I need your help with a murder.

[Kogarashi]

There are also these hanging bait traps that unfurl to reveal a long UBERSTICKY strip from which there is no escape, but beware: these are very gunky and nigh-impossible to remove from anything else if their gunk gets on it.

I've found those are better if you have larger house flies, and you really do have to be careful where you hang them. Mom learned right quick after us girls got one or two stuck in our hair by accident, just by leaning too close to one.

[PizzaDrone]

Citronella aromatherapy oil generally works quite well for keeping insects and the like away. Not the best smell in the world, but better than having bugs about.

[Jester]

Do you cover the pour spouts on the bottles every night?

We tried that for a while, but there are problems with that.
1. The main bar, where we are having the problem, has probably well over 200 spouted bottles.
2. The bottles aren't the problem. If they were, the flies would not be concentrated around just the main service bar area and the beer tap area, which, as I said in the OP, they are. Hell, if it was the bottles, I would think they would be concentrated over our four dedicated rum rails, as rum is sugar-based. But they aren't.

And if all else fails, try Orkin, Terminix, or another professional pest control assassination service!

The Bar periodically does have such a service come in. It works for the other nasties we don't want around, but keeps these guys only for a very, VERY short time.

Also, smoke. Sometimes when the bugs get too bad to work outside, I build a fire and throw some green leaves and pine on it to make smoke.

I am assuming your bar is an outdoor one?

You are assuming wrong. While we DO have an open air roof deck area, that is NOT the bar that has the unwanted residents. Our main bar, downstairs and inside, is where the situation is. So a fire? Not even remotely practical. Nor is smoke, due to anti-smoke laws, fire alarms, and safety issues.

The repellant will at least keep the Little Dammits out of your eyes.

They aren't in our eyes, just our faces. And while I usually where a ballcap at work, I am not the only bartender, and most of the others do no. And yes, repellant smells terrible, and as a bartender, that is not a good thing to be.

Coffee/bagel shop next door had the same problem. Turns out them was drain flies (they breed on the sides of the drains). 1 cup of bleach down the drain at closing every evening and then flushing a bit with plain water when they came in did the trick

They well could be drain flies, as they hover over the ice well at the service bar, which has a small drain, and over the beer tap area, which also has small drains. We may try this, though of course that would mean reinstituting the policy of the closing bartender burning off any leftover ice, which may not be popular with certain staff members. Like, say, the closing bartenders.

If you've got organic garbage, especially banana peels, it might be worth it to make a separate trash bin for those, which you have to make sure to empty out every 10 days or more frequently.

As we serve food and alcohol, of course we have organic garbage. Actually, our garbage is basically food, glass bottles, and paper trash...and that's about it. But I don't think this is the issue. See, the main bar has four trash cans scattered around behind the bar. Each one of them gets emptied at the end of the night (more often on really busy days), the bags get tossed in the dumpsters, and the cans get left out in the alley, where our really awesome cleaning guy cleans them nightly. The trash cans are not the issue.

There are also these hanging bait traps that unfurl to reveal a long UBERSTICKY strip from which there is no escape, but beware: these are very gunky and nigh-impossible to remove from anything else if their gunk gets on it.

Completely impractical for this bar without advertising to everyone that we have a pest problem, and without possibly getting a staff member or customer tangled in them. Not practical, not feasible, and my boss might actually stare at me with "Do I really have to fire you now?" eyes if I even suggested it.

Citronella aromatherapy oil generally works quite well for keeping insects and the like away. Not the best smell in the world, but better than having bugs about.

I know that smell. No way my boss lets that smell in the bar as part of standard day to day work. And while these flies are a nuisance (and can aggravate customers who sit by the service bar area), the citronella smell would be worse.


Our current "attack plan" as it were is peppermint oil. What we do is dilute a few drops of it in a cup of water, and use that water to wipe down the affected areas when we open. We then keep a cup of the mixture in both areas. The idea is that the peppermint oil repel the flies for whatever reason (we don't know what it is). It works passably, but things could be better. (They were much worse when we ran out of peppermint oil for a while.)


By the way, those of you who are wondering, "What about Raid spray or stuff like it?" I swear the fuckers are almost immune to it. One day recently when I came in to work, I saw the fuckers LOUNGING on the bar, hanging out, enjoying themselves, right in front of the service bar area. Like they were on a pool sundeck. I shit you not. So I went ballistic. "Okay, you fuckers want to mock me? I hope you got more than that, because I'm coming for you, you little bastards!" And I whipped out a new can of Raid for Flying Insects and unleashed Armageddon on them, spraying down the whole area with a thick cloud of death.

Or so I thought.

They all fled the cloud, but were back walking through the residue like I had merely inconvenienced them. I may have killed all of ten. Maybe. Yes, my coworkers were amused by my Pattonesque tirade. And yes, those of you who are worried, every surface that might come into contact with food, utensils, ice, or anything else was thoroughly cleaned after the onslaught. (Do you think I'm stupid?) So, yeah, fuck Raid. These guys not only laugh at Raid, they have standup comics who have built their entire career on mocking Raid, the Raid company, and idiots who think that it actually might do what it says.


