Human Pinata, or How to Be a "Man."

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I told her that using her hand like a clamp, and squeezing down AS HARD AS SHE CAN is a pretty good idea.

Friend of mine, a man not much bigger than me, took down a neandertal twice his size doing just that. Took the fight right out of him. Guy was walking funny for two days.

TD probably has fingernails. If she doesn't, tell her to grow some at least on one hand (I play guitar, I can't have them on both). Digging into a guy's junk with her talons will get his attention.

[Jester]

First, Clapping both of the attackers ears at once will burst the eardrums and be very, very painful for anyone not hyped up on Meth or PCP-esque pain-ignoring drugs.

Prefreakincisely.

Second, if TD is interested in moving to Ohio...

A wonderful offer, but not very likely to happen. If she leaves here, she is almost certain to go to some other warm locale. Ohio, nothing personal, doesn't quite fit the bill.

Abusers can go batshit crazy once things go public.

They CAN, but most DON'T. Yes, shit like that happens. But that is, thankfully, the exception...not the rule. Not that we are ruling it out. Hell, we are hoping that if/when he is finally charged with a crime, they actually go for attempted murder rather than just assault and/or battery.

[Geek King]

Should probably have told her how to box someone's ears. Mental note: next time. It was actually a long discussion, done while I was, ironically, wielding a knife. (I was cooking.) Smart kid. Pretty sure she got it. Now I need to talk to my OTHER nieces about it. *sigh* Fucking idiot men.

First, Clapping both of the attackers ears at once will burst the eardrums and be very, very painful for anyone not hyped up on Meth or PCP-esque pain-ignoring drugs.

Second, if TD is interested in moving to Ohio, my complex has is available to renters, and is close to multiple resturaunts/stores where work can be had. PM me if you'd like details.

A girl I knew once had an abusive boyfriend, and took all the steps TD seems to be. One night, while a girlfriend of hers was keeping her company, abusive cocksucker broke in and shot her, the friend, then himself. I suggest TD move so the same doesn't happen to her. Abusers can go batshit crazy once things go public.

[protege]

And he most likely won't. Most guys who pick on women do so because they're too chickenshit to tangle with another guy, even if that guy is half his size.

Exactly. It's easier for them to pick on women. Some of you know the situation with my last girlfriend. For those who don't...

Before I met her, she was dating an asshole. He'd smack her around, stalk her, and just be an asshole towards her. After getting smacked around once too often, she dumped him, and it got worse--he'd follow her around campus, usually staying outside the buildings, and yelling at her in class Eventually, he started following us around when we'd go out to restaurants, the park, etc. Got so bad, we had to go to the next town over...

But, I got him good one afternoon. That was her nephew's birthday party...and her *mother* let the bastard inside the house After seeing how nervous she was, I scared the crap out of him. As we're washing up the dishes, I let it slip that if I found out he'd hurt her, or was hurting her, I'd kill him. With the last 3 words, I stuck the knife I was holding...into the counter! I know he saw that, because he was out the door, and I'd never seen a piece of shit move that fast

After that, he left her alone. He simply lacked the spheres to give me crap, even if I was half his size. Most abusers are like that--they look for people they can control or manipulate, and "puss out" when they can't.

[Jester]

I might ammend that to "eyes, knees, balls only if it's a gimee." Men instinctively guard their genitals. They EXPECT you to try for a crotch shot. Wasted shot, going for the balls right out of the gate. I think the eyes are the best target. Throat is good too, though. I just think eyes throw a person off more when you make that your target. It will take him by surpise and he might leave his junk unguarded for a second. THEN you go for the groin.

