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Probably never getting a house (long and whiny)

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  • Probably never getting a house (long and whiny)

    Eleven years ago I had 2 loans, 2 credit cards and accompanying costs (storage fees, parking tickets and 407 fees from the car that one of the loans was for, cleaning and damage fees from a rental that the other loan was for) from an ex boyfriend who gave his new girlfriend my details and used her to open credit in my name. It took me years and cost me thousands to get that all cleared up. Add that into my habit until that time of paying utilities late, and having no credit history myself, and it was a major undertaking.

    When my husband died I was working 12 hours a week, he was basically supporting the household, and our son was too young to enter into a registered daycare, so another hit as I went into debt with everyone (landlord, utilities) for four months until I started working again. I also acquired a couple debts from him that I didn't know about, so they ballooned a bit before I found about and was able to pay them, and I couldn't prove if they were genuine or not, since I didn't even know him when they were taken out, which took a couple more years of my credit acquiring life.

    Last year I got a call from a creditor from Rogers (phone and internet) over the last debt from that time - since they wouldn't allow me to cancel the account and give forwarding address because I owed them money and they 'can't make changes on an account that has a balance owing' I was looking at a couple grand from them, including the boxes that none of the reps I talked to would tell me what they looked like or where they would be in the house so I could return them. I managed to get that - finally - settled for what would have been a reasonable final bill, if Rogers didn't have such an idiotic policy (I hope no one here works there!)

    I got preliminary approval for a mortgage this year, with some government assistance for first time home buyers with lower income, and found a house I wanted, put in an offer, went for final mortgage approval - and they found thousands of dollars of debt under my name. All for the same bill, each debt company sold it to the next but didn't take if off the credit report. I can't get the mortgage, I've lost my deposit, I've lost my approval for the government assistance, since it is dependent on financing, and I've lost my will to continue to fight for this. It took me such a long time and so much money to get everything back the last time, it took so many hoops to jump through to get down payment assistance, and I'm exhausted.

    The debt I owe? Life insurance. When my husband passed we had life and disability insurance for each other, but the policy was taken out in his name, and the funds taken out of his bank account each month (because he was the only one working). When he died I submitted to get the payment (since it was life insurance and he died) and they denied it five times. Each for more stupid reasons than the last. (We can't payout for suicide - but it says in your policy that is only true for the first year, and we've had this policy more than two years, yes but we can't pay for intentionally dangerous activities and he was alone in the woods at the time, he could have been mauled by a bear - but he wasn't, and that has nothing to do with his death, your policy states that as dangerous activities leading to death, the example in the policy is skydiving, yes but we can't pay for illegal activities and it shows here that he was drinking before he died, and was on public property, which is illegal etc. etc. etc.) So they didn't pay anything.

    They also wouldn't cancel the insurance. I sent his death certificate in, they wouldn't let me cancel the policy because he originally took it out. They needed to talk to him or get a letter from him, and only him. After three months I closed his bank account so the automatic payments would stop. They would call me every month and tell me that the payment wasn't made and if it continued the policy would cancel, I would say I'd already cancelled it, they would tell me it wasn't allowed. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

    I guess they kept the policy open for three years before cancelling and sending to collections, three years of missed payments, interest and collections fees owing. It doesn't matter that I have all the paperwork showing their response to my continued requests to cancel, it doesn't matter that it wasn't MY policy (or I would have able to cancel it). I showed the file to the mortgage broker and she said I should have hired a lawyer to get the payout, but that it was too late now. (It's been 7 years)

    I just want to hide and cry and give up.
    Pain and suffering are inevitable...misery is optional.

  • #2
    My sincere sympathies. You've been screwed over by experts. I don't blame you if you give up, but I want to suggest something. First, if there is any way at all to do so, please find a good lawyer to look into the insurance thing. It makes absolutely NO SENSE at all for a company to refuse to cancel insurance when you proved that he was dead. Surely there has to be some kind of violation on their part. I can't imagine any court saying that you would be stuck with this insurance forever and ever even though it was in his name, not yours. I've been told in the past that a contract that I didn't sign had no claim on me, even though it was in a relative's name.

    Second, if you decide you want to keep trying for a house, see if NACA has an office in your area. That's the Neighborhood Assistance Corp of America. I could not have bought my house without them. You do not have to be low income to use their services. They provide financial advice and may even have attorneys or real estate agents to work with you.

    The way their program works, your down payment is rolled into the mortgage. Even with debt problems they may be able to help you. My credit was somewhat bruised when I worked with them, but I followed their program and not only qualified for a house, I only had to pony up about $3,450 as "earnest money." The only thing that's tricksy is that if you sell the house before the term of the mortgage is up, you must pay back the entire amount of the loan, so you wouldn't be getting much, if any, profit from selling it.

    It's a thought. I'm so sorry you're going through all this crap.
    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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    • #3
      Find out if there is a legal aid group near you that can check into this? My Mom passed away 11 years ago. Long story short there were a couple of policies were Mom didn't change the beneficiary after Dad died. Even though both sis and I were name in the wills and on all policies as secondary beneficiaries, they would not pay us.

      We would fight with them for a while then get fed up. Well last year we tried again. Turned out they were being investigated for fraud for pulling this kind of thing. They handed over the money with 10 year interests so fast our heads were spinning. With the second policy we mentioned the other firm being investigated and it had the same result.

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      • #4
        I'm not in the states so the program you mentioned mooncat wouldn't work. Even the rent to own housing around here just gets you a down payment, you still have to arrange financing

        Maybe I will bring the insurance papers into a lawyer, it can't hurt. I don't think I financially qualify for the free lawyer service, but they'll still do an inexpensive consult to tell me if its worth pursuing. The worst part is we got the life insurance so that if either of us was left as a single parent it would be enough to buy a small house so that without rent parenthood would be somewhat affordable on one income.
        Pain and suffering are inevitable...misery is optional.

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        • #5
          Ugh. Here's the thing with life insurances - so many of these places hope you'll give up so that they can keep the money or take the estate for as much money as they can.

          Usually with life insurance, once the covered person is deceased that policy gets paid out to the beneficiaries on file, or, if there aren't any beneficiaries alive then it goes to the estate. The policy that your husband had on you should have been converted to a personal policy pretty much upon notice of your husband's passing and it should have been under your name so if you opted to cancel you could have done so at any time. Sounds like that might not have happened and the insurance company is just trying to cover their collective asses. It doesn't matter that he originally took it out - they should have converted it. That's pretty shady of them to pull what they did, especially if they paid out the policy you had on him - they already got his death certificate. But if it's anything like some of the insurance companies I've dealt with on behalf of callers back in my HR services days, the company will drag it out as long as they can -_-

          As for that trail of debt, is there any way for you to get proof that it's all still the same debt and that somebody done screwed up? If so, that might help in terms of your credit rating.

          My fingers are crossed that this all gets sorted for you, NC!

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