Quoth Arcus
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GF and I got together 13 years ago. 11 years ago I moved in with her at the house she owned. 7 years ago she was diagnosed with a terminal degenerative brain disease (5 - 6 year end of life time limit that was all too accurate). she passed on 2 years ago.
Now I could have walked/ran away from this ( as I have prior experience with my Ex DW who had 9 total major surgeries and required LOTS of caregiving and had hoped that aspect of my life was OVER) or stay and taken help care of her. I chose to stay and be co full time caregiver alongside GF's DD. It was NOT easy and there was NOT a lot of help forthcoming until near the end (GF's immediate family had started to die off during this time and some were not ones you would want around or even trying to help out). Yeah there were times where I really did want to give up and walk away
The relationship as a whole had allowed me to "rebuild" from literally nothing $$$ wise to a nice nest egg (not a whole lot mind you but still....). but that was not my driving reason. assisting a person I deeply loved and cared for overrode everything else.
Find a support group for caregivers whether local or online. Reach out to whatever local/county resources are available (I know in my state EVERY county has a Aging and Disability Resource Center that is open to EVERYONE as an advocacy agency and they have the knowledge and resources to point you in the right direction for services and resources that can be accessed in your area for YOU AND YOUR FATHER).
Do NOT despair there are resources that you can get somewhere.
I know it seems hard and is a BIG slog but just ignore what the Flying Monkeys say since they can't be arsed to lift a finger to help out and all they want to do is complain. TUNE THEM OUT IGNORE THEM as best as you can. put them on an info diet or refuse all contact unless they have something to meaningfully contribute like real help or better than lip service support. I hate to say but tell them to F' off and die and go no contact. your mental and physical well being and the well being of your Father is more important than their bullshit whinning and false complaints.
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