Sand in the hourglass has nearly run out ...

[Pixelated]

Mom apparently had not one but two seizures yesterday (Friday) and this morning I checked my email (which I don't normally do) and found, from brother, "Mom appears to be trying to get to heaven today ..."



For the first time in a long time, I wasn't scheduled at the store on a Saturday. I hadn't been planning to spend virtually the entire day at the nursing home, but that's how it turned out ... and I'll be going back tomorrow.

Assuming, of course, that Mom is still with us tomorrow. Nursing home staff says she could hang on for a month, or a a few weeks, or I could get a phone call at 3 a.m. tomorrow saying she quietly slipped away during the night. There's no way to predict it.

[morgana]

My sympathies; a hard situation, I know. Been there . . .

[Pixelated]

Thanks, morgana. It's not exactly a shock, and she sure hasn't had much of a life for some time now, but ...

[csquared]

You understand the reality of it. People don't live forever. They have had a good, long life.

But still...

The waiting.

It hurts.

*Hugs*

[RootedPhoenix]

Even if it's not a shock, somehow it still is. You want loved ones to stay forever.

<3 *hugs, lots of hugs*

[MoonCat]

No matter how prepared you are, it's still a kick in the gut. You have my deepest sympathies. Hang on, it's hard, it's so hard, but you'll get through it. Peace to you.

[Pixelated]

You understand the reality of it. People don't live forever. They have had a good, long life.

But still...

The waiting.

It hurts.

*Hugs*

Thank you, csquared. She just turned 84 two weeks ago. That's fairly long but it's not been so good over the past several years, as her mental and physical health deteriorated steadily. Yet she came from extremely sturdy stock: her father lived to 98 and was compos mentis literally until the moment of his death. He was also not on any medications.

I would not want to keep her here any longer under these conditions, but yes ... the waiting is the hard part.

Even if it's not a shock, somehow it still is. You want loved ones to stay forever.

<3 *hugs, lots of hugs*

Thanks, RootedPhoenix. I'd love for her to stay longer IF I could somehow repair the ravages of her various health problems ... which would involve going back in time and forcing her to stop smoking three or four decades ago, among other things ...

At least she has been extremely well cared for in the nursing home. Her Number One Fan hasn't been in to work in the past few days; other second-floor staff members have warned her what to expect when she comes in tomorrow.

No matter how prepared you are, it's still a kick in the gut. You have my deepest sympathies. Hang on, it's hard, it's so hard, but you'll get through it. Peace to you.

Thanks, MoonCat. It will be hard, but wherever Mom goes, she will be better off than the condition she's in now.

Called my boss today to give her a heads-up that I will be requesting bereavement leave in the very near future.

*********************

For the following story, please, no religion bashing ... I am not trying to start a Fratching column here.

We had an interesting situation concerning Mom's impending death. Brief background info:

Me: agnostic
Brother: practicing Catholic
Sister: ??? (I suspect she's sort of vaguely conventionally religious: she believes in a deity but doesn't follow any particular creed or belong to any particular church)

When sister was here a few weeks ago (after Mom's first seizure), we were discussing funeral plans. Mom used to have a dog -- part German Shepherd and part wolf -- whom she loved dearly. When Kaila died, Mom had her cremated and said repeatedly over the years that she wanted Kaila's ashes to go with hers.

So I mentioned this to sis. She indicated that that couldn't be done. I asked why. I don't remember her exact words, but I do remember the implication involved religion not allowing animal remains to be mixed with human remains.

Me: WTF ...

At the time I wondered if she and brother had discussed this, and she was passing along what she knew of his views. Or was she just guessing that these would be his views? Or were they her views?

I pointed out that Mom was not religious, the atmosphere got a little uncomfortable, and the subject was dropped.

On Saturday I called brother from the nursing home and we discussed funeral arrangements (I thought it had all been arranged; apparently not ...) I had spoken to a local funeral home and they said the best thing to do regarding pets is to literally pour the animal's cremains into the urn with the human cremains. They've done this before on the q.t. (And for goodness' sake, do NOT put the pet's name on the stone or the plaque ...)

I pass this along to brother. He says that's fine with him.

Obviously brother, who is religious, has no problem with this. So I still can't figure out where sis's objection was coming from.

But it doesn't matter, because Mom will get her wish.

[Blue Ginger]

Mom used to have a dog -- part German Shepherd and part wolf -- whom she loved dearly. When Kaila died, Mom had her cremated and said repeatedly over the years that she wanted Kaila's ashes to go with hers.

This sounds like a really lovely thing to do for your mum. It doesn't matter what anyone else wants, it's about what the person who has passed wants. Given your mum has expressed this numerous times over the years, it is clearly what she wants.

[Pixelated]

DAFUQ ...

Nursing home just called ... it was Mom's Number One Fan (staff member who has repeatedly gone above and beyond in terms of Mom's care).

Mom is out of bed, sitting at the second-floor desk, has just chugged down her last two Cokes and is eating chips and cookies.

[morgana]

Okay, everybody!

Dance party!

[Pixelated]

Okay, everybody!

Dance party!

No kidding! To me this is just surreal, although sis (a nurse-practitioner) says this kind of roller-coaster thing is standard.

Apparently staff went in at 9 p.m. last night to check on her.

Staff: "Hi, Joanie!"

Mom's eyes popped open. "Hi! I wanna get up! I'm hungry!"

Staff:

So they got her up and got her something to eat and drink. When her Number One Fan came on shift at 2 p.m. today, she got Mom out of bed again -- changed the bed linens, brushed Mom's hair, and wheeled her out to the desk. I was there for supper -- Mom had a medium-sized dessert bowl of ground meat, mashed potatoes and gravy ... she ate 2/3 of it. She ate half her piece of cake (the half with the icing on it ....)

And she drank, and she drank, and she drank ... Coke, enough OJ to float the Titanic, some milk, some water, she'd had some Ensure earlier ...

She also threatened to go beat up some other resident who was yelling repeatedly and monotonously for the "NUURRRSE!!"

So yeah, this is quite the rebound. She was unbelievably responsive, not only to what was being said to her, but also to what was going on around her in the hallway. No telling how long it will last, of course, but apparently I'd best get used to the roller-coaster aspect of it. Frankly I will be happy to celebrate whatever "ups" there are.

I told her brother is coming down in a few weeks. Mom: "DON'T TELL ME THAT!!"

Only real downside: her speech is somewhat slurred; they think she likely had at least one mini-stroke.