Dating question(input greatly desired)

[Akasa]

There's this guy who expressed interest in me just after I moved here. I didn't take him up on it because I was still smarting from the last relationship I had. We did hang out once.
I've lately decided to give him a shot, but we just can't seem to get a day to get together. He works 2 jobs and hasn't had a day off in 2 months. I see him once a week for our D&D games, but aside from that haven't really had a chance to talk to him.
I'm starting to wonder if my earlier not being interested in anyone at the time closed the door.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Why not try skipping the DnD one week to hang out together?

[Gerrinson]

Why not try skipping the DnD one week to hang out together?

HEATHEN! No one skips D&D!

Well, okay, they do, but they pay a hefty price.

Back on topic - the dude works two jobs and hasn't had a day off in months. And probably no days off in sight, I presume?

I've been that guy and it sucks. Often you find you don't have the time or the energy to do much of anything but work and sleep. And then you have family obligations and basic daily errands and you just seem to have no free time.

There only two options I can suggest:

1) It could be that because you're part of the D&D group and he's afraid that flat out telling you he's no longer interested will hurt your feelings and screw up D&D so he is just beating around the bush. The best way to deal with this is to point blank ask if he's interested and let him know that it is okay if he's not - only say this if it is true! Don't say it's okay if it is not actually okay.

2) Find out when he has time and rearrange your schedule to suit his free time.

To be honest, you should probably do both. First, make sure he's still interested. If so, going out of your way to accomodate his schedule should make it clear that you are definitely interested, too. It also shows an understanding for his current situation.

Oh, and for his sake, you might want to suggest that he schedules one day a week off from both jobs. A guaranteed day off that is totally for yourself works wonders on the psyche and the social life. That is how I saved what precious little sanity I had left when I was working multiple jobs.

Other than that, all I can say is good luck!

[taxguykarl]

I'm starting to wonder if my earlier not being interested in anyone at the time closed the door.

Very likely. If you have sufficiently rebounded, the next move is up to you. You will have to be the one to initiate a relationship.

[Akasa]

Very likely. If you have sufficiently rebounded, the next move is up to you. You will have to be the one to initiate a relationship.

I have such issues w/ rejection that its VERY hard for me to put myself wholly out there where I can get shot down. I don't think he'd be a cruel as some have been in the past, but once you've been seriously burned repeadely its hard.
(To give you an idea, there was a time when guys would ask me out and when I'd accept they'd make a big scene about how they couldn't believe I thought they were serious and they wouldn't be caught dead out with me. Several times from several groups. It makes me nervous even if I'm pretty sure they are interested.)

[artifical sweetner]

i think if you really like him you should keep persuing it, but, keep in mind if it would really be sustainable considering your schedules and such...if you end up developing feelings for him and he's never around it might feel like hes rejecting/abandoning/avoiding you.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

(To give you an idea, there was a time when guys would ask me out and when I'd accept they'd make a big scene about how they couldn't believe I thought they were serious and they wouldn't be caught dead out with me. Several times from several groups. It makes me nervous even if I'm pretty sure they are interested.)

Wow. I'm sure you know that these dickheads were not people you wanted to date, but that doesn't make that any easier, I'm sure. I'm assuming that you were very young when this happened? I ask because most adults don't do this....I mean, it's certainly possible, but it's not likely a grown person would do this. This is pure high school and below.

Ask the young man out. Confidence is sexy. If you don't have it, fake it. I put one poor guy off for two YEARS before I went out with him. Same situation as yours. Two years later, dude still wanted to go out with me. Of course, after two years of putting him off, I'm the one that had to initiate the date. You can only say no to a guy so many times before he gets a little gun shy.

You may be suprised that your initial refusal to go out with him has made him want to go out with you even more. That happens A LOT. Something you have to wait for, and that is not a sure thing, is far more attractive and valuable than something easy to get.

Yeah, I know, that smacks of game playing, but there you go.

[Jester]

Fear of rejection is natural.

However, if we don't take a chance of being rejected, we often don't get a chance for something truly wonderful.

I have learned this through personal experience.

Sometimes we have to aim for the stars even if we know we may end up crashing to earth. Because sometimes, we really do achieve the stars. And that makes it all worth it, even the crashes.