How to be a good customer when dining out

[Only_Human]

I just wrote this for fun to rant. Enjoy


As I have had a few years experience as a server/wait manager I thought it would be useful to write a guide to dining out for people who have never waited tables, not just as a rant but to see what a server is thinking.

Being Seated-
Restaurants are not fast food establishments, so please do not seat yourself unless there is a sign or someone asks you to. Reason- we may not notice you have sat down, you probably did not get yourself a menu so you are stuck sitting there until we bring you one, and the server in the section you sat in may have just got several new tables...so you wont be helped as fast as being in the section you were going to be put in.If the restaurant seems busy (the staff is running around everywhere and there are many tables full) we see you at the door and we will greet you and seat you as soon as possible so please be patient. Waiting to be seated and see open tables and wonder why the hell you haven't been seated? Simple answer- the restaurant is trying to catch up or they are most likely under staffed.



worst offense- seating yourself at a dirty table...that shows no class.

Ordering-
Please do not ignore us/cut us off if we say hello or ask how you are doing. We are people too. We do not mind waiting until you are ready to order, but please do not wave us down, say you are ready to order, then take 5-10 minutes ordering because you still have not decided. Special orders are not a problem as long as they are within reason, no more than 2-3 changes to a dish. If you ask for a side of something or something extra you will most likely be charged for it, so read the menu and don't get mad that we didn't tell you there was a charge. (Example- side or sour cream/ guacamole etc..) Last...PLEASE do not ask "how much is this..." it makes you look cheap and lazy because all you have to do is read your menu.

Getting the servers attention-
You do not need to frantically wave to get your servers attention, eye contact is very effective. DO NOT try to get your servers attention or talk to them when they are talking to another table. It's called interrupting and it is rude not only to the server but the other customers.

Complaining-
Servers do not own the place or make the food, so please do not be rude to us if you do not like something we had no control over. If you have a problem with your dish, it's ok to send it back as long as you haven't eaten it. We want you to enjoy your meal and most servers are happy to fix any problems you might have.

Children-
No we don't like your kids jumping up and down the booth and throwing sugar and food all over the place. We are the ones who have to clean up after you. It's not hard to control your kids or pick up after them. If you insist on leaving a disaster, at least tip accordingly or you are simply a jerk.

Paying the bill-
Please understand no matter what you do, separate checks take up much of our time and are very inconvenient (not to mention make you look cheap). Splitting the bill in half is ok, but no more than two ways. Simply bring cash and pitch in if none of you can afford to pay the entire bill. Some people ask for 2,5 even 10 separate checks!!! That means we have to run several different credit cards and get change for cash paid checks. This gives us less time to help our other customers. If you must pay in separate checks, pay so that they do not need to get you change for 10 different checks or tip a little more for the trouble.

Tipping-
Do not punish the servers tip if they had no control over something (food taste or how fast the food came out) or if there was a problem you had and did not let them know. How are they supposed to read your mind? A tip for normal service is 15%, great service is 20%. If you leave less than 15% and you had great service, it is incredibly rude and the server will wonder what they did wrong. Servers get paid less than minimum wage and are taxed heavily so they rely on tips for income. If you can't afford to tip or do not believe in tipping, eat at places that don't require it (places that don't have wait staff coming to your table and serving you)...very simple.

Leaving-
After you pay, please leave. Staying more than an hour or two is very inconvenient because the restaurant can't get new customers. If you want to stay and hang out, at least tip accordingly because you have been waited on for a long long time.

Closing time....
Please be aware of closing hours, 15-30 minutes after closing isn't great but ok. Just don't stay longer than that. Also don't come in right before the restaurant is supposed to close if there are no customers inside...its inconvenient and the staff will not like you.

Well that's about it, lastly just remember one thing...your server is not your servant, they are your server. Being a customer does not give you royal blood and make you better than the people helping you. They are human beings just like you and have feelings so treat them accordingly.

[Peppergirl]

I agree with the vast majority of these. May I add the following:

Hot Tea - It's a pain in the ass. Stop ordering it.

