What do you regret?

[NecessaryCatharsis]

My aunt sent out a group email in preparation for my 17 year old cousin moving to Germany for two years this summer, asking all the 'older and wiser' (really?) family members to send her their biggest regrets in hopes of my cousin using this as life advice at this time when phone calls and visits with family will be almost impossible. The problem is I am not sure what regrets I could send to help with her. The only two I can really think of are:

1. waiting so many years before seeking proper medical care so that I could I live my life well
2. deciding that I couldn't afford to see both NIN and Nirvana in 1993. I put up both sets of tickets for sale, and whichever didn't sell I would go to the other one. I saw NIN, which was great, and planned to see Nirvana at a later time. I'm still kicking myself about this, twenty some years later.

Since she doesn't have any medical concerns that I know of, and since she can't learn clairvoyance through advice, I don't see this as particularly helpful. The thing is I have done innumerable shit-stupid things that have ended with me in hospital, before a judge or both, I'm just not sure I regret any of them. If I had to do it again, I would do it better, but the only reason I know what better would be is because I did such stupid things originally. Even with what happened with my husband, if I could go back and change the ending I would every time, but I feel I did the best I could with what I had and I'm not sure that counts as regret.

So, what would be on your regret list that might serve as life advice for a 17 year old girl moving to a foreign country?

[Sunshine]

I regret settling down so young and not traveling more. She has me beat on that but I'd say to her to travel even more. Get a euro pass (?) and go to the surrounding countries if she can. Just have the best experience she can.

[Kittish]

Most of my regrets, if they could really be called that, center around being young and stupid, and they're all little stuff, nothing life changing. Probably the one that stands out most is, I would have kept my D&D books. They'd be worth a few thousand bucks now.

Thing is, young and stupid is a phase all of us go through, and you kind of have to, to learn. I'm really not sure I'd change anything if I could, because that would possibly change where I am now, and I'm pretty content with how things are working out right now.

[Akasa]

I regret staying in an abusive relationship until he almost killed me.

[XCashier]

I regret not going on to University and getting a better degree.

I regret not getting some sort of guidance so I could figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

I regret getting lazy and gaining a lot of weight.

I regret letting people walk all over me for the sake of "being nice". You don't have to be a bitch, but learn to set limits and say no when you need to.

I'm sure there are loads more, and I'll post them if I think of them.

[Food Lady]

I sometimes regret walking out of a potential relationship because I knew he was looking for a wife. I still miss him. I just wasn't ready. But it makes me sad. That said, I've got things happening now that wouldn't be if I were still with him.

[Victory Sabre]

The only thing that I might regret is when I was 22 and this HOT 18 year old expressed interest in me. I thought it was a prank, because she was so HOT. It wasn't a prank, she really liked me, and I blew her off. I did get to apologise, but she wasn't single anymore at that point.

[gremcint]

There are different choices about traveling more or hanging on to things that became valuable but honestly, it's my diet I could have staved off a lot of health problems had I been better as a kid but I just didn't care and now I'm fighting an uphill battle to lose weight.

[Seshat]

I think I would suggest this:

* Look after your body and mind. You only get one of each.

* Feed your mind well. Whether you feed it in experiences, art (including music), knowledge, or activities is your choice; but feed it well.

* Live for today, plan for the future. With both time and money, spend some of it on your now, and some of it for the future.
Your money 'for the future' can be in appreciating assets, savings, or investments. Preferably - when it's affordable - all of the above.
Your time 'for the future' is spent in developing skills and knowledges that will enrich your life later on. Some of this might be obtaining certifications, some on developing skill/knowledge that enhances your talents, or which will just plain be fun.

* Listen to other people, even when it's stuff you disagree with or don't want to know. Later on, when you're alone, there'll be time to process it.
Act on advice only after you've thought about it.
Believe knowledge only after you've researched it. Yes, this means a lot of things will be in your mind as 'tentatively true'. But that's better than believing things true which aren't.
When things are true which you wish were not, accept it. Better to change a bad world than to live in a false reality.


.... I think that's plenty for a 17 year old.

[cindybubbles]

Be patient with your lab partner, especially if he or she is your friend outside of class. Don't ditch them at the last minute. Also if said friend is taking the same course, but in a different class, don't hook up with them; just stick with your classmates, and never yell or scream or get your mom involved. I didn't follow that advice, and now this friend is my ex-friend.

[bhskittykatt]

I regret staying at a dead-end job for eight years and not having the courage to get out sooner.

Also, as much as I love my husband, I do in a way regret moving away from home to move in with him as early as we did and consequently having to drop out of college because I couldn't afford both a roof over my head and tuition. Taking it slower and taking care of my own life first would have probably been smarter. I'm making it work, but it definitely set me back a few years career-wise.

[Greenday]

I regret not learning to stop procrastinating until I was 22. My grades would have been a ton better in college.

Not finding the motivation to do...anything. I still regret it as I still have no motivation to get shit done.

[ADeMartino]

I deeply regret my time in the military. I got to see some amazing things and places, but the personal cost of my enlistment was heavy indeed, and looking back, I think I'd have been happier had I remained a civilian. The people and things I left behind weren't there when my enlistment was up.

[MoonCat]

If there's something that you are passionate about, and you really want to do it but it could be risky in terms of failing at it, GO FOR IT ANYWAY. Never let anybody else decide whether your dreams are do-able.

[Antisocial_Worker]

I regret wasting about 10 years of my life before going back to school to do what I needed to do with life.