Human Pinata, or How to Be a "Man."

[auntiem]

I'm glad she has people to "circle the wagons" around her. Here they offer free counseling when you get a restraining order - hopefully she is offered this and takes them up on it even if she thinks she doesn't need it.
I suggest (from experience) that she read her restraining order very carefully to make sure she doesn't violate it herself (ex. inviting him in to talk if he isn't being a douche) and what exactly she has to do if he walks into a public space that she is in (ex. a bar - she might have leave and if she doesn't that might violate the order). Is she going to also add his friend's names since his threat implyed they would also be a danger?

Good luck on the contest!

[MadMike]

Wow.

I am by no means a model guy, but I would never lay a hand on a woman. Well, unless it was self-defense, but that's a whole other situation altogether.

I'm glad she did what very few people seem willing to do, and actually pressed charges against his worthless ass. Hopefully he meets with an even bigger guy who doesn't think much of guys who beat up women.

[Rahmota]

Well thats good that she is being taken care of. Keep up the good work.

Figured it was some sort of paperwork issue. Most officers I know when its something seriously bad domestic like that they umm accidentally drop or step on the guy a few times getting him in the car. You know little accidental stuff....But yeah sad to say the domestic call is one of the more common and unpleasant ones an officer faces.

[Jester]

Okay, here is what happened with the foulup when BB was cuffed but then released.

The officers who found BB were not the officers who took TD's report, so did not realize the severity of the situation, or the extent of TD's injuries. They probably assumed that it was "just another domestic violence thing." Now, before anyone jumps on the cops or me for that, remember, the police deal with a lot of domestic violence calls that are mutual spats, minor scrapes, couples arguing, etc. A good portion of these calls are, when it comes down to it, not that serious. That being said, generally speaking when the cops are aware of a serious domestic violence situation, such as the current one, they tend to go out of their way to put things right.

And our local boys are doing just that. The detective in charge of TD's case called her to explain the foulup, and to tell her that they would be seeking a warrant today from the judge, and then serving the warrant on BB ASAP. He also said that part of the problem was the delay in reporting the incident--she reported it the day after, so it was not an ongoing situation, as it were. TD could not report it sooner, as she was with BB up until he dropped her off for work, and she couldn't get away from him before then. Upon being dropped off she immediately went about contacting the authorities. The detective also said that if the officers who had found BB had known of the extent of TD's injuries, they never would have let him go.

So really no one is at fault here that I can see, other than BB and an honest mistake by the officers who initially found BB.

TD is currently at the doctor's office, where I dropped her off under my own version of armed security--my Louisville Slugger in my hand--which no one in the office questioned much when TD took off her sunglasses. (Hopefully they didn't think *I* did that to her! )

I am doing some prep work for a bartending contest I am in later this afternoon, and will be picking up TD when she is done at the doc's. After that, another friend, RM, will be taking TD to the appropriate place for filing a restraining order. I would do that, as well, but I do have the contest, and TD and RM understand that. If it were a choice between the contest or TD, I would withdraw from the contest, of course, but the fact is TD is still getting to the place she needs to go. So all is well.....for the moment.

More as it happens.

[crazylegs]

Good to hear its going right for her, also nice to hear Jester is looking out for her.

[Jester]

Oy.. Sometimes Bureaucracy makes some baaaaad mojo. I hope the idiots responsible for that foulup are disciplined.

Nah....the cops involved were just doing their job, from what I heard. Something about jurisdictional whatever whatever. Hey, as long as the dude is bagged and tagged, I have no beef with our local Blue Boys.

I hope TD has someplace safe to stay, someplace BB can't get to.

She does. Without going into details, her current locale might as well be Ft. Knox as far as BB is concerned....if he ever even thought to look for her there.

No more updates at this time....leaving shortly to drive TD to the doc, and then to the appropriate gov't building for the restraining order. Will keep y'all posted.