Problem with the eyes is it's hard to actually make your target. As my niece is slight of stature (translation: short) it may not always work for her. We DID discuss the whole crotch thing, not only that men may guard it, but also there are going to be certain situations where kicking or punching said jewels may not be feasible, due to being TOO close. In such situation, where possible, I told her that using her hand like a clamp, and squeezing down AS HARD AS SHE CAN is a pretty good idea. I also warned her, however, that with some men, such actions won't slow them down, but will only make them madder. (I am stunned by this....a mere scrape to the ya yas and I am down for the count!) We talked about a lot of things, including running away if possible, screaming your head off, contacting authorities, breaking kneecaps, stomping on feet, etc. Oh, damn. Should probably have told her how to box someone's ears. Mental note: next time. It was actually a long discussion, done while I was, ironically, wielding a knife. (I was cooking.) Smart kid. Pretty sure she got it. Now I need to talk to my OTHER nieces about it. *sigh* Fucking idiot men.

TD does understand that the restraining order will NOT protect her, I trust? Restraining orders are like toilet paper to people like this. It will, however, be something more she can charge him with, and that's a good thing. But it won't keep him off her.

Which is why she is still trying to get a warrant issued and have BB arrested. And if they won't do it, she will then be at the state attorney's office to file charges herself. We all know what a RO is. It's not useless, but it's not a shield itself.

Does she carry a weapon that she feels confident using?

I don't believe so. But I will talk to her about it. Thinking about maybe getting her some pepper spray. And as a joke, a baseball....so she can bean him in the eye the way she got "beaned." Crude? Sure. But she would get the joke, and laugh, so don't judge me too harshly.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I might ammend that to "eyes, knees, balls only if it's a gimee." Men instinctively guard their genitals. They EXPECT you to try for a crotch shot. Wasted shot, going for the balls right out of the gate. I think the eyes are the best target. Throat is good too, though. I just think eyes throw a person off more when you make that your target. It will take him by surpise and he might leave his junk unguarded for a second. THEN you go for the groin.

TD does understand that the restraining order will NOT protect her, I trust? Restraining orders are like toilet paper to people like this. It will, however, be something more she can charge him with, and that's a good thing. But it won't keep him off her.

Does she carry a weapon that she feels confident using? She might consider it. But only if she is ready and able to use it.

[Jester]

A PO box is a great idea, but if the idea is to keep her residential address a secret then it won't work. She has to list it on the restraining order...

As luck would have it, no. She asked about this at the court offices, and was told she can list her address as "confidential" on every part of the order he will be allowed to ever see. The court DID need her address, but that is a separate document that only the court has access to. Some courts are starting to wake up and smell the coffee in situations like this.

The RO states he can't come within X distance of her. Now, he could accidentally wander into the area she lives, but if he becomes aware of that, it is on him to leave said area. Him not knowing precisely where she lives is better than him being told "now don't go into that part of the forest, Mr. Wolf."

And with or without the RO, her job has banned him from the premises, period. He may not KNOW this yet, but if he ever enters said business, he will discover it rather quickly. Since he knows where she works, though, and either knows by now or will shortly know about the RO, he should be able to figure out that he can't go there.

[Kara]

Wouldn't sending him to Kansas be punishment enough?

Hardy Har.

*Looks around barren Midwestern wasteland she lives in and sighs.*

[auntiem]

I'm glad she has a temp. order in place. A PO box is a great idea, but if the idea is to keep her residential address a secret then it won't work. She has to list it on the restraining order if she has one that lists a radius (stupid I know). Hopefully he won't figure that out.

[Jester]

Can I hire you? I know of some...people...that could use a little *cough* 'taking care of'... *shiftyeyes*

"Bodyguard" is not the same as "hit man." Yes, I know you were joking, just making a point that I am not hunting down BB, just trying to keep TD safe. And I should point out that I am not alone in this. Several other people have stepped up to the plate and are helping TD out. She is, for example, taking care of many things today while I sit here and type on my computer...another friend is driving her around. I don't want you folks to think that this is just me. It's not.

Just in case its not been said Jester, Kudos to you for sticking up for and being there for your friends, Look after yourself, don't want to hear of Jester in hospital/jail now.

Neither of which is very likely. At least not from THIS situation......

