I need sentences!

[Parrothead]

Specifically, the opening lines to books, either real or fake, good or bad.
To start:

"Call me Ismael."

"The unicorn lived in a lilac wood, and she lived all alone."

"The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault."

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."

Hit me!

[Tama]

The drought had lasted now for ten million years, and the reign of the terrible lizards had long since ended.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

So I was minding my business and eating some undercooked chicken when....

[Ceir]

"The greatest hero of Hyborian times was not a Hyborian but a barbarian, Conan the Cimmerian, about whom whole cycles of legend revolve."

[gremcint]

it was the best of times it was the blurst of times.

[Kittish]

Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.

Though, you could make the argument that the actual opening line is:

The house stood on a slight rise just on the edge of the village.

[Marmalady]

I sing of arms and the man, he who, exiled by fate, first came from the coast of Troy to Italy, and to Lavinian shores

[Gilhelmi]

So said Prophesier, so it has passed. One Age ends, One Age begins. Will this be a quiet passing in the night, or will the birth pains kill the mother Earth?

[Kit-Ginevra]

I let out a squeal-'What on earth are you doing in my bath with the rubber duck?'.
He replied 'I'm from the Ministry'.

[BlaqueKatt]

"Benny Imura couldn't hold a job, so he took to killing."
Rot and Ruin, Jonathan Mayberry

(I so want to copy the first two paragraphs, it makes it even MORE compelling)


also:

"A weakened sun dawned feebly in the eastern sky, its golden rays trapped by ominous grey clouds."
Bone-quest for the spark, Tom Sniegoski


"During an interval in the Melvinski trial in the large building of the Law Courts the members and public prosecutor met in Ivan Egorovich Shebek's private room, where the conversation turned on the celebrated Krasovski case."
The death of Ivan Ilych, Leo Tolstoy

"In the country of Westphalia, in the castle of the most noble Baron of Thunder-ten-tronckh, lived a youth whom Nature had endowed with a most sweet disposition."
Candide, Voltaire

[gremcint]

alright you asked for it:

I heard the mailman approach my office door, half an hour earlier than usual.
I never used to keep track of the phases of the moon.
There are reasons I hate to drive fast.
It rained toads the day the White Council came to town.
Some things just aren't meant to go together
The building was on fire and it wasn't my fault.
On the whole we're a murderous race.

I'll get the rest later if noone else does

[2gigch1]

The music-room in the Governor’s House at Port Mahon, a tall, handsome, pillared octagon, was filled with the triumphant first movement of Locatelli’s C major quartet.

[taxguykarl]

Someone must have been telling lies about Josef K., he knew he had done nothing wrong but, one morning, he was arrested.

[dalesys]

While digesting Reader's Digest, in the back of the dirty-book store...

[shanarocks]

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.