Update of sorts--finally back up for air

[taxguykarl]

It's been a long time....a long stressful time. I'm fine but Mrs. TGK's peeps are another story.
Back in April my MIL was diagnosed with rectal cancer. As she was 91 y.o. and diabetic, the doctors would not operate. They tried chemo and radiation with no good results, so MIL went into hospice (cue Comfortably Numb). BIL1 (Mrs. TGK is the youngest of 3) is disabled and needed constant care so he and MIL became roommates in the nursing home.
With MIL's house effectively abandoned, BIL2 (the able-bodied one in the construction business) and I (mostly I, just ask BIL2 & Mrs. TGK) went about emptying the house for sale upon MIL's death.
I essentially re-created the summer of '80: MIL's house is an hour and a half from ours direct. Dropping off Mrs. TGK at work and navigating Chicago rush hour traffic to get to MIL's house was off the table (I would not be able to get much done after the trip); thus, I could go out there on the days that Mrs. TGK worked from home (two per work week) and some weekends. I would work as long as I could stand it and head home.
Are there any Hoarders fans here? Well, I now have great respect for the therapists and cleaning crews. Yes, my in-laws could easily make that show. I found and shredded (just as an example) bank statements and blank checks from accounts that they closed in the '80's just before they moved to Arkansas; BIL1's class notes from high school and UIC; entire veterinary papers from cats that died in the '90's; tax returns from the '70's; junk mail for car insurance (BIL1 never had a license); empty food containers, prescription bottles and much more. At least I didn't have a hoarder looking over my shoulder.
I filled at least one 42-gallon contractor clean up bag each visit. It was the norm for me to locate a stack (a binder full, as often as not) of documents that were no longer needed but had identifying info; thus had to be destroyed. I would often start a work day shredding until the shredder overheated. Then I would clear out another area for as long as I could stand cleaning through the dust and mouse shit (in retrospect, their snowshoe cat was a formidable mouser--that also explains why she was often digging and going under those piles).
Mrs. TGK was half amused half shocked to find her old Shaun Cassidy collection among their vinyls (Don't judge!!! A lot of tweens in the late '70's would have had such a set).
I sectioned off a section in their basement (the only place that wasn't overflowing-his wheelchair and her walker were disguised blessings) to get the stuff of intrinsic value out of the way.
Once I cleared the floors and gained paths to the windows (which I celebrated by linking The Doors' Break on Through to BIL2 & Mrs. TGK), I could start moving the lighter furniture to the garage. As I exposed more walls and emptied drawers, I found that house to be one big mouse toilet.
BIL2 & Mrs. TGK agreed to donate stuff to make room there (see also satruck.org). I knew of some charities that do not date their receipts, so the plan was to use the appropriate amount to eliminate MIL's federal tax liability. Any remaining tax savings would go 50-50 (or as close as I could get) to BIL2 & Mrs. TGK. From late June on I would haul a load to charity.
MIL succumbed to the cancer in the first week of August. Ironically on the day before Mrs. TGK planned to accompany me to MIL's house to select her burial outfit. Funeral planning and execution went well: We went to the same home as FIL in '07. Mrs. TGK wrote a glowing eulogy and put together a moving slide show to play before the ceremony began. BIL2 thought she should have been a political spin doctor. I rented an accessible van to drive BIL1 from the nursing home to the funeral to the cemetery to the luncheon venue back to the home. Mrs. TGK's cousin quipped about completing the circle as she was a waitress there in the late '70's to early '80's.
The next couple of weeks, we prepared to meet with a probate lawyer. BIL2 recommended one he worked with before for POA over MIL and BIL1. The online reviews were overall positive and he did property law as well (IOW, just the skill set we needed), so I made an appointment.
In case you're wondering: BIL2 obtained POA because they were seriously mishandling their financial affairs. I easily shredded about half my weight in overdraft and utility shutoff notices, as well as late notices on the property tax. I found a lot of notes from her SIL, a retired CPA who did MIL's returns from '07 (when FIL died) to '15 when I took over (her husband, Mrs. TGK's uncle was diagnosed with Alzheimer's-he died in the fall of 2018), about missing 1099's (lots of investments and certificates of deposit). I could easily sense the frustration. SIL frequently had to file extensions and MIL ended up paying a late penalty on the state income tax.
The meeting with the lawyer went better than expected: we do not need to open a probate case as the only significant estate assets were the house and Wally World stock, the later was in a transfer-on-death account. We met with the Improper Fraction broker later that same day to complete the stock transfers. The broker also gave me some numbers about dividends and capital gains to date and MIL's medical expenses were enough to make her federal tax exempt (Illinois state was another story :eek).
BIL2 & I would find a major irony: MIL kept closing docs from houses she (and FIL) hadn't owned for 30+ years but not the original wet-ink copy of her will . The lawyer knew work-arounds for that (still ); moreover, the heirs (BIL1, BIL2 & Mrs. TGK) would get the same (1/3 each) even if there was no such document. There is speculation that either MIL or a Visiting Angel pitched that original, however unwillingly.
To avoid a repeat of this situation I am putting together a new will for BIL1 and I am keeping the wet-ink copy in our safe. As Mrs. TGK & BIL2 are contingent beneficiaries, an update is in order anyway.
Which brings us to today. BIL2's realtor friend (for whom he has fixed up roofs so she could get a better price) found a buyer for the house as-is. The buyers are flippers, so they will be fixing the place up. The closing date is a week from Friday (10/22). BIL2 & I are doing as much of removing the crap as we can in that fortnight. I finally see the light at the end of this tunnel--retirement, yeah right.

