Asberger's - advice?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Just remember; its you neurotypicals who are the weirdos. We are normal.

[Shpepper]

There's one other thing that I have realized that I forgot to say.

Thank you One-Fang for asking someone what you might do. I realized as I read through this thread that no one thanked you for being so considerate. So many times people will just walk away or not bother to deal with someone who is different in any way. It could be the situation here or it could be that they use a wheelchair. Your caring for your coworker makes me feel really happy. So THANK YOU ! ! ! !

[Toujin]

I never understood the eye contact thing either. I actually find being stared at unnerving.

I'm a collector too, my room is cluttered with D&D books, video game strategy guides, and manga.

[Dreamstalker]

And then can we throw them into your Cuisinart?

Sure

We Yanks, AFAIK, are the only ones who make it our hallmark to have eye contact.

I don't get that either...maybe something to do with the lovely history of picking fights with everything? (but other cultures did that as well...)

I'm up for another neuropsych evaluation next week (to help with finding a job). I personally am interested in the results, as it seems in recent years fewer and fewer AS traits have actually fit me.

[One-Fang]

Thanks all. Awesome advice, and I learned a few things about AS.

The volume thing is likely. I have noticed he can sometimes be a bit louder than social convention dictates. Not horribly, just ... a little bit.

Quite often he initiates touching, by handshake or high five. I'm wondering if that's a learned thing. I had noticed it as more than others do, perhaps he's "overcompensating". Or maybe he's just different to y'all.

The collections thing is interesting. I might throw that in one day and ask if he collects. Wouldn't surprise me. He's very organised.

As for the questions thing - YAY!! You mean finally a friend who I can pretty much trust means what they say?! Whoo hoooo!!!! I don't play "the game". I don't 'get' "the game". So I mean what I say, and much to my detriment sometimes, say what I mean. It's meant the end of some friendships, and I'm baffled by some people who obviously are playing "the game" and will be confusing and contradictory. So yippee if AS means this is a guy who is straightforward and honest. Couldn't be happier about that.

As for "don't treat him differently" yeah, I don't really want to. I mean, I've always felt that disabled people, gays, other races, or whatever, everyone deserves to be treated exactly the same. And I know the TV ads over here for mental disabilities push that you just treat people exactly the same regardless. But while I certainly do not intend to suddenly treat somebody differently, I think there's also some leeway for understanding the symptoms and issues of a disease and adjusting accordingly.

Interestingly, he is American and says he's having difficulty adjusting here in NZ to how readily he is accepted, even when he says he's got AS. Apparently over there it's just too easy to overlook someone, pass on them, pass over them, ignore them, move on, etc. Here, people go "so what?" and he's not used to it.

Thanks Shpepper - I made someone happy today, yay!

[Lace Neil Singer]

I initiate touching; it means that I get to be in control about how far it goes. I hate it when someone suddenly touches my arm, or pats my shoulder, and I haven't said they could. My boyf is used to this; he tends to ask me first before he hugs or kisses me and my friends wait for me to hug them before they return it.

I hoard rather than collect; I adore my junk and hate throwing anything away. XD I used to collect "Things I Find By The Road." XD