Blast from the Past.

[Jester]

Been doing some overdue cleaning and organizing, and came across a sign I had made up for a previous chili cookoff, the one that not only saw my first outright win, but also the one that was the debut of my Devil's Ass Chili, which I designed specifically to hurt the inhuman pepper heads for whom nothing is spicy enough. The sign reads:

Devil's Ass Chili

This chili is HOT!!! Made with a large variety
of spicy peppers, including a stupid amount of
habaneros and ghost peppers. Eating this
would be a really bad idea. Just walk away.

Can't say I didn't warn 'em.

[Jester]

And....just found the accompanying sign:

Fire Relief

If you made the mistake of trying the Devil's
Ass Chili, and you need some relief, have some
of this key lime jalapeno cream cheese dip.

Don't be fooled by the jalapeño element in it....that really was cooling in the mouth. A "remedy" sold by the local hot sauce store.

[firecat88]

The chili frightens me, but that cheese dip sounds amazing.

[dalesys]

Don't be fooled by the jalapeño element in it....that really was cooling in the mouth. A "remedy" sold by the local hot sauce store.

Don't forget the Scotch Bonnet Butt Creme.

"Oh LORD, For what what we are about to receive, let us be grateful."

[Jester]

The chili frightens me, but that cheese dip sounds amazing.

It's pretty tasty. They sell the powdered spice mix, which you then mix with cream cheese, if I remember correctly. You can order it online, I'm sure. Right here!

[mathnerd]

And here's where I whine about no longer being close enough to eat the products of Jester's cooking. Not that I could eat the chili, but something tells me he could take my already pretty darned good white chili recipe and make it something out of this world.

[Jester]

Or I could make you my white chili. Although, if I remember correctly, you don't care for seafood, so the clams, oysters, and mussels that make my white chili so tasty would probably be lost on you.

As for your white chili, who says I can't work some magic on it from several states away? Send me your recipe, and I'll send you some suggestions. If any are even needed. Your recipe might be just fine the way it is.

[lordlundar]

Don't be fooled by the jalapeño element in it....that really was cooling in the mouth. A "remedy" sold by the local hot sauce store.

I would imagine after having your chili, anything short of molten lava would have been soothing.

[darkroxas45]

Oh now it couldn't have been that hot *eats some chili and blasts off to the dark side of mars* lol

[Geek King]

My former roommate once made a chili so hot that the Cambodian exchange student complimented him.

The idea of tasting Cambodian food now terrifies me.

[Dreamstalker]

Or I could make you my white chili. Although, if I remember correctly, you don't care for seafood, so the clams, oysters, and mussels that make my white chili so tasty would probably be lost on you.

Seafood white chili? I must have some. Now.

ASM's wife is Nepali, and while he loves spicy food, even he won't eat some of what she cooks. I am intrigued.

[Jester]

I would imagine after having your chili, anything short of molten lava would have been soothing.

My signature chili is a lovely sweet, smoky, decently spicy chili. Nothing that would blow your brain out, though.

My Devil's Ass chili, on the other hand....

When I first premiered it at a local chili cookoff, one older gentleman came by and got a sample, despite the signs and my suggestions to the contrary. A little while later, the gentleman came back, approached me, and very politely said, "Sir, with all due respect....fuck you." That's when I knew for certain I had achieve my goal.

For those who are wondering, I do not use any hot sauces, extracts, or pure capsaicin in the Devil's Ass. I certainly could, but to me, that would be cheating. I achieve my level of spice using only standard dry spices and peppers: garlic, black pepper, white pepper, red pepper, cayenne pepper, chili powder, cumin, red bell peppers, poblanos, with seeds, jalapeños, with seeds, serranos, with seeds, chipotles, with seeds, habaneros, with seeds, and ghost peppers. With seeds.

What? I told you this shit was evil.

[Moirae]

lol. Oh man. That's a stomach ache waiting to happen.

[Ceir]

Sounds like my kinda chili! And the cream cheese dip would be fantastic, methinks...

[Cia]

The white chili sounds good although I'm not quite sure mussels are even eatable.