Splitting of entrees or ordering off the kids menu - Yes, I understand the economy is tough. I also understand that many people don't have big appetites, but I *hated* when people took it out on me when I wasn't allowed to let them order off the kids menu.


More later.


PS - You'll probably get reamed on the check splitting thing. I tend to agree with you, but as long as I was told AHEAD OF TIME and had a decent POS system that allowed the split, I didn't usually mind.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Also, some people here don't come from countries where it's custom to always tip. Where I come from, servers get tipped for good service, but lousy service will get nothing. I will keep this brief cuz I don't want to start a flame war.

Also, I used to work in a pizza place; we had a rule about returning food. As in, if a customer had just taken a few bites, then they could return the pizza and get a replacement or refund. However, if they'd gobbled down the whole lot, then they couldn't. There were loads of SCs who guzzled their pizza, then rang up to complain about it being burned (impossible in a standard takeaway pizza oven), cold, the wrong pizza etc and demanding refunds/replacements. Then, on being told to come to the shop and bring the pizza along, we'd get the response, "But... I've eaten it!/my kids were hungry so they ate it!" So it can't have been that bad, therefore no refund. -.-

[draggar]

Ordering-
Please do not ignore us/cut us off if we say hello or ask how you are doing. We are people too. We do not mind waiting until you are ready to order, but please do not wave us down, say you are ready to order, then take 5-10 minutes ordering because you still have not decided.

I always make eye contact with the server and I try to be polite with them.

Getting the servers attention-
You do not need to frantically wave to get your servers attention, eye contact is very effective. DO NOT try to get your servers attention or talk to them when they are talking to another table. It's called interrupting and it is rude not only to the server but the other customers.

My little hint to the wait staff - I know that the staff is busy but when my drink is empty, I'll put the empty glass near the end of the table (towards the outside if its a booth). Part of my tip will be based on how quickly (if at all) the drink gets refilled.

Complaining-
Servers do not own the place or make the food, so please do not be rude to us if you do not like something we had no control over. If you have a problem with your dish, it's ok to send it back as long as you haven't eaten it. We want you to enjoy your meal and most servers are happy to fix any problems you might have.

Tipping-
Do not punish the servers tip if they had no control over something (food taste or how fast the food came out) or if there was a problem you had and did not let them know. How are they supposed to read your mind? A tip for normal service is 15%, great service is 20%. If you leave less than 15% and you had great service, it is incredibly rude and the server will wonder what they did wrong. Servers get paid less than minimum wage and are taxed heavily so they rely on tips for income. If you can't afford to tip or do not believe in tipping, eat at places that don't require it (places that don't have wait staff coming to your table and serving you)...very simple.

Yep, unless it is the wait staff's fault, I won't take it out on them and if the food is poorly prepared I'll speak to the manager about it (and make sure that if the wait staff was good, they'll know about that, too).

Leavin

g-
After you pay, please leave. Staying more than an hour or two is very inconvenient because the restaurant can't get new customers. If you want to stay and hang out, at least tip accordingly because you have been waited on for a long long time.

We're guilty of this sometimes but only if the restaurant isn't busy. If there are plenty of empty tables around us, then we may stay and chat (especially with going out with friends).

You'll never know - we may flag down someone to order anther round of appetizers or desserts (even after paying).

Closing time....
Please be aware of closing hours, 15-30 minutes after closing isn't great but ok. Just don't stay longer than that. Also don't come in right before the restaurant is supposed to close if there are no customers inside...its inconvenient and the staff will not like you..

This used to be my pet peeve when I worked in the deli / seafood departments in a grocery store. People coming up at 2 minutes before closing asking for a pound of roast beef, freshly cut, then a pound of muenster cheese, freshly cut, then a pound of red pastrami, freshly cut, and so on. I either had to clean the slicer in between each item or dirty up (so they'd have to be cleaned, again) multiple slicers.

The same in the seafood department - asking for the perfect piece of fish as I go though 30+ bins to find what you want and then you complain that it's been sitting out all day.

