The Singles Awareness Day (Feb. 14th) 2009 Thread!!!

[Shpepper]

I spent the day shopping with my mom and the evening finding new music. I've never been a big fan of V Day even as a kid. Last year it was made sucky by the fact that my husband thought he had to do something and did thoughtless things. This year i don't have to deal with him anymore. He ran home to Momma in November.

So this was actually one of my better V Days

[edible_hat]

I worked for 8 hours, then visited my future in-laws and sat around playing WoW and drinking wine that was way better than it had any right to be considering what I paid for it.

Because I had to get up early on the day, my fiance and I exchanged gifts the night before. I got chocolate and underwear, she got assorted gourmet candy.

[Nyoibo]

I don't have a problem with Valentines day so much as the commercialism of it, and having it shoved in my face reminding me of what I don't have and made to feel like there's something wrong with me because I don't.

[smileyeagle1021]

Well, I'm sitting at home....alone.... and very pissed and upset and hurt. .

hey, look at it this way... you could be sitting at WORK... alone... and very pissed and upset and hurt...

that would be me.

[Slytovhand]

Well, I began the day working, then went home and slept, woke up, did some exercisey type stuff after checking emails and the like.. then came to work again... great!

oh, I apparently got an sms, but I haven't returned it, and it was just a basic "how are you" thing.

So - yet another eventful and meaningless day gone

[AdminAssistant]

I ate most of a DiGiorno's pizza, watched Kill Bill, Vol. 1...in the middle of that got the 'busy tonight, sry' message from BoyThing. Proceeded to get really upset, cried for a few hours, drank myself silly, and passed out around 1.

I suppose he's one of those that thinks it's just 'another day' but it's really not. And I'm sorry, but I like roses and candies and fluffy girly stuff like that. My birthday isn't just 'another day' and if there's not cake and candles at some point I'm going to be upset. I'm still pretty ticked...he has to work today, but I'm hoping we can talk at some point. It's another straw on the camel's back....

[Jester]

I get to work from 6pm until midnight (Central time).

I spent the entire day working. And when I say "entire day," I mean I worked from 9 am until about 4:45 pm waiting tables at a busy Waterfront Bar, had a brief break to eat some grub, and then waited tables at The Bar from 6 pm until about 11 pm, where once again I was busy, though surprisingly not with couples, but with several large parties.

It was a great day--I made some decent money, and personally celebrated the two important things that February 14th means to me: the 52 anniversary of when my parents married, and the 97th birthday of my home State of Arizona, which officially joined the Union on February 14, 1912.

I refuse to rain on anyone's parade over a holiday set aside to celebrate romance.

I get so ticked off at all this negativity over the holiday.

Even at that, I never got all pissy about the celebration of this day.

Before I had a child I didn't get bent out of shape about a holiday like Mother's or Father's Day set aside to honour parenthood.

It's just a commercialized holiday celebrating romance, the same as every other holiday in honour of stuff.

Not everyone here who is anti-Valentine's Day is necessarily raining on the parades of those who are celebrating it. I myself do not begrudge ANYONE their enjoyment of this particular day, despite my personal feelings about it. I know I am not alone in this.

Mother's Day and, to a lesser degree, Father's Day are certainly over-commercialized, as are most holidays in this overly commercialized society. However, and this is an important distinction, they are NOT marketed in a way that makes people feel guilty or wrong if they aren't celebrating it. Yes, I am sure that there are people who, for whatever reasons, can't stand Mother's Day. But there are a LOT of people who despise Valentine's Day, probably more than any other single holiday. And it IS the crass and overdone marketing that is associated with it, not to mention the materialism that (some) girls place on it. "You didn't buy me any jewelry? You don't love me!"

I look down my nose at this holiday not only for the ridiculous marketing and commercials (especially from the jewelry industry, who can eat my shorts), but also because, to me, it is an "apology holiday." It is the day of the year that every dude who can't get his shit together with his girlfriend/wife/whatever can save face by buying her this, that, or the other, and make a stab at faking this whole romance thing. Frankly, as a full-time romantic, who likes doing things on a regular basis for whomever I might be dating, I find this alleged holiday insulting and demeaning. I also find disturbing the number of women (because, let's face it, this IS a woman's holiday, for the most part) who believe that if their guy didn't do anything for them, he sucks. Including if he was working, had other commitments, or (as one poster noted) happened to be stationed somewhere far away with the military. That girl, sadly, is not atypical.

Look Ree, as I said, I do not begrudge anyone their right to enjoy this holiday with that certain someone, if they have someone, or to wish for someone if they don't. I think it is great that you are not dwelling on how negative this holiday could have been for you, but rather are reflecting on how many wonderful Valentine's Days you had with your husband. It may surprise some people to know that I am all about celebrating the positive over dwelling on the negative. Well, I try to be, anyways. (Some negative things I have trouble moving on from, I'll admit.) I think it is wonderful that so many people, despite the huge negative sentiment against it, enjoy this holiday in whatever way they do.

