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Since the events of this thread, a lot has changed. My husband leaves me alone for the most part, he doesn't put his hands on me and is less controlling, but that's only because he's addicted to his Xbox and plays it every waking moment that he's not at work. I kinda gave up and I leave him alone about it now. I've been focusing on making myself better, and my mental health has improved greatly. My physical health, not so much, I've mentioned before that I'm fighting both gallstones and kidney stones and am waiting to see the respective specialists. Hubs doesn't seem to care much about my health beyond what it'll cost him, because money is always his first concern, not his wife's health.
I'm also almost finished with school. I graduate in May, and I feel like I have enough skills to maybe try to apply for jobs. After all, a job will mean I can support myself when I leave.
That's right, I finally made that choice.
The short-term plan is to graduate and get a job, maybe not in that particular order, then when I've saved up enough, get my own apartment. Long-term goal involves moving back to Arizona.
This isn't something I thought of spur-of-the-moment, I've been considering it for quite some time. I only just now realized that living like this is not worth my happiness. I spend all day overwhelmed and tired because I'm doing the work of four people while my husband sits on the couch all day and complains that I don't do enough. I'm trying to manage my health and I know my depression and anxiety will never totally begin to go away until I can get away from all of this. I want my own place, my own freedom, the room to clean up after myself and have pets if I want to (Hubs hates animals), or to be able to sit around and binge-watch horror movies on Netflix without being scolded like a 9-year-old.
So right now, I muddle through until I graduate and/or save up enough to move out. But I feel so much better having a plan!
I'm also almost finished with school. I graduate in May, and I feel like I have enough skills to maybe try to apply for jobs. After all, a job will mean I can support myself when I leave.
That's right, I finally made that choice.
The short-term plan is to graduate and get a job, maybe not in that particular order, then when I've saved up enough, get my own apartment. Long-term goal involves moving back to Arizona.
This isn't something I thought of spur-of-the-moment, I've been considering it for quite some time. I only just now realized that living like this is not worth my happiness. I spend all day overwhelmed and tired because I'm doing the work of four people while my husband sits on the couch all day and complains that I don't do enough. I'm trying to manage my health and I know my depression and anxiety will never totally begin to go away until I can get away from all of this. I want my own place, my own freedom, the room to clean up after myself and have pets if I want to (Hubs hates animals), or to be able to sit around and binge-watch horror movies on Netflix without being scolded like a 9-year-old.
So right now, I muddle through until I graduate and/or save up enough to move out. But I feel so much better having a plan!
HUGE red flag for us and even more reason for me to want to take her and get out of here. I can't trust her with Hubs's parents either since they're rather lax about car safety and leaving my FIL's vaping liquids out where she can get to them (WHY they're not in childproof bottles I don't know, but Little Ara can already open twist-off caps so anything that smells sweet like what they use is something she'll likely try to drink). I know it sounds biased but my mom is really the only one I trust with Little Ara now, and that's because I know she won't try to think she knows better than I do when it comes to my own daughter's safety. We share a lot of the same parenting values and she respects what differences there are.
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