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I've been lurking, but not posting much. Life got crazy. A quick recap of what's been happening.
In March my middle son got very sick. We still don't have a diagnosis, but he's stable, so that's good. While he was hospitalized, and the doctors were trying anything and everything to figure out what was wrong, they decided they wanted a detailed family history. I could do that for my side, but I didn't know anything beyond the basics for my ex-husband's side. So, out of desperation, and after 14 years of no contact, I tracked down my ex. The only thing I could find was a probably work number. The poor woman who took the call was probably in shock. Apparently they didn't even know he had an ex-wife and three kids, and the message I left was "I believe this is where <name> works. I understand you can't confirm that, but if I'm correct, will you please tell him that his ex-wife called and one of his kids is extremely sick, and I need to talk to him." To his credit, he called back less than 10 minutes later. We got to talking about a lot of stuff and my suspicions that my parents meddled in my marriage were confirmed. I'm not going to go into detail, but all is forgiven and we began to work on rebuilding a relationship between him and the kids.
Now, if you recall, middle kid is the one with emotional issues. Getting sick and not being able to figure skate was the straw that broke the camel's back. He went from bad to worse. It was like living in a war zone. I was desperate. MrMathnerd, my ex, his wife and I all sat down and decided that the only hope for the kid was to move in with my ex and his wife. I couldn't get the kid into a residential treatment center, and he was back to doing hard drugs again. I was out of options. So we did that. It's sucked, but it's my job to do everything I can to help him grow into a strong, healthy, productive young man, and if that means letting his father take over, then so be it. So far, so good, though I see signs that the honeymoon period is over and they're about to learn how bad his behavior can be. Here's hoping they have better luck than I did.
In happier news, shortly after middle kid moved in with his father, I found out about this disabled scarlet macaw in a desperate situation. She's missing one wing, has plucked herself practically naked, and was said to be aggressive and almost vicious. I went to meet her. It was love at first sight. I took her home. When we first brought her home, she lived up to her reputation. We had to move her with protective gear, or she'd bite hard. Over the last 7 weeks she has come a very long way. She's gone from not letting anybody near her to "velcro bird". She's not happy unless she's on my arm or leg. She's still plucking, but I've gotten her diet under control and she's learning to trust other humans. I've re-done the inside of her cage with wider perches and other features that make it easier for her to perch because her missing wing causes balance issues. I'm working on converting a stroller into a birdie wheelchair, because she's a little too unstable to go for walks on my arm. All in all, I'm beyond thrilled with her.
The other two boys are doing well. Both of them are scheduled for surgery in October. The day of surgery is going to be pure chaos, because we've got two surgeons working on two different body parts on both boys, all on the same day. Three of the four procedures being done are really simple, but the fourth one might be tricky. The day itself will be less than fun, but this is better than two different days, because once the chaos of actual surgery is over, the boys are on the same follow up schedule, which is a lot easier on me.
And I think I've decided I'm going to go back to school. For various reasons, going back into teaching isn't an option. Working with Charlotte (the macaw) has made me realize how much I really do love animals. I'm considering a second bachelor's degree in zoology, with an eye towards doing avian rehabilitation as a (third) career. I'm good with animals, and while I loved doing dog and cat rescue, there's just something different about birds.
So, I think that's all the big stuff. Hopefully things will be calm enough for me to do more than quickly read the forums now.
In March my middle son got very sick. We still don't have a diagnosis, but he's stable, so that's good. While he was hospitalized, and the doctors were trying anything and everything to figure out what was wrong, they decided they wanted a detailed family history. I could do that for my side, but I didn't know anything beyond the basics for my ex-husband's side. So, out of desperation, and after 14 years of no contact, I tracked down my ex. The only thing I could find was a probably work number. The poor woman who took the call was probably in shock. Apparently they didn't even know he had an ex-wife and three kids, and the message I left was "I believe this is where <name> works. I understand you can't confirm that, but if I'm correct, will you please tell him that his ex-wife called and one of his kids is extremely sick, and I need to talk to him." To his credit, he called back less than 10 minutes later. We got to talking about a lot of stuff and my suspicions that my parents meddled in my marriage were confirmed. I'm not going to go into detail, but all is forgiven and we began to work on rebuilding a relationship between him and the kids.
Now, if you recall, middle kid is the one with emotional issues. Getting sick and not being able to figure skate was the straw that broke the camel's back. He went from bad to worse. It was like living in a war zone. I was desperate. MrMathnerd, my ex, his wife and I all sat down and decided that the only hope for the kid was to move in with my ex and his wife. I couldn't get the kid into a residential treatment center, and he was back to doing hard drugs again. I was out of options. So we did that. It's sucked, but it's my job to do everything I can to help him grow into a strong, healthy, productive young man, and if that means letting his father take over, then so be it. So far, so good, though I see signs that the honeymoon period is over and they're about to learn how bad his behavior can be. Here's hoping they have better luck than I did.
In happier news, shortly after middle kid moved in with his father, I found out about this disabled scarlet macaw in a desperate situation. She's missing one wing, has plucked herself practically naked, and was said to be aggressive and almost vicious. I went to meet her. It was love at first sight. I took her home. When we first brought her home, she lived up to her reputation. We had to move her with protective gear, or she'd bite hard. Over the last 7 weeks she has come a very long way. She's gone from not letting anybody near her to "velcro bird". She's not happy unless she's on my arm or leg. She's still plucking, but I've gotten her diet under control and she's learning to trust other humans. I've re-done the inside of her cage with wider perches and other features that make it easier for her to perch because her missing wing causes balance issues. I'm working on converting a stroller into a birdie wheelchair, because she's a little too unstable to go for walks on my arm. All in all, I'm beyond thrilled with her.
The other two boys are doing well. Both of them are scheduled for surgery in October. The day of surgery is going to be pure chaos, because we've got two surgeons working on two different body parts on both boys, all on the same day. Three of the four procedures being done are really simple, but the fourth one might be tricky. The day itself will be less than fun, but this is better than two different days, because once the chaos of actual surgery is over, the boys are on the same follow up schedule, which is a lot easier on me.
And I think I've decided I'm going to go back to school. For various reasons, going back into teaching isn't an option. Working with Charlotte (the macaw) has made me realize how much I really do love animals. I'm considering a second bachelor's degree in zoology, with an eye towards doing avian rehabilitation as a (third) career. I'm good with animals, and while I loved doing dog and cat rescue, there's just something different about birds.
So, I think that's all the big stuff. Hopefully things will be calm enough for me to do more than quickly read the forums now.
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