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This may be a misperception but I think my brother is trying to antagonize me.
I work from home. Family is generally quiet but today there's been a lot of slamming around bringing camping gear in. Also the usual slamming of the microwave door and whatever. It always bothers me but I turn on a loud fan video or do whatever I have to to drown it out. I normally don't raise my voice about it and I held my tongue for hours today.
We have had a major conflict in the last year but the last few months we've gotten along OK and he's included me a little more in his life. I feel tension again today which I don't know is only on my side or what.
He was in the next room which shares a wall with me and I think was playing music or a music vid that was distracting me. I had had enough of the distractions and while it was not a huge deal, it really triggered me because of the bass sounds. Sometimes I feel like music is a weapon, especially since he has sung made-up lyrics about me at the top of his lungs when he was mad at me. This was probably totally unintentional but I got irritated since my productivity is down. I did raise my voice, though it probably sounded like every other time I've done that in frustration with my computer or monitor. In short, he may or may not have known he was bothering me. I regret saying anything and not just putting something on the speaker to drown it out, which I did secondarily. All seemed OK after a while and he went to the store. Came back all happy.
Then he went to feed the squirrels. He talks to them because he's silly. He literally said to one of them, as if the squirrel was saying it, "My snack is more important than anyone else's." This was specifically when I was in the kitchen in hearing distance. I can't really hear words if I'm in my room with the door closed. I could now and I wonder if that's why it was said. It felt like a dig at he thinks I'm saying my job is more important than what they want to do today. I've been accused of thinking I'm more important than anyone else.
Addendum: I knew that there was the possibility that I was misconstruing things and I totally was. I can now see the reasons for the little things I picked up on and they had to do with him being sick (the seeming to ignore me) and just not realizing he was bothering me which is my fault. I need to speak up more. Anyway, the problem with me working at home is still there. I'm expecting them to act like they're in an office in their own home. If I had space in the basement or a room offset from busy areas, it would be better. We have a small house. My room is right off the kitchen and bathroom and his shares a wall with mine. Also I am the only one who can close the door (by the kitchen) quietly. Disruption is inevitable. So I need to look at going to the office even though I don't want to. Or starting earlier while they are still asleep. Still hard to ask people to do nothing for 8 hours.
I work from home. Family is generally quiet but today there's been a lot of slamming around bringing camping gear in. Also the usual slamming of the microwave door and whatever. It always bothers me but I turn on a loud fan video or do whatever I have to to drown it out. I normally don't raise my voice about it and I held my tongue for hours today.
We have had a major conflict in the last year but the last few months we've gotten along OK and he's included me a little more in his life. I feel tension again today which I don't know is only on my side or what.
He was in the next room which shares a wall with me and I think was playing music or a music vid that was distracting me. I had had enough of the distractions and while it was not a huge deal, it really triggered me because of the bass sounds. Sometimes I feel like music is a weapon, especially since he has sung made-up lyrics about me at the top of his lungs when he was mad at me. This was probably totally unintentional but I got irritated since my productivity is down. I did raise my voice, though it probably sounded like every other time I've done that in frustration with my computer or monitor. In short, he may or may not have known he was bothering me. I regret saying anything and not just putting something on the speaker to drown it out, which I did secondarily. All seemed OK after a while and he went to the store. Came back all happy.
Then he went to feed the squirrels. He talks to them because he's silly. He literally said to one of them, as if the squirrel was saying it, "My snack is more important than anyone else's." This was specifically when I was in the kitchen in hearing distance. I can't really hear words if I'm in my room with the door closed. I could now and I wonder if that's why it was said. It felt like a dig at he thinks I'm saying my job is more important than what they want to do today. I've been accused of thinking I'm more important than anyone else.
Addendum: I knew that there was the possibility that I was misconstruing things and I totally was. I can now see the reasons for the little things I picked up on and they had to do with him being sick (the seeming to ignore me) and just not realizing he was bothering me which is my fault. I need to speak up more. Anyway, the problem with me working at home is still there. I'm expecting them to act like they're in an office in their own home. If I had space in the basement or a room offset from busy areas, it would be better. We have a small house. My room is right off the kitchen and bathroom and his shares a wall with mine. Also I am the only one who can close the door (by the kitchen) quietly. Disruption is inevitable. So I need to look at going to the office even though I don't want to. Or starting earlier while they are still asleep. Still hard to ask people to do nothing for 8 hours.
The best you can do (and I realize it's easier said than done) is do your utmost to just let this roll off your back and pretend he doesn't exist when he gets like this. People do this to get a reaction and it really pisses them off when they don't get that reaction.
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