If you were gonna change your name...

[Tama]

I kept my maiden name.

Taking his last name would give me the name of a famous actress and while I have no problems with that, I do NOT want the jokes about how "your name is (insert her name)... just like (insert her name), lol!"

[DGoddessChardonnay]

If a name shortens into decent nicknames, then I'd consider that an exception. And my advice is mostly because I've read those "bad baby name" sites before and you always have to wonder what little "Princess Diamonds Jones" is going to do when she grows up and it's time to pick a career. I mean, sure, some of those names work for little kids, but they don't grow with the kid.

Not to mention how do they age along with the person? Try to imagine reading an obit in the local paper on some woman in her 80's with the name Allizon or Pryncezz or Genesis . . . . yeah.

Most names I'm seeing in the paper ni that section are along the lines of Mary, Hattie, Gertrude, John, Matthew, Phillip, et al. You know, the common names (I guess parents back in the decades of the 1920s - 50's didn't go much for the unique or unusual. )

For me, I never was too keen on my first name . . . which the way it's spelled could be easily a boy's name (add an ie and it's the girl's version) and my middle name is hopelessly common (probably one of the most used middle names of the 60's and or 70's.) Mom's explanation for my name is pretty simple: there was nobody on either her side or Dad's she wanted to name me after.

Which I can understand. My maternal grandmother's name was Bertha Ida (blech ) Her sisters were Anne Whillemina and Mary Elaine.

Dad's sisters were all with common names: Shirley, Nancy, Carol, Judy (which if you replace one letter in her name, that's my first name,) Benita, Sharon, Linda . . . yeah. Boring as Hell.

If I could change my name, my first pick would have been Lynda Josephine but that name's been given years ago to one of the sisters I write about. (And no, I couldn't imagine my name being Brenda Marie Antoinette, either. Can't recall how I came up with the two middle names but Brenda Lee Thompson was a close friend in elementary school and one of the biggest tomboys you ever wanted to meet.)

But yeah, parents need to put a lot of thought into what names they give their children . . . that Allyzon might sound cute when they are small but when they are adults out in the working world, it may not sound so good. Much less how it looks on a Medicare card.

Just sayin' . . .

[Seshat]

Since it's a thread about name changes I have a question, I was wondering would it be in bad taste or would it be considered disrespectful to not change my last name when I get married?

It depends on the culture you live in.

In my culture: not at all. You take his name, he takes your name, you hypenate, you take each other's surname as an additional middle name, you choose and/or create a new surname ... whatever works for the pair of you.

I will say one thing, however. Hyphenated names are a bitch to live with. I grew up as Surname1-Surname2, and I hated it.
One of the kids at school decided my given name had to really be GivenNameSurname1, with Surname2 as my actual surname. I have no idea how she came up with that.
Other than that, it was just excrutiatingly long and annoying.


Ask your families and friends. Then do whatever you choose - but you'll be informed when you make the choice.

[laborcat]

Since it's a thread about name changes I have a question, I was wondering would it be in bad taste or would it be considered disrespectful to not change my last name when I get married?

I didn't. I'm glad, too, because now we're getting divorced. I told him, that my father's name was good enough for the first 21 years of my life, I'll reconsider in another 21 years. We fell short a year of that.

[Zellie Crescent]

I'm gonna talk it over with him, nothing's set in stone yet and we don't want to rush anything.

[Kit-Ginevra]

Dad's sisters were all with common names: Shirley, Nancy, Carol, Judy (which if you replace one letter in her name, that's my first name,)

Got it....you are Rudy

[Javarod]

Finally checking out this thread, and I think my reply might've gotten a bit out of hand...

From time to time, I half-heartedly considered changing my name. At this point in my life, though, it's almost an identity.

I don't necessarily really care for my first or middle name, but I have no idea what I'd change it to.

So, just for fun, what would you change your name to? You don't have to divulge your current name, just what you'd change it to.

Dunno ifn I'd bother to change mine, my current one is nicely anonymous thank you. That said, for my porn writing, my pen name is Jack Laurii, an obscure short for my real first name combined with my mom's maiden name.

My rule of thumb for naming my kids (and my advice for anyone who asks me for advice on picking names for their babies) is that if you really want to give your child a "kreativ spellyng" name or something equally "out there," make sure you give your child a second name that's a little more "common" so they have a fall-back. Mostly because what person wants to reach adulthood only to find that they're constantly getting odd looks for being named "Princess" or "Dimyndz" or something similar and either have no middle name at all, or their middle name is similarly "out there."

I like to use uncommon shorts, while my real name is Joseph for example, I go by Seph everywhere, and used to go by Jack. An adult story I'm working has a character name iLisa. Originally I was going to use Ilsa (yes, inspired by those movies), but wanted something different, and this popped into my head. According to a baby name site, its short for Elizabeth, at least if capitalized properly as Ilisa.

