No. We don't have that condom.

[Soulstealer]

Too bad you couldn't have sent him to me.

I have a few mint Trojans and a few Lifestyles.



Uh...yeah.

Don't ask.

I've never gotten mint before, are they as good as they sound?

[bendertiger]

Why do I keep thinking of computers when I hear the word 'Trojan'

[Greenday]

Sounds like a BS excuse to me. Allergic to Durex indeed. Durex is better than Trojan anyway.

[Becks]

I've never gotten mint before, are they as good as they sound?

Haven't actually TRIED it. I just have a few.

You have mint???? I have banana and chocolate... hmmmm... Mint Chocolate Banana Split flavored condoms.

Interesting. Realistic taste?

Alright, you two, I'm getting the creepy vibe.

Blah to you. I'd expect that sort of reaction from GK...

[aurelemsrealm]

This thread reminds me of a funny story from a few years ago. It's one of those Prom night kind of stories, but I laughed about it all night long.

I was working graveyard shift at the store where I worked then, and was less than enthusiastic about being at work that time of early morning. I'd just finished fighting off the last of the drunken barhoppers displaced by last call. I was fully immersed in that stupor of being half awake and completely disinterested as I worked through the nightly chore list. I usually spaced it out with plenty of coffee and cigarette breaks so I wouldn't get done too quickly. Few customers and no manager to find extra tasks for me to do were the only perks of graveyard shift to my way of thinking.

So, this kid who looked like he was no more than 16 comes flying up to the parking spaces in front of the building. At that time of morning, I don't hurry for anything. My sense of urgency simply does not exist except when it comes to replenishing my caffeine buzz lest I become cranky with anyone who dares annoy me. The kid blows past me through the door like a whirlwind running up and down the aisles. I put out my cigarette, and slowly walk behind the counter.

The kid asks where the condoms are after passing them at least twice, so I point to the aisle. He finally spots them. They're all 3-packs of Lifestyles. That's all we carried. He picks up several boxes, studying them.

He looks at me confused, "Do they only come in packs of three?"

"We only have the three-packs there. The only other ones we have are the singles in the machine in the men's room."

He gives me another puzzled look, "You mean you don't have any bigger packs?"

I bit my lip to stifle my laughter at that point. *Someone's a little excitable,* I kept thinking to myself. My inner demon was speaking volumes of mischief, but I was nice instead.

"Nope, just the three-packs you see there and the singles in the men's room."

He snatched up a couple of packs and rushed to the register. I rang them up, and he threw a $20 bill on the counter. "Keep the change!"

He was out the door before I could say much else. He was pulling out of the parking lot by the time I got to the door. The station was on the edge of town near the intersection of the main drag passing through town and the highway passing around the town. The kid ran the red light and made a bee line straight for the Ramada just down the highway.

It was a comical scene watching his tail lights. I'm not so sure this kid took time to park before he was back in his hotel room.

Must've been his first time. I don't think I've ever seen anyone so excitable.

[Seshat]

But lubes tend to have the same sort of base. I'm not aware of any real difference between your basic non spermicidal water based lubricants that would make you allergic to one but not another. Besides, you can get condoms without lubricant on them. Then again, some people have some crazy allergies.

I don't know whether it's an allergy or not, but (to be discreet) with certain brands, not necessarily the same ones, both my husband and I get unpleasant reactions. So we used to be extremely fussy about brands. Now I have an IUD and we don't worry about it.

Anyway, you have anecdotal evidence that some people do have reason to prefer specific brands due to reactions.

[Imogene]

In re: thread title...
"Yes, we have no bananas" just popped into my head.

[Kitten in the box]

... He then says that she is allergic to durex.

... and that if I have any other condoms.

"Yeah sure pal we have other condoms...what kind? DUREX. that's spelled D-U-R-E-X."

MOD EDIT:
Please don't quote entire post- we've already read it.

[i4wolves]

NO WE ONLY HAVE DUREX!!!

He then says that she is allergic to durex.

... and that if I have any other condoms.

I really hope that he decided to go to a different store and buy condoms that she is not allergic too, because he is too dumb to bring a child into this world.

[Jadedcarguy]

Blah to you. I'd expect that sort of reaction from GK...

I can't be GK. My way with words is inadequate and the great white north scares me.

[MadMike]

This is somewhat related to this thread, but it's too good not to tell.

My supervisor had a party at her house a few weeks ago, and I've learned a long time ago that while everyone behaves themselves at work, when you get them out of the office and some alcohol into them, I seem surprisingly normal by comparison.

Anyway, one of my coworkers told me a story about one of our recently retired coworkers that I really didn't want to know.

This doesn't happen as much these days, since most people have a computer of their own, but years ago, it was quite common for people to type up personal letters and print them off on our printer.

My very drunk coworker told me that one day he went to get something off the printer, and found something from out other coworker, and against his better judgement, started reading it. It was a letter to a company that made condoms, complaining that their condoms were too large for him, and asking about condoms in smaller sizes.

I'm so glad he was retired at that point. I never would have been able to look him in the eye.

[MinimaMagistra]

Interesting. Realistic taste?

No. Nothing labled "flavored" with a sexual purpose has any realistic resemblance to what it's supposed to resemble. It makes for some remarkable taste sensations, to be sure. But "strawberry" anything should in no way be described as "firey hell-pain", which was as accurate a phrase as I could find.

[bigjimaz]

They're all condoms to me.

They're all useless to me.

Thank you Diabetes.

So, this kid who looked like he was no more than 16...

I'm betting it took all of 5 minutes to use the first 3-pack.

[draggar]

Alright, you two, I'm getting the creepy vibe.

You're "creeped" by a (presumably) female poster talking about flavored condoms? Is the "guy" in your username misleading?

I'm sure there are so many 'condom' stories out there from behind the desk (customers wanting them) that there could be a book on them.

[Geek King]

He asks where the condoms are since he has a really hot girlfriend he wants to <censer> .

So I read this line, and my mind just starts running off on it's own:

...and it will be a manly <censering>, a <censering> for the the ages. A <censering> so grand and wonderful that it will be written of in <censer> textbooks and discussed by <censer> classes for years to come. <Censer> professionals will debate the <censering> impact that this <censer> will have on <censering> for the remaining history of <censering>.

Yes, my brain is inserting <censer> instead of the real word.
Please make my brain stop. Its starting to scare me.