Keep the ideas coming, folks....some of them are quite good and quite practical. And my management is willing to try a lot, within reason.

[Geek King]

We had a breakout in my apartment recently. Here's what worked for us:


Get a bowl and fill it with grape juice.

Cover it in plastic wrap

Use a toothpick to poke holes in the plastic wrap--no holes near the rim!

Set bowl near area of infestation

Pour bleach down the drain and let the adults drown in the grape juice.

--Yeah, much the same as the funnel method, but with added imaginary fly screams with the bleach.

Why are you looking at me like that?

[Eric the Grey]

They all fled the cloud, but were back walking through the residue like I had merely inconvenienced them.

Be careful, next they'll be asking for free drinks for the inconvenience.

Anyway, One of the outbreaks we had here at work came from a garbage disposal in the break room. I took and filled a bucket half full with ice, and filled up the sink in question, and turned on the water, followed by the disposal. It eliminated them pretty quickly because they couldn't all fly out as fast, and running ice through a disposal will clear out most of the crud that tends to build up in them.

Ever since, I make a point of checking it at least once a night to make certain people aren't leaving food sit in it again.

On the chemical front, one of the tech's brought in a can of Repel camp spray fogger which may or may not have helped the latest situation (It may well have been the cold, since most of our infestations seem to come from the dock, where the trash compactor is...). I just wouldn't want to be around for long if you spray it, since it recommends plenty of air...



Eric the Grey

[Jester]

Be careful, next they'll be asking for free drinks for the inconvenience.

Good luck to them with that.

While I DO give out free drinks at my bar from time to time (and am authorized to do so), the number of people that have ASKED for free drinks and actually received them from equals the number of tattoos I have, plus the number of times I have been awarded an international medal of some type, plus the number of times Anna Paquin has knocked on my door in a skimpy bikini.

[Seshat]

Hey Jester,

If I ever make it to your bar, can I have a free drink?

[Aethian]

Okay so they seem concentrated around the drains right? Have any of these drain ideas been tested? What about the drain traps, when were the last time those were cleaned out? Mom has a problem with drain flies once...every time the sperm donor said he cleaned out the trap he hadn't and when Mom finally did... Well lets just say the kitchen had to be aired out for a couple days.

But no more problems with inscets until the fridge died over a weekend vacation.

[Jester]

If I ever make it to your bar, can I have a free drink?

No.

I've explained why before.

Most bartenders have the authority to buy drinks for patrons. But the general rule of thumb with bartenders is that those who ASK for free drinks don't GET free drinks. We give them out to those we choose to, or as apologies for fucking something up, or if our managers tell us to for some VIP or such. (I don't have spineless managers, so it's usually for a good reason in my bar.)

Okay so they seem concentrated around the drains right? Have any of these drain ideas been tested? What about the drain traps, when were the last time those were cleaned out?

In order:

No, just the drains of the one service bar well and the beer taps well (not the sink wells or any of the less-used ice wells).

I am not sure.

And I have no idea.

[Bella_Vixen]

Back when I used to hang out with K (she of "You Have Your Baby In A BAR!" fame), she worked in a bowling alley with a decent bar.

One time I went in, and ordered my usual (couple) shot(s) of Jamesons.

Bartender poured one for the each of us.

Fruit flies.

All that yummy deliciousness gone down the drain.

At least the flies had good taste.....

[Greenday]

Spray ammonia on the bug blood when you kill them. This way the cops won't be able to test it and arrest you for murdering them.

[Jester]

All that yummy deliciousness gone down the drain.

Down the drain? Really?

I have to tell you, if I am hoisting my beer, shot, whatever, and there happens to be a fruit fly who has committed the most glorious of suicides in my glass, you know what I do? I drink the damn thing, and drink the damn fly too! I, for one, shall not let his sacrifice go in vain! Nor shall I condone the abuse of perfectly good alcohol.

"But Jester, that's gross! And un-hygienic! You're swallowing a FLY!"

Relax. It's fine. You see, the fly's been swabbed in alcohol!

[Eric the Grey]

Spray ammonia on the bug blood when you kill them. This way the cops won't be able to test it and arrest you for murdering them.

Remember, Good friends help you hide the bodies.



Eric the Grey

[Becks]

You see, the fly's been swabbed in alcohol!

I salute you, I really do.

See?

[Bella_Vixen]

Down the drain? Really?

I have to tell you, if I am hoisting my beer, shot, whatever, and there happens to be a fruit fly who has committed the most glorious of suicides in my glass, you know what I do? I drink the damn thing, and drink the damn fly too! I, for one, shall not let his sacrifice go in vain! Nor shall I condone the abuse of perfectly good alcohol.

"But Jester, that's gross! And un-hygienic! You're swallowing a FLY!"

Relax. It's fine. You see, the fly's been swabbed in alcohol!

The bartender did the dumping.