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My mom has been against the gift-giving aspect of Christmas for awhile now. I sorta get it, but if I have something in mind for a specific person I'm going to get them something. We also have two small children in the New Jersey family contingent so..of course we're going to buy them stuff. I just like giving people presents.
My aunt (who we're staying with, that's a whole nother saga) fired a shot across the bow by emailing everyone on our holiday email list in ALL CAPS saying, basically, nobody can give any presents to anyone because she's broke. Gifting is not an obligation in the family and has not been for a few years. If you want to give presents, feel free. If not, that's fine too.
I removed her name from the list and replied to everyone else asking if those of us adults who want to do presents had any interest in doing a yankee swap/dirty santa game.
Mom then replies to the entire list adding my aunt's name back in saying that no, we can't do presents because she hates the commercialism of it all. And that snowballed into a referendum on what I as an adult choose to spend my money on. I was sorting through my 'eternal gift stash' (basically small items I picked up over the year/regifts in pristine condition) and get treated to "You need to stop spending money"...keep in mind that the items in that box are months if not years old. I spent very little on gifts this 'season', mostly last-minute "holy crap this would be perfect for X" things.
That's not just a Christmas thing though. I literally cannot go shopping with her if I want to buy anything that she would consider 'frivolous'; she has to pass judgement on every single item.
My aunt (who we're staying with, that's a whole nother saga) fired a shot across the bow by emailing everyone on our holiday email list in ALL CAPS saying, basically, nobody can give any presents to anyone because she's broke. Gifting is not an obligation in the family and has not been for a few years. If you want to give presents, feel free. If not, that's fine too.
I removed her name from the list and replied to everyone else asking if those of us adults who want to do presents had any interest in doing a yankee swap/dirty santa game.
Mom then replies to the entire list adding my aunt's name back in saying that no, we can't do presents because she hates the commercialism of it all. And that snowballed into a referendum on what I as an adult choose to spend my money on. I was sorting through my 'eternal gift stash' (basically small items I picked up over the year/regifts in pristine condition) and get treated to "You need to stop spending money"...keep in mind that the items in that box are months if not years old. I spent very little on gifts this 'season', mostly last-minute "holy crap this would be perfect for X" things.
That's not just a Christmas thing though. I literally cannot go shopping with her if I want to buy anything that she would consider 'frivolous'; she has to pass judgement on every single item.
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