If I'd been named Seph from the beginning, I doubt anyone would've questioned it ifn I claimed that my real name was Joseph, right? That way my parents could be creative and maybe a bit exotic, without being weird.

I got tagged with BOTH of the most common female names for the year I was born- Jennifer Michelle. I detest the name Jenny, and will not answer to it. People who know me call me either Jennifer or Jen, or Kit.

Don't really think I'd change my name at this point, though as a kid I desperately wanted to.

My sister is a Jennifer, and she used to, and sometimes still does go by Jenna

My son will probably end up correcting people, too. We gave him not only an unusual name, but we changed the spelling by one letter. He also has my wife's maiden name as his middle name, which is not something he could really choose to go by.

Ooo, I like that idea, I've got a thing for saving the maternal lineage, so I like that. My middle name is my father's first name, while his is his father's middle name, which is actually what his father goes by (my grandfather is Jean Bradley, but everyone calls him Bradley except my grandmother). Not sure why for those two generations they did that, its certainly not something the family normally does.

At work I have about 3 different nicknames so yeah, I pretty much answer to anything.

I've commented at work that you can call me anything you want, just don't call me late to dinner.

if I were going to choose a different name, it'd probably be my musician alias, Dr. Phineas J. Optigan. Not sure why I chose Phineas or the middle initial J. (possibly short for Jeremiah), but the rest of it should be quasi-obvious to anyone who's seen my site.
-Adam

There's someone, can't remember if its a person or a character, who has a middle initial that doesn't stand for anything actually. You could of course be silly and tell them the J is silent.

Since it's a thread about name changes I have a question, I was wondering would it be in bad taste or would it be considered disrespectful to not change my last name when I get married?

I don't see why not, though that's a very personal decision. Me personally, I like to see the maternal name kept, but I'll admit that I've been poking my were to take my name since we got married.

She also considered hyphenating, but her hyphenated name would have been one character too long to fit into the computer systems for Drivers Licenses and such where we live.

Just make them change the system

Some women keep their name, others change to their husband's name, and still others change it to a hyphenated name.

I think generally licenses are structured to force the wife to take the husband's name, though with the legalization of gay marriage I expect that'll change. In my writing about marriage, my suggestion was that the license should have Primary and Secondary non-gender specific sections where the Secondary takes the Primary's name, so a man could easily take his woman's name if he chose (want me to get started about the terms husband or wife, or polygamy?).

[morgana]

The 'saving the maternal' idea also influenced my thoughts on the matter.

I've quite seriously considered changing my name to Morgan Leona Strong.

'Morgan' as an alternate to Morgana, which my friends have called me for the last thirty years.

'Strong' because I am. I've had to be.

'Leona' was my mother's middle name. My father's first name was Leo . . .

[Ironclad Alibi]

My first name is my father's twin's name. He died in infancy. My middle name is my father's name. My parents denied naming me after the two of them, but I don't believe them.

[mjr]

'Morgan' as an alternate to Morgana, which my friends have called me for the last thirty years.
.

And so you won't be mistaken for the kissing bandit of the same name...

[Kit-Ginevra]

There's someone, can't remember if its a person or a character, who has a middle initial that doesn't stand for anything actually. You could of course be silly and tell them the J is silent.

Are you thinking of Harry S. Truman?
There's also J.K.Rowling-the K. doesn't stand for anything,but when she was first publishing she was told initials would be better than a female name,so she took her grandmother Kathleen's K. as a middle initial

[mjr]

Are you thinking of Harry S. Truman?

Yep, it's Harry Truman.

And there's a controversy as to whether or not to use the period after the S, since it doesn't really stand for anything. It's just an initial.

http://www.trumanlibrary.org/speriod.htm

[Sliceanddice]

Got it....you are Rudy

Nope it's Jude! Or July

Also lets not forget homer j. Simpson, his middle name is jay

I decided when I was 12 I would always have my last name. I actually like it despite how often it's messed up. If I ever meet a girl I actually want to date sleep with and have a long term/forever relationship with with marriage and all that I'll discuss it with her but unless she has a freaking amazing last name I think we would be Mrs. sliceand Dice and Mrs. mystery woman.

[Bardmaiden]

Another Jennifer usually Jenny (mum used to call me by my full name when I was in trouble ) also go by Jen, J, JJ or anything else my sister comes up with I will also answer to Colette which is my identical twins name.

Rather like my name but if I had to I'd go by my middle name.

[bhskittykatt]

When I was seven I made a huge scene about being called by my nickname rather than my full name. When I started high school, I felt I needed a new identity and shortened it again. I thought about shortening it further when starting college but by the time I got there I decided I was happy with what I had.

I am changing back to my maiden name post-divorce. It was a hassle to change it the first time. I am going to change it back (maiden name is unique, married name is 3rd most common surname in the country) and that is IT! If I remarry, I am hyphenating at most because a total name change is so much of a headache!