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A chap I know, hereafter known as Scallywag for privacy reasons, decided to try Internet dating some time ago. His impressions quickly became that it was hard work, thanks to all the chaps who send dickpics and lewd suggestions instead of serenading the damsels with wit and literary prowess.
However, out of the blue he received an unsolicited communication from a fair maiden who lives in London. Scallywag lives in a similar geographic area to me and London is not that close, especially when he had set his search criteria to 'close by'. However, not really getting anywhere up till this point, he decided to give it a try.
He spent a few days in London and shared a few hours with said lady on each of three days on his first trip. Nothing physical, but things went well. She was of Croatian origin and had that Eastern European gene pool that made things a little exotic, but not too much so. For Scallywag, this was a good thing, and whilst she was on the quiet side, he began to feel drawn to her.
On his next trip to the capital, he'd arranged to visit the British Museum. They'd spent the odd happy hour here before, staring at dead people in glass cases (mummies in the Egypt section) and enjoying themselves, but there was a forthcoming exhibition that Scallywag wanted to see that was the travelling collection of antiquities of Herculaneum and Pompeii. He inveigled a date in which they would take in this spectacle.
Said damsel wasn't as keen, but had sufficient curiosity for said exhibit, so off they went on his next trip. Scallywag had failed to take into account the ancient roman tendency to produce artifacts that amused schoolboys.
The fragrant maiden had a quizzical expression when looking at an item from a certain angle, which when seen properly made her blink - it was a tallywhacker in full engorged mode with several bells hanging from it. That was a surprise to say the least.
However, then they rounded a corner.
There was a statue.
Pan. Half human, half goat.
In vivid delecto flagrante.
With a she-goat.
Scallywag reports that he is not good at gauging the expressions of goats, but it really did not look consensual.
Never saw her again. "Just a friend" message came through.
So, share your tales of dates that went wrong.
Rapscallion
However, out of the blue he received an unsolicited communication from a fair maiden who lives in London. Scallywag lives in a similar geographic area to me and London is not that close, especially when he had set his search criteria to 'close by'. However, not really getting anywhere up till this point, he decided to give it a try.
He spent a few days in London and shared a few hours with said lady on each of three days on his first trip. Nothing physical, but things went well. She was of Croatian origin and had that Eastern European gene pool that made things a little exotic, but not too much so. For Scallywag, this was a good thing, and whilst she was on the quiet side, he began to feel drawn to her.
On his next trip to the capital, he'd arranged to visit the British Museum. They'd spent the odd happy hour here before, staring at dead people in glass cases (mummies in the Egypt section) and enjoying themselves, but there was a forthcoming exhibition that Scallywag wanted to see that was the travelling collection of antiquities of Herculaneum and Pompeii. He inveigled a date in which they would take in this spectacle.
Said damsel wasn't as keen, but had sufficient curiosity for said exhibit, so off they went on his next trip. Scallywag had failed to take into account the ancient roman tendency to produce artifacts that amused schoolboys.
The fragrant maiden had a quizzical expression when looking at an item from a certain angle, which when seen properly made her blink - it was a tallywhacker in full engorged mode with several bells hanging from it. That was a surprise to say the least.
However, then they rounded a corner.
There was a statue.
Pan. Half human, half goat.
In vivid delecto flagrante.
With a she-goat.
Scallywag reports that he is not good at gauging the expressions of goats, but it really did not look consensual.
Never saw her again. "Just a friend" message came through.
So, share your tales of dates that went wrong.
Rapscallion
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