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How to tell if your town/city sucks.

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  • #1

    How to tell if your town/city sucks.

    THERE IS NO GOD DAMNED LIBRARY.

    And forget about accessing other locals - they charge a fee.

    "But Ammie, that's not so bad," you say. Ordinarily I'd agree with you...

    ...IF THE FEE WASN'T SO GOD DAMNED EXPENSIVE (one hundred smackers).

    If any of you fine kids are traveling or plan to travel through the great state of Illinois, do let me know so that I may give you directions - so that you can AVOID going through this pit of craptastic wherein I am a prisoner, lest you too become contaminated by the suck.

    ~~ Every politician that opens their mouth on birth control only proves that we need more of it. ~~
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  • #2
    Wait, what? No Library?!

    *blinkblinkblink*



    *blinkblinkblink*



    *blinkblinkblink*



    *blinkblinkblink*



    *blinkblinkblink*



    *blinkblinkblink*

    Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

    Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

    Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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    • #3
      Quoth Evil Queen View Post
      Wait, what? No Library?!
      Teeny-tiny little bitty town waaaay out in the middle of nowhere. We're lucky we even have a damned gas station - the stone-age locals here are so paranoid about development they threw a fit when *that* was installed some years ago. Nevermind that it's a good 15 miles to the next nearest gas station. That might not sound like much to some people, but if you're low on gas and/or money to buy said gas, it's a helluva long walk home...

      I'm definitely moving by the end of this year, one way or another. This is just the last straw. I can't live like this because it's killing me, physically and mentally. Even my old town, as suckular and backwards as it was, was never this pathetic. (Though you couldn't pay me to move back there now because it's gone completely down the toilet.)
      ~~ Every politician that opens their mouth on birth control only proves that we need more of it. ~~

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      • #4
        I thought every town in the US had a library, hell, even Hancock NY has one, and it's only got 1 street through the middle.
        If I dropped everybody who occasionally said something stupid from my list of potential partners, I wouldn’t even be able to masturbate

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        • #5
          Holy, and I thought my town sucked because we didn't have a decent butcher.
          My sis lives in the middle of bum-fuck Vermont and they are within a 30 min drive of a library.
          Are there any books you need? 'Cause I might have them and can send them to you -you'd have to send them back of course, but I trust.
          *auntiem who has several bookcases in each room including the kitchen*

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          • #6
            Quoth auntiem View Post
            Are there any books you need? 'Cause I might have them and can send them to you -you'd have to send them back of course, but I trust.
            That's very sweet of you to offer. I don't NEED anything, I'd just like to be able to check things out that I'm interested in for fun and devour them at my own pace (which is actually pretty fast; I've been known to read myself straight into exhaustion because I don't wanna put the book down). Nothing is stopping me from walking into any of these libraries in 'neighboring' (if 20+ miles away in any direction can be considered 'neighboring') districts and spending a few hours there, but then again, I don't always have that time to spare (big myth of unemployment: we are sitting on our asses all day. Nope, I have chores n' stuff to do every day and none of those involve TV or even the internet) nor am I always able to drive (or be driven) there.

            Also, with the increasing prevalence of allowing patrons to check out DVDs and CDs, I'd like to be able to do that too (though I've never had good luck with rented DVDs; they always seem to be so badly scratched that my player refuses to play them right).

            I've never had much of a life, but here, where I am now, I REALLY have no life.
            ~~ Every politician that opens their mouth on birth control only proves that we need more of it. ~~

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            • #7
              No library?!!! WTF?!!!
              I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
              Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
              Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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              • #8
                That moan rising in pitch from underearth is Andrew Carnegie's rotisserie.
                "tha beerings wilna take it, Capn"
                I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                • #9
                  Quoth dalesys View Post
                  That moan rising in pitch from underearth is Andrew Carnegie's rotisserie.
                  And to read this thread on the last day of National Library Week too.

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                  • #10


                    Our library system rocks. I feel for you. I can't imagine being without mine.
                    "So, if you wanna put places like that outta business, just stop being so rock-chewingly stupid." ~ Raudf, 9/19/13

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                    • #11
                      No. Library.

                      ....

                      Yup, it's official, you live in bumfuckia.


                      I would also like to extend you the offer of raiding my personal library. It's mostly fantasy, with a smattering of SciFi, horror, and some things that looked interesting at the library booksale. Seriously, if you're interested I'd be happy to send stuff to you.
                      The High Priest is an Illusion!

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                      • #12
                        I have 5 bookcases...one is my 'not theatre' case with my comedy type books, mythology books, and plain literature - although I'm starting to put my French stuff there because I'm out of room everywhere else. One is just binders of notes (I keep everything). Another is single plays. Another is play anthologies, dictionaries, and my 'other' theatre books. And my newest addition, a bookcase full of theatre history, philosophy, and theory books. Yes, moving is a pain.

                        Sadly, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be interesting to anyone but other theatre junkies...and I've been really badly burned lending out books. But that sucks that you don't have access to a library.
                        "Even arms dealers need groceries." ~ Ziva David, NCIS

                        Tony: "Everyone's counting on you, just do what you do best."
                        Abby: "Dance?" ~ NCIS

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                        • #13
                          The town I am living in now has a library. It is not affiliated with the county library and is the only library in the county to be like that (this is the 2nd most populated town/city in the county).
                          It is only open for four hours a week. Most of the books haven't been checked out since 1963. Seriously. Also, most of the books in the children's section are ancient. There are books in there that were printed before my grandma was born (the books themselves). Several are falling apart and I had issues with picking them up because they were so fragle- I wouldn't give them to a kid- they'd be torn apart. They store cardboard boxes of books in the bathroom- the library is in a converted house. It is maintained by a bunch of old women that wouldn't let me volunteer for being a library page because I "was too young and didn't know anything about running a library."
                          Nevermind I was in college with library science as my major at the time and I had spent middle and high school helping out in the on-site library.
                          They complain that they don't have any money for new books, a new space, etc- but they don't do anything about it (like fundraising or enforcing their late fees).
                          Ugh, it is one of the main reasons why I hate it here. I wish I had control over the library.
                          I paid $25 for a yearly membership to a nearby county's library. Now I can read some Doctor Who books. They (meaning the live-in county) wouldn't order them since "no one would read them." They refuse to order any of Mercedes Lackey's books for that reason too.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Nyoibo View Post
                            I thought every town in the US had a library, hell, even Hancock NY has one, and it's only got 1 street through the middle.
                            Some are just too small that they don't have one. They just can't support it. I know that Bristoria, PA doesn't have a library. The entire town consists of about 4 or 5 houses, and a school bus up on blocks. Sycamore, PA (slightly bigger and not far from Bristoria) doesn't have one either. There's not even a country store there! That closed after it was robbed. To get anything, even gasoline, you have to drive to the next town.
                            Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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                            • #15
                              Sounds like you live near where my stepfather is from. He grew up in Breeds, Ill and his family now lives there or in the nearby actual place of civilization, Canton.

                              My stepdad lives out where I do, though, in Missouri. We're in the middle of our annual Cards vs Cubs war right now. *rubs her hands together and anticipates payback at the game tonight*
                              "Oh, the strawberries don't taste as they used to and the thighs of women have lost their clutch!"

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