[EricKei]

Sorry about y'all's loss v.v May she rest in peace. In the end, it's probably best you got started early -- I know (from my failure to do so) with both parents that it's easier to do without the additional burdens, emotional and otherwise.

Property tax payments? I hope those were eventually taken care of. They're no joke, as I'm sure you're well aware.

Also...sorry you had to deal with the mousecrap x.x

[Kristev]

You must be amazing. I'd be overwhelmed after the first visit and would never go back.

[taxguykarl]

In the end, it's probably best you got started early -- I know (from my failure to do so) with both parents that it's easier to do without the additional burdens, emotional and otherwise.

No kidding. As there was an document to locate and BIL1 hid money throughout (yes, I know that's a sign of dementia) bringing a dumpster and hauling everything out was not an option.

Property tax payments? I hope those were eventually taken care of. They're no joke, as I'm sure you're well aware.

They were, BIL2 got them caught up to February 2022, and according to the realtor's quote: the seller will pay the property tax for calendar year 2022 as well.

Also...sorry you had to deal with the mousecrap x.x

Thank you. I would work 'til I started to itch. I don't know if that was a reaction to the dust, mites and excrement or psychosomatic. In either case, that meant it was time to call it a day.

You must be amazing. I'd be overwhelmed after the first visit and would never go back.

Thank you. Mrs. TGK is the same way. Ironically, she is an engineer and it just doesn't occur to her to break a large non-engineering problem into smaller ones .

UPDATE:
BIL2 is planning an estate sale this weekend. We will be making preparations together Wednesday. I just hauled bunch of electronics to a charity thrift store. We wore out our welcome at the local Salvation Army and Goodwill, so I've been bringing the stuff to Chicagoland with a wider range of stores and causes.
BIL2's oldest daughter took up quilting during the lock down and we found a carload of sewing scraps, fabric (including some half-bolts), usable thread, patterns (including a lot from McCall's--I wonder if they're collectors' items) and other sewing supplies. I noticed that the stack of stuff for her was gone--either Niece J picked it up or BIL2 dropped it off.
With all the furniture, office/school supplies, and housewares it should be quite a sale. Yes, you may PM me for the location if you plan to be in North central Illinois this weekend.

[taxguykarl]

UPDATE 2:
BIL2 & his GF held the sale. Some stuff moved but a lot did not.
I brought Mrs. TGK to meet with the lawyer to sign a stack of docs for the closing. We visited BIL1 at the home. He got new batteries for his power chair and is interacting more.
We got siggies on tax POA forms, so Mrs. TGK will be able to sign for BIL1--he may be hyper technically to file returns going forward.
I donated a bunch of stuff this week--the heavy furniture and some trash was all that remained. It is now someone else's problem: The closing went well and the check should arrive soon (yes, we have plans including a brand spanking new roof, central air and furnace). The charity write-offs amount to $11.8k each.
So much of the stuff in the house was garbage. They moved it from Chicago to the 'burbs to Arkansas to north central Illinois. They had problems with letting go. The problem 70+ years in the making is essentially solved.

Thank you for your support.

I am so glad I won't have to go through this when my mother passes. She went through the summer of '80, so she doesn't hoard and my sister J helped her get rid of (in J's words) all the "dead peoples' stuff". Mom has also been systemically gifting the stuff of sentimental value (I got a katana, one of my grandfather's war souvenirs, the Christmas before last). It's starting to sound like her estate will be divvying up the investments and selling her house.