But that does not mean I have to like it, or put up with the people and companies that are determined to shove it in my face. Whether or not I have a girlfriend, every Valentine's Day is to me a blazing crock of shit. Most of the girls I have dated have either agreed with me on this, or at least understood my position on it. And most of them have also not had a problem with this position, since they know from personal experience that I do not need one particular day of the year for romance. I don't need an apology holiday.

I make a point out of working as much as possible each and every February 14th, whether I am single or involved. It is good money and it allows me to effectively ignore the so-called holiday.

I suppose he's one of those that thinks it's just 'another day' but it's really not. And I'm sorry, but I like roses and candies and fluffy girly stuff like that. My birthday isn't just 'another day' and if there's not cake and candles at some point I'm going to be upset.

I'm sorry that you, AA, and many others were not able to enjoy this day. I hope things improve. I really do.

A boyfriend/husband who forgets your birthday is a cad. That is a special day to YOU, not one particular day set aside for everyone and their uncle to show how romantic they can be one day a year. Remember, guys, you don't have to wait for their birthday or this (ridiculous, overly commercialized, endlessly hyped, annoyingly materialistic) holiday to give your girl roses, candies, and fluffy girly stuff. And by the way, that goes for you women as well. There is no rule that you can't do something special for your guy on whatever days are special to him. I once had a girlfriend show up to watch a football playoff game looking very sexy in my team's colors. THAT was sweet, and something I very much appreciated, and remember even now, 15 years or so later. Sadly, so much of this holiday IS geared towards guys bending over backwards to express their romantic inclinations to women. It doesn't have to be that way, on this day or any other. Romance, in my opinion, is something that should be expressed often, not just on certain days.



The above sentiments and rants notwithstanding, I DO hope that everyone here who celebrates Valentine's Day enjoyed their day to the utmost. I also hope that everyone here who celebrates it as Singles Awareness Day enjoyed your single day or anti-VD day equally as much.



Now, if you folks will excuse me, I am going to go spend some time on this, my day off after working approximately 12 hours yesterday, with my true love, and the one love interest in my life who has never let me down: Amanda, my bicycle. If anyone needs me, they can wait, as Amanda and I have about 40 miles worth of love we want to knock out.

[Ree]

I think there is pressure on people to celebrate, no matter what the holiday, and pretty much every holiday has become commercialized and overdone, so I still don't understand why this holiday has to be such a thorn in everyone's side.

Yeah, when I was alone, I admit to feeling like I was missing out, and my loneliness was probably emphasized more for me on that day, but I didn't get all bitter and think that it was a stupid day that people should just ignore or rename to "Singles' Awareness".

While I agree that love is something that should be recognized and expressed all year long, I don't really have an issue with setting aside just one day to recognize it.

We could probably say the same thing about most holidays and other days of recognition.

We should think every day of contributions made by soldiers, so why set aside one particular day to recognize it on Veteran's Day or Memorial Day?

Martin Luther King was a remarkable man and his life is something that should be remembered and considered constantly, so why have one special day to recognize his contribution to society?

Parents should be respected by their children all year, so why set aside special days for them? Same for grandparents.

The list goes on...

Life gets busy, and most people do show their partners that they love them on a daily basis, but what's really so horrible about setting aside one day to celebrate love, (other than the fact that the card, candy and flower companies have found a way to make a buck from it)?

If anyone feels pressured that they simoply have to get their SO something shiny and pretty or else they don't love them enough, then they have a bit of a problem.

It's not that I don't recognize that not everyone is going to be in a happy and stable love relationship, and having all this schmaltzy advertiisng shoved in their face doesn't help, but I just don't really see why it's become so trendy to hate on this whole Valentine's thing.

I guess I really have always preferred to focus on the positive rather than seeing things only in a negative light.

[Evil Queen]

Well. I'm going to weigh in here. Yes, I have a boyfriend, but he doesn't believe in Valentines Day. I kinda don't, but hell, a freaking card would have still been nice.

We did, however, spend the evening watching Chocolate stuff on Food Network and The History Channel. And snuggling on the couch. It was raining so we didn't bother going out.

[AdminAssistant]

I wouldn't have minded so much if I'd had some notice. On Friday, we were hanging out and I asked him before I left "So...tomorrow night?" and he said, "Well, I was supposed to hang out with *other male friend* but I dunno. I'll call you when I know something." Well, 6:00 comes and goes and I start getting hungry and wondering what's going on, so I ask him via text and he doesn't get around to answering 'til 8:30. If he had said, on Friday night, "Well, I've already planned to do something, so why don't we celebrate next weekend?" Then I could've spent Saturday rounding up gal pals to do something last night. By the time he let me know, it was too late to call anyone - and most of my friends up here are married or in involved in various relationships, so....yeah. It's just....I mean, if he can't get his shit together on Valentine's Day for fuck's sake..when there's constant reminders all over...I just don't know.

