not subject to her whims.

[blas]

Oh no, she hasn't been playing nice at all. The little and few visits we do get are always on her time and her say-so, despite his huge child support. I don't know why there wasn't court ordered custody...but I'm not too knowledgable in this sort of thing.

He needs a lawyer and he knows it. I'm not sure why he doesn't go for it stronger, but time is of the essence.

[wolfie]

Has paternity been proven? If not, he needs to be tested NOW! IANAL, but I've heard about cases where the guy wasn't the father, but acted as if he were (supporting the child, visiting with it, etc.). When later proven to not be the father, his actions were taken to be an acceptance of the child as his - and as a result, he wound up on the hook to support the kid even though it wasn't his.

[Marmalady]

Yes indeed, I've heard of that before, in this country - a man married a woman who already had a child from a previous relationship, and they also had a child together. When she left him, he was pursued for support for both children, because he was deemed to have accepted her eldest daughter as a child of the marriage. IANAL, but I think the term they use is 'recognize' - if you give that child equal status with your own biological children, then you are held to have 'recognized' them as your own.

[dawnfire]

I hope that child support amount is court ordered if not it can be considered a "gift" and child support be backdated to birth or when parentage was established.

[blas]

Yes, paternity has already been established. He was tested in late October and we found out around Christmas time, and henceforth, that's when the child support came.

Because little broad moved nearly 4 hours away, it makes everything just that much more complicated, along with the fact that my little brother isn't a problem solver like I am. Despite being the smarter child, he's more of the type to just hope and pray things work out or hope for the best, and I'm the one with such bad anxiety that my brain is always "Solve it solve it fix it before it might get worse!"

[Jester]

Oh no, she hasn't been playing nice at all. The little and few visits we do get are always on her time and her say-so, despite his huge child support. I don't know why there wasn't court ordered custody...but I'm not too knowledgable in this sort of thing.

He needs a lawyer and he knows it. I'm not sure why he doesn't go for it stronger, but time is of the essence.

A friend of mine recently went through an ugly divorce, and there was a child involved. He is paying child support, but his ex was playing fast and loose with visitation, making the visits rare or nonexistent, and totally fucking with my friend's ability to see their son. When my friend's lawyer brought this to the court, the judge absolutely slammed the hammer down on her, and made it abundantly clear that restricting my friend's access to his child was not acceptable. My friend has no criminal or violent history, nor any kind of sex or drug crime on his record or in his history, so the only reason she was being so ridiculous about visitations was to be petty. The court told her in no uncertainty terms that that shit ended immediately.

Your brother needs to go to the court with this bullshit. Any decent judge will bring the hammer down on her head the way it happened in my friend's case.

[taxguykarl]

I don't know why there wasn't court ordered custody...but I'm not too knowledgable in this sort of thing.

My guess would be that there was. The ploy is called 'sewer service' (used extensively by debt buyers) and she received a default judgment. For his sake, I hope I'm wrong as getting these types of cases re-opened is difficult and expensive.