Your perfect company

[Deserted]

I just thought of this one. Name some attributes of your perfect company. (Note that I don't mean things specific to your company. For example, several of the below don't apply to Big Green Cab Co.)

My starting list:

• Owners/stockholders make good business decisions and don't just let sheer greed determine everything.
• Management gets bonuses based on lower-level employees getting bonuses.
• If finances are so bad that layoffs are the answer, then nobody in management gets bonuses.
• Upper management salaries are limited to a low multiple of entry-level employees. (Ben & Jerry's used to do this; the limit was 5x the lowest wages.)
• Related to that, employees are paid what they're worth.
• Deliberately hiring far more employees than is necessary to cover all shifts/do all necessary work is grounds for immediate retraining/demotion/termination.
• Ditto deliberately remaining understaffed.
• Long-term temps are prohibited. If they're worth keeping, hire them!
• Supplies are available before they're needed, in adequate amounts, without having to do a complicated paperwork song-and-dance requesting them.
• Mismanagement results in punishing the managers, not their underlings.
• Managers support their employees and back them up.
• Promises are kept. Promises that can't be kept aren't made.

I could go on (and on and on and on) but I want to see what you guys come up with.

[mjr]

This is a great idea. I'd probably have to think about it. I can probably come up with something...

I may need to bookmark this thread for the next time the company I currently work for asks for "anonymous" input...

Gimme some time to think about this...it's a great discussion.

[Seanette]

Employees are NOT required to take abuse from customers, and managers will NOT countermand employees who are following company policy.

[Deserted]

Just thought of a few more...

• Management remembers that employees are people, not robots.
• The customer is not always right. If they are wrong, they are gently corrected in the manner that least displeases everyone.
• The company recognizes that you can't please everyone all the time. Displeased customers are directed to companies that will do what they want (if such are known); displeased employees are worked with to correct the problem(s), if possible.

[mjr]

Owners/stockholders make good business decisions and don't just let sheer greed determine everything.

You'd probably have to change laws for something like this to happen. If I understand correctly (and I could be VERY wrong here), if a company is "publicly traded", that company is beholden to a stock price.

Management gets bonuses based on lower-level employees getting bonuses.

I like this idea. I'm not sure how practical it is, though. But I don't know what I'd think if the shoe were on the other foot, and I was a manager or business owner.

If finances are so bad that layoffs are the answer, then nobody in management gets bonuses.

I hate it, but on occasion layoffs are necessary. But I get what you're saying here. I'd take it farther, though, in two ways:

1. You can't misuse a program like the H1B, you can't have "domestic" workers train their "foreign" replacements.

2. Management must also present ideas to prevent future layoffs.

Related to that, employees are paid what they're worth.

I get what you're saying here. But who makes that decision? I'd guess "the market". But then again, people complain that "market value" isn't what people are "worth" in some industries or in some positions.

Deliberately hiring far more employees than is necessary to cover all shifts/do all necessary work is grounds for immediate retraining/demotion/termination.

Far more, I'd agree. But you have to make sure you have enough people so that employees can have days off, vacation, sick time, etc. without being short-staffed.

Long-term temps are prohibited. If they're worth keeping, hire them!

Agreed, here.

Supplies are available before they're needed, in adequate amounts, without having to do a complicated paperwork song-and-dance requesting them.

Agreed. Though this is usually presented as a "cost saving" measure. Jump through hoops to save the money it costs for another 48 count box of pens...

Mismanagement results in punishing the managers, not their underlings.

Hmmm...I'm curious of your thoughts here. What is "mismanagement"? What's it look like? Most employees think that their management is incompetent from time to time. Heck, some people (like Scott Adams of Dilbert fame) have made a living from that premise.

Promises are kept. Promises that can't be kept aren't made.

I can agree for the most part, here. Although sometimes unforeseen circumstances cause promises to be broken. Not saying it's right, though.

[NecessaryCatharsis]

My employer is actually pretty good, but based on things I'd change:

Everybody who has responsibility has the power to enforce it. ie if I am in charge of h&s, and get in trouble for guys not wearing Ppe etc, I am allowed to write up, send home or suspend workers who aren't wearing
Tasks are assigned with a task priority schedule
Customer policies are either enforced or employees are allowed to hand off problem customers to the person who is capable of using discretion in breaking policy

Probably more to come at some point

[Deserted]

As I said, "perfect" company.

[XCashier]

Since everyone else brought up the personnel stuff, I'll bring up some of the peripherals.

The company building is in good repair, even floors, vermin-free, no leaks or cracks anywhere.

Everything works the way it should, from the computer programs to the heating/AC and plumbing.

The parking lot is in good repair, no potholes, well-painted and spaced lines and plenty of shaded parking. A good parking garage would be even better.

Close early the day before major holidays, and remain closed until the day after the holiday.

[notalwaysright]

Hum, interesting. I guess I'll go broad. This is of course, hypothetical and probably pretty darn close to impossible. But hey, it's a nice dream!


All policies (customer, employee, everyone) are clearly defined and enforced fairly from the CEO to the cleaning crew. Nobody gets preferential treatment because they graduated from the same school as the hiring manager, nobody gets to bypass the helpdesk ticket system because they're friends with the IT guy. I really like consistency, can you tell?

Employees are not pressured to "move up" or take on responsibilities. If a person wants to say in a low-level position they are left alone.

Whatever the company is, quality is more important than quantity. Growth is not the entire goal of the company. Of course some growth is good, but the point of this perfect company is not to be the biggest, it's to be the best.

[EricKei]

If I understand correctly (and I could be VERY wrong here), if a company is "publicly traded", that company is beholden to a stock price.

Actually, it's kinda the opposite. Artificially controlling the stock price is a major no-no. While the investors might expect, or even demand, that a certain stock price be maintained, if the company fails to do so, their primary method of doing something about it is to speak with their wallets -- either by selling stock normally (before the price drops too much) or by selling short (which is when you count on the price dropping).

Short selling is when you sell stock you don't actually own (generally borrowed from a broker, with interest/dividends), and buying it back at some point in the future, hoping that the price has gone down in the meantime. Note that short selling is not actually illegal, it's just a huge risk. If the price goes up, the short seller is forced to buy it back at the higher rate, and can lose a shit-ton of money. The lender can also force the short-seller to buy it back at pretty much any time.

[Deserted]

Ooh, ooh, I thought of another one:

• Don't Be Evil... and actually stick to it! (Not necessarily a jab at the big G, but more along the lines of, "You don't make money by pissing off your customers!")

[XCashier]

Ooh, ooh, I thought of another one:

• Don't Be Evil... and actually stick to it! (Not necessarily a jab at the big G, but more along the lines of, "You don't make money by pissing off your customers!")

The link doesn't work.

[Deserted]

The link doesn't work.

Derp. Fixed.

[MoonCat]

-- Employees are given the capability and authority to make changes on customer's ads rather than passing this task along to admin people.
-- Employees are allowed to offer credit/refunds, with a limit (I'd say maybe $200 or less).
-- Employees are trusted and respected, treated like professionals, and not talked down to.

Really, it all comes down to being treated with respect, especially by new managers who've never worked in this industry before; and being trained to do simple things that involve our website instead of having to give this task to someone else.

[Sakka]

If you are expected to take responsibility for something, you will actually have the powers to do the job properly.

Use of excessive scented products in a building/room without proper/sufficent ventilation will be punishable by having the offender in a small room with a scent that they absolutely hate.

Further training will be available for those that want it. Training will not be 'You're a bright one, you figure it out.' while the customer/boss is breathing down your neck.