Also, some people here don't come from countries where it's custom to always tip. Where I come from, servers get tipped for good service, but lousy service will get nothing. I will keep this brief cuz I don't want to start a flame war.

I used to work with someone who told me she always brought a quarter with her to a restaurant. If you leave no tip then the server may think you just forgot and think they didn't do anything wrong. If she left the quarter, that was a sign. She's acknowledging that she is tipping but leaving just about the worst tip possible (she rarely left a quarter tip, though - the service had to be really bad).

Hot Tea - It's a pain in the ass. Stop ordering it.

??? Just bring out a mug of hot water and a tea bag? How hard is it for people to dunk their own teabag in the water?

[Peppergirl]

??? Just bring out a mug of hot water and a tea bag? How hard is it for people to dunk their own teabag in the water?

In some restaurants, a big production is made over it. I should have clarified.

[draggar]

I guess I don't frequent those high end establishments.

[Parrothead]

A request to waitstaff: Please don't ask how everything is just after someone takes a bite. It's annoying.

[Lace Neil Singer]

They do that so your only answer can be "Mmmf mmmf" not, "This sucks!" XD

A mate of mine said to me once that the reason they ask all the time is so that people can't stuff themselves with three courses, then claim that the food sucks and they're not paying. XD

[BookstoreEscapee]

Being a customer does not give you royal blood

*puts crown and scepter away*

[JoitheArtist]

Paying the bill-
Please understand no matter what you do, separate checks take up much of our time and are very inconvenient (not to mention make you look cheap). Splitting the bill in half is ok, but no more than two ways. Simply bring cash and pitch in if none of you can afford to pay the entire bill. Some people ask for 2,5 even 10 separate checks!!! That means we have to run several different credit cards and get change for cash paid checks. This gives us less time to help our other customers. If you must pay in separate checks, pay so that they do not need to get you change for 10 different checks or tip a little more for the trouble.

I have one group of friends that's kinda bad about this. See, we LOVE to go to the Ren Faire in a big group, then head over to our favorite pub afterwards, still in our costumes (they don't mind, they are used to odd things--it's SoCal!) However, we do try to split it as few ways as possible (i.e., people with cash pairing up with those with credit cards) and we tip very generously. The servers don't seem to mind so far--and the servers at this place would be fairly vocal about it.

[Angry_Hippie]

The Vortex in Atlanta, GA has rules right in there menu. They are awesome (wonderful hamburgers too, and deep fried tater tots and cheese dip mmmmmm)

Here is the online version of their rules!

http://www.thevortexbarandgrill.com/

Sorry you have to click on Rules, it won't let me link directly to them.

[AdminAssistant]

If/when I ever go to Atlanta I am SO going to that restaurant. That's totally awesome!!

[alogram]

That place looks awesome!

I especially like the part on their menu about paying with a debit card. They basically say that if you use a debit card, the bank may hold an additional amount for a few days and "don't be calling us crying about it".



Esp. because the hotel chain I worked for seemed to cater to the whiny....

[Jester]

As one of the resident food service industry workers here at CustomersSuck.com, I feel I need to chime in.

Gee, not shocked about that, are ya?

seating yourself at a dirty table...that shows no class.

Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Mostly yes. But when the place is packed, and it is a seat-yourself-place, then it is reasonable for someone who is waiting for a table to "claim" it by sitting at it. I have no problem with this.

I DO have a problem with people who sit at dirty tables for any reason (above or otherwise) and then bitch that it is dirty. Especially when the place is busy.

I also have an issue with (and am honestly rather amused by) people who are being seated in a fairly empty dining room who insist on the one dirty table. I understand sometimes you want the window table or the booth or the view...but if you want the dirty table, tell us, we'll clean it, and then we will seat you there. If you're in that much of a hurry that you can't wait for this, go to fucking McDonald's.

PLEASE do not ask "how much is this..." it makes you look cheap and lazy because all you have to do is read your menu.