Jester, I do agree with you that it shouldn't be limited to one day. I've actually got a present that I've been holding on to, waiting for the right moment (it's a USB card in a cassette tape holder...sort of a modernized 'mix tape').

*sigh* I hope it gets better too...but I have a feeling that it's just going to be over soon. I'm tired of dealing with it and I really don't think he'd care one way or the other.

[Akasa]

AdminAssistant that was a really assholeish thing to do to you.

Ree you have obviously not had your nose rubbed in being single year after year. I'm glad. It sucks and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it does happen and lets face it you get enough of that behavior year after year you tend to hate the cause of it.

This year I spent the day in bed with a fever, a cough, and a runny nose. I've had worse years sadly.

[Dave1982]

or do what I did on New Years' ...spend the entire day in bed or building models.

HA!!!! That's pretty much exactly what I did! I worked the early shift, then spent the rest of the day alternating between working on my model airplanes and playing The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (the Ice Dungeon can kiss my ass, by the way!!)


Aside from that bit of amusement, reading through this thread (a day late) was more than a little depressing. I've never even HAD a girlfriend, so yeah, "Singles Awareness Day" is a very apt description of this so-called "holiday" for me. There have been many girls I've been good friends with, but it's always been just that - friends. It doesn't help that I'm a very quiet, shy guy in person.

Can someone answer this question for me? Why is it that whenever one finds themselves attracted to someone, and it seems like there a "spark" or "connection", it always turns out that that person is already in a relationship?! Or if they aren't in a relationship, they reject you? It's just not fair.

[Akasa]

Can someone answer this question for me? Why is it that whenever one finds themselves attracted to someone, and it seems like there a "spark" or "connection", it always turns out that that person is already in a relationship?! Or if they aren't in a relationship, they reject you? It's just not fair.

I would love to answer that question for you, but I don't know you well enough to give you any insights. You may be reading the signals completely wrong. That's all I have for you Dave.

[Thrifty]

Wanted to say something about those who like V-day and the way I think of it...

See I don't think of Valentine's day as just a day to celebrate a relationship your in. I think of it as a day to show love to all people, and to have fun with it.

For this Valentine's day I had flowers delievered to my work, and then put them in vases for my co-workers. This worked two fold because I got to give my lovely co-workers flowers, and help out a local flower shop with their business.

I also made goodie bags for all the clients in the house (I work at an inpatient substance abuse treatment center). They loved them and it was great to see their faces when they got a present.

Also gave my mom this beautiful white bloomed rose, and enjoyed seeing the happienss on her face.

Oh and surprised my husband at work with balloons and two tickets to a hockey game. He was really excited, hasn't been to a game in 29 years.

Now I could and have done stuff like this at random times throughout the year (I especially like doing things for the clients). I just think of V-day as one more day to do something special, especially when love in in the air...

[Jester]

Can someone answer this question for me? Why is it that whenever one finds themselves attracted to someone, and it seems like there a "spark" or "connection", it always turns out that that person is already in a relationship?! Or if they aren't in a relationship, they reject you? It's just not fair.

Dave, I got news for you: life isn't fair. You can either accept that and do something to change your situation, or you can complain about it.

I used to complain about it. Then I did something about it. For a while after that, I complained about it. Now I am once again taking control of my own life and making things happen that would have seemed virtually impossible to me just a short time ago.

Look, I can't tell you what is going on in your life, and why things have worked out for you the way they have. I CAN tell you that the only person who can change things in your life is you. After all, the one common denominator running throughout your life is....you.

This is not meant in any way to be depressing or a condemnation. Far from it, this is meant to perhaps wake you up to the possibilities of positive thinking and how YOU can change YOUR life for the better. Yes, there are times when the Fates seem to conspire against us. I know that as well as anyone. But even when it seems that nothing seems to be working in your favor, you need to look beyond that, to rise above it, and find ways to make things work towards your advantage.

"But Jester, you are an outgoing, vivacious guy. I'm a quiet and shy guy. What the hell would YOU know about my life?!?!?"

Believe it or not, I used to be a shy, quiet introvert. Shocking, I know, but true. And even very recently in my life, even to this day, I am often shy when it comes to approaching women I am interested in. Well, not approaching them per se (I can talk to anyone), but in broaching the subject of romance or something beyond friendship.

But be that as it may, in the end you are right. I don't know you, nor the particulars of your life. But you do. Which brings me back to my main point: only you can change this.

See I don't think of Valentine's day as just a day to celebrate a relationship your in. I think of it as a day to show love to all people, and to have fun with it.

I just think of V-day as one more day to do something special, especially when love in in the air...

You freakin' rock! And if everyone treated the way you do, it would be a much more tolerable, even enjoyable, holiday.

Sadly, they do not.