[MystyGlyttyr]

Okay, got the recipe.

about 1/3 cup of habanero juice
1/2 cup of lemon juice
1 cup of water boiled with one teaspoon of cayenne pepper

Stir the two juices into the water and pepper, then boil them together for five minutes. Then pour them through a strainer into a cup of vinegar-the more acidic, the better-and stir. Keep in a small metal bottle that you can easily carry and that preferably has both squirt and mist functions. Squirt is preferable in most cases, but a heavy mist has it's moments. Try to stay downwind, heh heh.

[CaroPhoenix]

I know I'm a little late, but Bravo and Huzzah to Tiny Dancer for getting the cops involved with this.

Give us an update ASAP. I want to know if her injuries have definitely been documented and if she's okies physically & mentally and if Big Boy has definitely been arrested yet.

[Soulstealer]

Big Boy isn't such a Big Boy if he has to hit girls to get his point across. Pussy.

Let me at him.

He's not good enough to have a pussy. Finals will be over soon so I've no motive and I do enjoy a good beating... I mean justice.

[Der Cute]

Jester:

Tell TD she's doing a good job. Over a year ago I was almost choked to unconsciousness by a "friend". And before that ..years ago...was in a domestic violence.

Its not fun, hell no, not easy, hell no, but when you come out knowing YOU DID THE RIGHT THING AND THEY'RE IN THE CAN.. it feels very good.

Pictures w/ time, date, location. Doctor visit should also take pictures -and you'll get a doctor's comments along w/ the pics. Make sure she knows about restraining orders, going to court, pressing charges ...all of it. It's long and drawn out process, never gets done fast enough IMO.

Night after I was choked I was in shock. Took me almost 3 days to come back out of it and start FEELING things. Irrational, crying, upset, why me, may be included.

Does she have a place to stay? Cell phone w/ names/numbers? Does boss know about restraining order/ trespass? Got the police report file number and a cop's phone number with her at all times? Copy of restraining order?

Good luck..

Cutenoob

[blas]

Big Boy isn't such a Big Boy if he has to hit girls to get his point across. Pussy.

Let me at him.

[Rapscallion]

Let me know as breaking his kneecaps develops.

Thought I'd edit a little something from this side of the pond.

Rapscallion

[MystyGlyttyr]

This sounds exactly like several other shitstains I've had to deal with over the years. They're almost always the exact same type. But as several others have mentioned, in this case, T.D. did the right thing to report his ass.

Jester, if you'd like, I can give you my recipe for homemade pepper spray and you can stir her up a batch. You'll have to give me a chance to go home and remember how much of which particular ingrediants go in it, though. I remember there's habanero, lemon, and cayenne in it...maybe vinegar, can't recall...but the exact quantities I won't remember until I can measure the cups I use to mix it. (It's also good for clearing a blocked nose...) Anyway, it wouldn't hurt give her something like that to carry around. Now, in all seriousness, I AM going to run home and measure the ingrediants because I'm sure there's a few folks who wouldn't mind having a cheap and easy method of self-defense to keep handy. Honestly, any ONE of those three, particularly the habanero, would be good, but the bunch of them together...yeah, let's just say you want a metal bottle to keep it in, plastic is NO GOOD.

[XCashier]

Very current update: due to bureaucratic idiocy, Big Boy, while he was located and even cuffed last night, was not, in fact, arrested. The officer who told Tiny Dancer this (I just got off the phone with her), told her that they ARE going to go before a judge tomorrow and seek a warrant for Big Boy's arrest, and if they get it (likely), they will serve it immediately and haul his ass in.

I hope TD has someplace safe to stay, someplace BB can't get to. You know he's going to try to "get even with her" for going to the police.

Still, she was very brave and very smart to go straight to the police, instead of rationalizing it like too many women do ("He really does love me, I just pushed him too far" yadda yadda yadda). And you're a good friend and a true mensch for standing up for her and helping her out.

I hope he gets a nice long stay at the Greybar Hotel. Or a fun trip through The millstone and ocean idea is a good one, too...sharks gotta eat too.

[crazylegs]

Big Boy, small brain, smaller d1ck.

Am really hoping for som serious jail time for this idiot, Domestic Abuse is foul, anyone found to commit it should in fact have old royal navy punishments inflicted, one after the other (gauntlet, flogging and keel haul).

(if anyone wants explanation of gauntlet, let me know).