Funny ways to swear/cuss/curse...

[Kittish]

I think my favorite day to day non-swear swear is 'fudgenuts!' I have no idea where I got it from, but it handily replaces quite a few curse words. Murloc is also great for cursing without actually cursing. (WoW players will get it)

[mjr]

On another forum, they used to have a filter that replaced the F-word with "smurf" automatically.

There was a SNL skit once several years back that involved smurfs...part of it was an innuendo/dirty talk thing...

Smurfette: "Oh, Hefty. I want you to Smurf me...Smurf me right now! I want you to Smurf all over my Smurfs!"

Towards the end of this clip: Start at about the 1:30 mark to see it...

http://tvpot.daum.net/v/WK68GXN4SjY$

[mjr]

Another one that came to mind that I've heard from time to time.

"He's suffering from cranio-rectal insertion". "He has his head up his @$$".

[wolfie]

Another that came to mind - "That won't earn me membership in the Mile High Club", regarding something you don't give a flying f**k about.

[notalwaysright]

I've been known to say "bleep" instead of an expletive.

I'll say "blerg" (like on 30 Rock) because it doesn't sound like any normal swear word, and if I say it at work I won't get in trouble. Hopefully.

There's this commercial on the radio for an aquarium, I think, that has two little kids insulting each other using only the names of sea creatures. I find it pretty cute, some sound like real insults. I looked and looked for it online and seriously can't find it.

[Valentinian]

I tend to use "rectal haberdashery" and of course "sweet mother of Murgatroyd!" for anything really boggling.

[dawnfire]

smeg is a good one

[ApolloSZ]

"Son of a gum chewing funk monster" is one I like from Dragon Ball Z Abridged. Infact Vegeta's whole rant in that episode is great. *See below*

My other is "Good sir/madam, please depart and fornicate with thy self".



**
From memory, the whole rant is:
"Son of a gum chewing funk monster. Why the fruit does all this funny stuff happen to me. Forget my life. Always surrounding by miserable failing clods. Like I'm some kind of schlup receptable. Its like this whole world, just wants to bend me over, and FIND ME IN THE ALPS."
**

[HotelMinion]

Young ladies don't curse or swear I learned that in charm school.
I sometimes say: I don't give a fig, or a flying fortress.

[mjr]

Young ladies don't curse or swear I learned that in charm school.
I sometimes say: I don't give a fig, or a flying fortress.

An ex-girlfriend of mine didn't curse or swear, either. Her dad was a preacher, though.

[Nunavut Pants]

I sometimes say: I don't give a ... flying fortress.

To be fair, there aren 't many B-17s around any more to give...

[TheSHAD0W]

I've called people cephaloplegic a couple of times...

Another useful term is "dog-whistle". This indicates a person is so tight-assed that when he farts only dogs can hear it.

[pitmonkey]

It's so deep you need hip waders

[Seanette]

I've called people cephaloplegic a couple of times...

I like this one.

[El Pollo Guerrera]

I also remember a TV commercial for a movie channel that didn't edit the films for younger audiences, and it shows the line-up scene from "The Usual Suspects" and they replace the offending line with "fuzzy sock-sucker"... I have used that on occasion.

There's also the TV-edit for "Snakes on a Plane"...