UPDATE: The restraining order was approved as a temporary injunction. A court date has been set for the more permanent RO. At which TD is almost certain to come face to face with BB. She will have many friends with her, because while no one believes BB would try anything in court, just coming face to face with him will be emotionally taxing on TD. While I do hope the little bastard doesn't show up, which would be an automatic approval of the permanent RO (it going uncontested), I find that possibility to be very unlikely. I am sure in court he will try to paint himself out to not be a threat to TD, explaining his side of what happened. Which, if it weren't so tragic, might be rather comical in its completely disconnect from the facts. Also, at some point today TD should be able to pick up the medical report from the doctor's, which will definitely help in court. She has found a new place to live (another friend stepping up to help, who had an extra room), and is looking into getting a PO Box for her mail.

One small positive that has come out of this for me: it ennabled me to talk to my younger niece about the situation, not just about physically defending herself from a guy like BB, but how women in this situation often feel embarrassed or at fault about it, and while she probably couldn't understand that now, to know that it is nothing to be embarrassed about, and it is not the victim's fault, and that both those reactions are actually quite common, and that if anything like this ever happened to her, to know she could and should talk to her mom, the authorities, me, her ex-stepfather, or any other adult she knows she can trust. And that not all guys like BB show their true colors early on.

And I also got to discuss with her various physical ways to disable a potential male attacker. To her credit, she is a bright kid--when I first mentioned that, she immediately piped up with: "Throat, balls, knees." I was so proud. So, don't fuck with Jester, and don't fuck with Jester's niece, it would seem.

[crazylegs]

Big Bastard's arsehole seriously needs to make the acquaintance of a large, rusty chainsaw, asap.

No, no, no. Far too blunt.

Barbed wire inside bamboo, insert bamboo (with wire still inside) remove bamboo but leave wire, then pull. Then his arse and mouth will be truely interchangable.

Just in case its not been said Jester, Kudos to you for sticking up for and being there for your friends, Look after yourself, don't want to hear of Jester in hospital/jail now.

[Amethyst Hunter]

Bodyguard with a baseball bat? Why, that would be Jester's Chaufferial Services.

Can I hire you? I know of some...people...that could use a little *cough* 'taking care of'... *shiftyeyes*

But seriously, I really hope that things go all right for TD and that the both of you will be safe. Big Bastard's arsehole seriously needs to make the acquaintance of a large, rusty chainsaw, asap.

[Jester]

And he most likely won't. Most guys who pick on women do so because they're too chickenshit to tangle with another guy, even if that guy is half his size.

In most instances, I would agree with you. In this one, I wouldn't wager on that. BB has a history of violence, and not just against women. I won't go into the few details I know, but let's just say I am not "stepping into danger" not expecting there to be any. BB is a dangerous and violent person, and his rap sheet was not earned simply by pushing around his girlfriends. I have no doubt that if he felt it was necessary or justifiable, he would take a swing at me, or whoever TD happened to be with that day.

[XCashier]

I must admit to not having pigs that need feeding

BB would probably make the pigs sick anyway. But I understand that Florida has a lot of alligators...

Thank you for keeping us updated, Jester, and thank you for being a good friend to TD and a good human being. The world needs more people like you.

[MadMike]

Bring it.

Seriously, I know I am not a big guy, and I know this guy could squash me like a grape. But fucking bring it.

And he most likely won't. Most guys who pick on women do so because they're too chickenshit to tangle with another guy, even if that guy is half his size.

I had a friend who, like yours, was in an abusive relationship. It used to get me so angry when she'd be crying on my shoulder about him the one day, and then going back with him the next. And naturally, I hated that S.O.B., but he was always trying to get on my good side. For people like him, I have no good side.

One night, my roommate invited me along to a party that he knew about, knowing that my friend would be there, but not knowing that her boyfriend would also be there. And apparently, I told him off, but don't remember doing it. What I do remember is him confronting me, asking me why I don't like him, and then things got kind of fuzzy. Next thing I remember was him threatening to "fuck me up", and then walking away. This was a big guy, and at the time I weighed 145 soaking wet, and he was too chickenshit to lay a hand on me.