Again, not always. Virtually no drink menus have prices. And sometimes people with special orders may not know how much their food comes to, since by its nature it is not on the menu. Otherwise, yes, agreed.

Getting the servers attention-You do not need to frantically wave to get your servers attention, eye contact is very effective.

Sadly it is not. This one I have to disagree with. Well, at least partially. I have often come to tables because I thought the people needed me due to eye contact, but they were just looking around. A polite wave of the hand or call of the name ("Excuse me...Jester?") is, in my mind, perfectly acceptable, as well as being effective. Frantic hand-waving does indeed make people look silly or obnoxious.

And never, EVER, snap your fingers to summon your server. That is crossing a line, and thereafter you are treading on very thin ice, Mr. Snappy Pants. My MOTHER doesn't snap at me, and neither does my BOSS, and frankly, they have far more right to than you do. So please, do NOT make me explain in graphic detail, illustrated by diagrams if necessary, precisely what you can do with those two fingers.

Children-No we don't like your kids jumping up and down the booth and throwing sugar and food all over the place.

Not to mention it is really, REALLY not the best idea to let your young children run around the restaurant, especially when it's busy. See, we carry large heavy trays with food on them, or with numerous glasses filled with beverages on them, and these things injure your darling little angels. Also, it can injure others. Like other diners. And us. And we get injured enough at work. And we don't like it.

AND if we drop this shit because of your spawn, we are going to have to go re-order it, making things take longer for everyone--us, your fellow diners, and YOU.

Not to mention--ah fuck it, I WILL mention--it is really rude, disrespectful, and obnoxious to allow your brood to act like that. At the park, that is acceptable. In a public restaurant? No. And trust me, Soccer Moms and Hockey Dads, I have ZERO problem telling your little'uns "NO RUNNING." And if you have a problem with that, I have some diagrams I just showed to Mr. Snapper over there that might just educate you about things you didn't know about your own anatomy. Learn how to fucking parent your child. There is a time and place for everything, and kids will be kids, I know, but parents should be parents. My father would have made us wall decorations if we had run around in a restaurant at full speed like some of these hellions do.

Paying the bill-Please understand no matter what you do, separate checks take up much of our time and are very inconvenient (not to mention make you look cheap). Splitting the bill in half is ok, but no more than two ways.

Yes and no. For various reasons, various parties will want or need to do separate checks. It sucks, but it is part of our job. HOWEVER...it would be nice if you would tell us that you need separate checks at the beginning, before we have run in the food and drinks of a party of 12 who are out celebrating the imminent conquest of the planet by the Dark Lord. Thank you.

And, by the way, if we tell you that the establishment does not do separate checks because it is house policy.....that means you are not going to get seperate checks. Period.

If you really have to pay separately, I suggest you take a lesson from the Spring Breaker frat boys I had at a table a couple of weeks ago. (Yes, seriously, these guys did something intelligent. Shocking, I know.) They took the one check I presented them (it was at the bar I work at that does NOT do separate checks) and took the time to figure out what each one of them owed....then wrote on the check the name on each credit card and the amount. THAT was nice. I thanked them for that. Yes, I still had to run seven credit cards, but they cut the time I would have needed to do that right the hell down. Now if only other adults could learn from these delinquents, we might get somewhere.

Well that's about it, lastly just remember one thing...your server is not your servant, they are your server. Being a customer does not give you royal blood and make you better than the people helping you. They are human beings just like you and have feelings so treat them accordingly.

Now I have to disagree with this as well.




NAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

What I really meant to say is: Amen! Preach on!

I work for a living. I work for two bars. I am employed by those establishments. While you are the patron of said establishments, I do not work for YOU, Your Highness. I work for them. And if you treat me like a servant or a slave, you are going to get a rude awakening.

Hell, the last guy who tried that with me at The Bar was not only tossed out by my Rockin' Manager, he was banned forever. Nice move, dipshit!

Hot Tea - It's a pain in the ass. Stop ordering it.

