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  • Grandma now has end-stage Alzheimer's and other bad news.

    Went to spend a little time with Mom last week. She was complaining about having to watch Grandma on Saturdays now since she got "kicked out of daycare" for needing too much care.

    Grandma attends a Alzheimer's "daycare" from 6:30 am (they pick her up) til 6:30pm (Mom picks her up at the center). It's open 6 days a week, so mom only had to watch grandma full time on Sundays. Because now it takes 2 people to help grandma to the bathroom and they only have 2 people working on Saturdays, gma has to stay home on the weekends. Of course this is "ruining" Mom's life.

    Grandma is now in end-stage Alzheimer's. She sits in her chair and stares at the wall. She doesn't eat unless someone feeds her. She's been in diapers for over 2 years. Of course mom acts like gma is just being stuck up, while painting herself as a martyr. (Despite the fact that gma attends daycare 12 hours a day.)

    Of course I feel terrible for gma because no one deserves a disease like this, and she was more of a mother to me then my own mother, at least until my cousins were born and then she forgot about me.

    I really feel that gma needs to be in full-time care, however we can't afford it, and mom is fiercely against it. Apparently Uncle will throw a fit and demand mom sell the cottage if she is no longer the full-time caregiver. Mom thinks she will be homeless, forgetting that she owns another 4 bedroom 2000sf house. That's the house she moved out of so she wouldn't have to deal with my sister's behavior.

    I was able to tell her how I felt about her behavior regarding my craft shows and that I would no longer be asking her for help. She was upset that she wouldn't be spending time with me anymore, but there's really nothing she can do about it.

    I have a big show this weekend, and am hoping that I'll do well. Set-up and first day are tomorrow and it lasts until sunday night.

    We're almost ready to put our house on the market. We're painting today and the new carpet is coming in tomorrow. We already have 75% of our storage space full.

    Hubs wants to look at 5 more houses and I'm hoping we can find one we're both happy with. It'll be awesome to have my own sewing room.

    Dad is pitching a fit about his apartment. The pipes under his building haven't been cleaned out in at least 40 years and they back up into his apartment. Right now he has raw sewage backing up into his apartment and mold already growing on the walls. He's throwing a fit because he's lived there for 22 years and they don't care about him. They've offered to move him into a new apartment, but there's no guarantee that the pipes won't back up again. He's complaining that moving is too much of a hassle. (Yes it's a pain in the butt!) However, he can't use any water in his apartment and the place reeks of sewage! I told him if I was in his shoes, I'd either be looking for a new apartment or a house to rent/buy. I think he's fishing to try to move in with us.

    HAHAHAHAHAHA NO.
    https://purplefish-quilting.square.site/

  • #2
    Damn, that sucks

    After seeing my own grandmother develop similar problems--forgetting things, spending most of her days either staring at the wall or ceiling, needing someone to help her in the bathroom, etc. I know what it feels like to see someone get that way.

    Grandma was always very independent. After my grandfather died, she continued to entertain her friends and family, keep up the house and farm, and still drove herself to the store and church. 1994 she was in a near-fatal auto accident. Some jagoff in a dump truck rear-ended her, pushing her car into the path of a logging truck coming the other way Her injuries left her spending a year in rehab, just learning to walk and take care of herself again.

    Fast-forward to 2007-08, and she was starting to decline. While still somewhat strong mentally, she was having problems getting around the house. We think she had a few small strokes, which damaged her mind just enough that she could no longer function. That's when the 2AM phone calls started. She'd call us, and forget that she was no longer living at the farm. She'd call and wonder when Grandpa was coming home--she'd forgotten that he died nearly 20 years prior.

    After yet another fall, we had no choice but to put her in a nursing home. Painful to do, trust me. But, at least she was safe and had someone to check on her 24/7. Very painful to see her like that.

    One thing you might want to look into--if you're in the US--is to look at the Medicare and Medicaid options. They can sometimes bring nursing care down to more reasonable levels. When my grandmother was in the home, they had an entire wing set aside for Medicare/Medicaid recipients.
    Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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    • #3
      My mom has Parkinson's, and she is starting to exhibit mental symptoms as well.

      Fortunately, it seems she agrees that she needs to go into assisted living. Now the timing is the only question.
      “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
      One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
      The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

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