Funny ways to swear/cuss/curse...

[mjr]

I'm not talking about saying things like "dang", "durn", "dagnabbit" or anything like that.

I'm talking about saying things like:

You female parent coituser!

You male offspring of a female canine!

That sort of thing.

So, what funny ones can you come up with?

[greek_jester]

I always like "P%$s soaked son/daughter of a syphilistic whore!"

[Trixie]

When I'm at work and I need to say bad words and it happens frequently, I resort to blurting out food names. Like cheese and crackers or shitake mushrooms. If I'm really mad I may say mother cluckers. And in the times when none of that will do I'll find a secluded spot and let the real words fly.

[wolfie]

Your first one could be shortened to "Oedipus emulator".

[drunkenwildmage]

I use Frak (from Battlestar) alot. I will stop in mid phrase, mostly with 'Son of a......' I also tend to go towards funny sounding words, like schmeckle, or use 'cleaner' phrase, but the same meaning.

"Well, if we do that we all are going to end up in deep fertilizer."
"We just came across like a bunch of monkeys having intimate relations with a bunch of footballs"
"That's a severe case of cranial-Rectal inversion syndrome",
"Rectum sourcing"

[mjr]

Your first one could be shortened to "Oedipus emulator".

Ha! I hadn't considered that. I might have to keep that one in mind...

I use Frak (from Battlestar) alot. I will stop in mid phrase, mostly with 'Son of a......'

I've used "son of a biscuit eater", in that case.

And I know it counts as one of the aforementioned swear/cuss/curse words, but sometimes (usually at home) I'll say "son of a..." like Jackie Gleason did as Buford T. Justice in "Smokey and the Bandit", except I'll draw out the "Sum" part...

"Well, if we do that we all are going to end up in deep fertilizer."
"We just came across like a bunch of monkeys having intimate relations with a bunch of footballs"
"That's a severe case of cranial-Rectal inversion syndrome",
"Rectum sourcing"

I don't get the second and fourth ones...

[Sliceanddice]

Huh, I just use firefly Chinese

[wolfie]

I don't get the second and fourth ones...

Fourth one (rectum sourcing) would be that they pulled it out of their ass (or were supposed to). Most likely deals with information that bears no resemblance to reality, or a customer demands a product that's out of stock, as in "What am I supposed to do, pull it out of my ass?"

[drunkenwildmage]

I don't get the second and fourth ones...

wolfie got the fourth one right. The 2nd one is for "We looked like a bunch of monkeys fucking footballs."

[dalesys]

Their parents were brothers... of different species...

[mjr]

rectum sourcing...they pulled it out of their ass

I'm stealing that one, too...

[dalesys]

..."Rectum sourcing"

Spell it "Wrecked 'em sore sing"

[wolfie]

Don't forget all the feco-cerebral (shit-for-brains) people you have to deal with.

[Seanette]

I've been known to say "bleep" instead of an expletive.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

On another forum, they used to have a filter that replaced the F-word with "smurf" automatically. It became part of my vocabulary.

I have also used the word "intercourse" instead of the F-bomb.

I'd love to use Firefly chinese curses, though... I just can't remember any.