Yes, it is. However, it is part of our job. So to the servers who really DO want to make this a rule, sack up and stop whining. I know it sucks. Every server knows it sucks. But if you work in a place that has hot tea, and someone orders it, deal with it. I'm not a tea drinker. I can't stand the stuff, frankly. But if someone gave me this attitude when I ordered, say, a beer, I would be rather put off.

(And no, Pepper, I am not saying you are giving customers attitude about this, or even that you are serious about it. But I have seen both of those things happen, and it is extraordinarily unprofessional on the part of the server, not to mention rude. So I can't support this as part of the Good Customer Rules.)

Splitting of entrees or ordering off the kids menu - Yes, I understand the economy is tough. I also understand that many people don't have big appetites, but I *hated* when people took it out on me when I wasn't allowed to let them order off the kids menu.

I don't see what the big deal is about splitting items. A lot of people, especially older folks (Hi Mom!) don't have the biggest appetites, and a lot of restaurants server large portions. If people will be happy splitting something, rock on.

I will not, however, ask the kitchen to cut your steak up for you, cut the half-roasted chicken off the bones, divide the entree on to three separate plates, or violate company policy to honor some other request of yours--all things I have been asked to do at various times in my career.

And yes, the kids menu is for kids. I might make an exception for Grandma over there, especially if she's sweet, but generally speaking, you're an adult....the kids menu is for the kids....deal with it.

My little hint to the wait staff - I know that the staff is busy but when my drink is empty, I'll put the empty glass near the end of the table.

Excellent method and etiquette, frankly. I am a Drinker. And I don't mean drunk (though I am that as well), but rather, I need to drink liquids when I eat. Whether it's Sprite, lemonade, water, beer, wine, or a cocktail, if my glass is empty, for the love of Bacchus, at least OFFER to refill it. I am from the desert, but that does not mean I want to die of thirst. Keep my glass full and I can forgive many other things.

Many tips have been raised or lowered drastically in my life on this one thing.

A request to waitstaff: Please don't ask how everything is just after someone takes a bite. It's annoying.

But they train us to do that in Waiter School!

Seriously, it is considered good service to check back on a table within a couple of minutes or a couple of bites. Since everyone eats at a different pace, and we have more than one table, it is often impossible not to do the above, though we really don't TRY to do it. (But I do joke about it, of course, using the Waiter School line above.)

The Vortex in Atlanta, GA has rules right in there menu.

Saw them featured on Man vs. Food. Looks like an AWESOME place. Love their rules, too. May just have to print them out for my coworkers' amusement.

[karath]

Yes and no. For various reasons, various parties will want or need to do separate checks. It sucks, but it is part of our job. HOWEVER...it would be nice if you would tell us that you need separate checks at the beginning, before we have run in the food and drinks of a party of 12 who are out celebrating the imminent conquest of the planet by the Dark Lord. Thank you.

And, by the way, if we tell you that the establishment does not do separate checks because it is house policy.....that means you are not going to get seperate checks. Period.

If you really have to pay separately, I suggest you take a lesson from the Spring Breaker frat boys I had at a table a couple of weeks ago. (Yes, seriously, these guys did something intelligent. Shocking, I know.) They took the one check I presented them (it was at the bar I work at that does NOT do separate checks) and took the time to figure out what each one of them owed....then wrote on the check the name on each credit card and the amount. THAT was nice. I thanked them for that. Yes, I still had to run seven credit cards, but they cut the time I would have needed to do that right the hell down. Now if only other adults could learn from these delinquents, we might get somewhere.

Completely agree there. On the extremely rare occasions that my friends and I get to eat out...well, we generally try to be polite and that sort of thing (after spending all my time on the site, I go out of my way to make sure I'm friendly, polite, and thank the waiters/waitresses for everything)...but when it comes to the bill everything goes straight to hell. I've learned to bring extra cash these days because somehow we always wind up being short. Thankfully the cardusers also know of the "write the card # and charge on the receipt" policy...but still, I feel very sorry for our waitstaff when we're "almost done" the third time they ask if the bill's ready.