Goodbye my Friend and the love of my life

[Teysa]

I am so sorry, Racket Man.

[Kheldarson]

I'm so sorry, RM. Prayers and thoughts for you and yours.

[XCashier]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Food Lady]

Oh, I am so, so sorry! We're here for you.

[OneMoreTime]

I am so sorry, my deepest sympathy to you and your family.

[EricKei]

May she rest in peace. v_v

[Racket_Man]

Thank you all for the kind words especially Irv.

This came out of the blue. According to the available research/literature this is not the way it should have ended.

she was "normal" (normal for the stage of the disease she was in) up until late Friday night.

She got what we thought was a stomach bug Friday night (ie. something that is apparently going around here throwing up EVERYTHING from the past 12 hours), real sleepy, rapid heart rate and rapid shallow breathing. The hospice nurses had us give her some meds to combat the nausea, high heart rate and to calm her down so she could breath easier.

The nurse came to see her on Sat. afternoon with a few recommendations especially after she stopped vomiting. but there was little improvement. GF would not or could not drink or eat much of anything.

After I came home from work on Sat Night/Sunday morning, GF's daughter (co-caretaker) was there. GF became les responsive to us. More med given. Nurse comes out again. about 30 minutes after the nurse got there GF breathing "calmed down" a bit but as the nurse was listening to GF's heart it just stopped. and I mean stopped.

GF's sister had just arrived when this happened so GF was surrounded by those who loved her the most.


I spent most the Sunday burning up cell phone minutes calling my family (siblings and my daughter) and GF's former co-workers (the "lifers she used to work with who still are there at my pizza place).

Not a good place to be right now. It hurts real bad. I am taking Monday off of work.

at the moment I am alone in the house not knowing what is to come after the service.

Since things happened the way they did there are now possibilities that are open that were not before.

TIme will tell

[El Pollo Guerrera]

I am so sorry for your loss, my deepest condolences to you and her family and friends.

[Crossbow]

I am so sorry, Racket_Man. You and her family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Lady Legira]

*hugs*

Though it doesn't feel like it now the grief will lessen and the pain hurt less. It will still hurt at unexpected times but time does heal. It may take years (it has done for me) but the heart heals not all the way there will always be a part missing but you learn to live with it.

I've been there, I lost my husband in 2009. Treasure each memory and remember the joyful times.

[April]

I am so sorry

[Mikkel]

I'm sorry. That it was so unexpected must make it much worse for her nearest.

[ApolloSZ]

When in the end when we are gone, we live on with our loved ones as a legacy of memories.
It will hurt for a time. Take comfort in those memories, help her live on, and don't let the sadness drag you down. I may only be a random from somewhere across the world, but I do offer my condolences, and a shoulder if ever needed. Sorry for your loss.

[Sapphire Silk]

Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis.
Te decet hymnus, Deus, in Sion,
et tibi reddetur votum in Jerusalem.
Exaudi orationem meam,
ad te omnis care veniet.
Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis.

Eternal rest give unto them, O Lord
And let perpetual light shine upon them
A hymn, O God, becometh Thee in Zion
And a vow shall be paid to thee in Jerusalem
Hear my prayer
All flesh shall come before you.
Eternal rest give unto them, O Lord
And let perpetual light shine upon them

Thank you all for the kind words especially Irv.

This came out of the blue. According to the available research/literature this is not the way it should have ended.

she was "normal" (normal for the stage of the disease she was in) up until late Friday night.

She got what we thought was a stomach bug Friday night (ie. something that is apparently going around here throwing up EVERYTHING from the past 12 hours), real sleepy, rapid heart rate and rapid shallow breathing. The hospice nurses had us give her some meds to combat the nausea, high heart rate and to calm her down so she could breath easier.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

My experience in hospice is, the patient decides when to let go. She got this stomach bug and decided it was time. The vomiting probably led to electrolyte disturbances that created a cardiac event, if you want to understand what happened in pathophysiological basis.

This is exactly how my mother passed away last October. We'd had her in assisted living for four years with Alzheimers and she'd done amazingly well, But the previous Christmas we could tell she no longer knew who we were. The following May I visited her, and she was actually afraid of me at first. I put her at ease by eating lunch with her and telling her funny stories about Taz. She was laughing when I left her and that's how I'll always remember her.

I got the call from my brother out of the blue. Mom had gotten a stomach bug and thrown up and had some diarrhea but otherwise seemed fine. The nurse did'nt think she needed to go to the hospital but made an appointment for the doctor to see her the next morning. When they went to wake Mom up, she was gone.

I apologize if I seem to be making this about me. The point is, Mom went when she wanted, peacefully. The people who cared for her really did care and took great care of her. I wish I could have been there like you were there for your GF. That's my one regret.

Your girl friend was a remarkable lady. How do I know this? Because of the people who surrounded her in her final moments. She was with people who loved her and cared for her. She passed on surrounded by love. I can think of no better gift you could have given her, and she had to be one hell of a gal.

Surround yourself by people who know you and knew her and explore her life together as you grieve. Don't let yourself get isolated when the funeral is over and everyone else "moves on" (God I hate that trite phrase).

The hospice should offer some kind of bereavement service. It should be free to you. Ask her nurse about it and take advantage of it. It will help.

[Food Lady]

SS, thank you for translating that.