Break Up on My Birthday

[Diablo]

So yesterday was my birthday...the old 28. I had been living with a young lady for about three and a half months. Well it finally came known she couldn't stand my pet parrot and I was given an ultimatum..."Me or the bird Diablo...pick one"

"Bird"

"You can't be serious." I think she was rather shocked how quickly I responded.

"I've had the bird since I was twelve. He waited for me when I was over seas...I've know you for at most six months...Bird wins."

"Your telling me that your going to end a normal healthy human relationship over a fucking pet?!?"

"Yes"

"Your willing to give up sex with me over your stupid pet?!?"

"Bird can't cheat on me...so that makes it now 2 good reasons....Bird doesn't spend my money, 3 good reasons...come on you got to give me something here...you ain't making this a difficult decision"

So needless to say, it was decided that we would take a break for a little bit. Considering some of my previous relationships, this wasn't the worse break up...hell no cops so that's always plus. She did apologize when she got home and realized it was my birthday. Her roommate had to tell her when she started complaining to her about me. For the record, the bird is now 3 and 0 against girlfriends that didn't like him....

So anyone else got some good breakup stories?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Well, happy birthday, I guess...!

[Aethian]

Happy Birthday *snugs*

As for good breakup's...one of my ex's broke up with me to go out with another girl... Girl refused to date him for how he dumped me. Guy ended up with no girlfriend.

[lush]

I once had a "it's me or the dog.." I handed him his stuff and told him to leave

I'm so lucky now that even tho the boyfriend thinks my dogs will eat him, he'd never tell me it's them or him

[jedimaster91]

I had a string of boyfriends that wanted a more physical relationship than I was comfortable with. And when I told them no, they went and got it somewhere else. A was lucky he lived two hours away or I might have removed the offending organs with a rusty spoon. That break up was the one I was most angry about because I was going through a really difficult time (I had just lost a close friend in a freak accident), and A was really helpful to me at first.

[blas]

It seems you are much better off without her!

I got dumped right before my 21st birthday......one of the most classic chesnuts out there..."We need to take a break" mixed with a classic Seinfeld excuse "It's not you, it's me."

That was a great birthday, what a great guy.......speaking of which, whatever did I do with that spud gun?

[Diablo]

Like I have said before, this wasn't my worst breakup. That occurred in Norfolk. I was stationed there on a carrier. I had been living with a girl for about three months. Our lease was coming up and to be completely honest, we had pretty much grown apart. I since I was going to do a six month deployment in a month, I didn't see the point in continuing the relationship. So we sat down, had an in depth conversation on it, and I thought we had come to the mutual decision to go our different ways. Since the lease was in my name, I even offered to work with the building manager to get her name on it at the same rate I had been paying.

Fast forward a week, I go on a five day deployment as a buildup for the upcoming six month one. Before I can even get into my civilian cloths at the conclusion of the five days, I get told I got two cops waiting for me at the pier. Seems I beat the shit out of my girlfriend before I left and that I had to find somewhere else to live. Furthermore, the two cops were there to escort me to my place, to get my shit, and drive home the point if I so much as called her I was going to get locked up. Not that it really matter as when I got there, the only things there were the items that she couldn't hock. All that remained was a couple pieces of furniture that were smashed and/or slashed up. I literally didn't have any fucking cloths at the place, thankfully the bird was at my parents place. TV, entertainment system, shoes, cloths, my fucking bed!!! All gone!!!!

So now I am dealing with this legal shit right. I am looking at getting prosecuted for domestic assault, all my shit is gone, and I'm not even allowed to try and figure out what the hell is going on. Furthermore, my command is gearing up to send me to mast for this shit (double jeopardy doesn't exist for the military). So what saves my ass???

My ex, in a spur of pure genius had gotten a hold of my checkbook I guess in the process of selling all my shit to a pawn shop. While I was gone those few days, she had been writing checks in my name left and right. I of course don't know this until my bank gets a hold of me. So when the cops bring her in to question her about it, her story about when I beat her up gets mixed up. Basically she said I kicked the crap out of her, despite her never going to the emergency room. Furthermore, she tried to say I gave her permission to forge my name on checks. Despite this, I still had an active investigation by my command on this mess for 6 months. 6 months I had to worry if I would get prosecuted by my command and my career ruined for something that never happened.

I never got a dime out of her, although she did do time for it...In the end she most likely cost me about $10k between the stuff she stole, the bank fraud, and lawyer fees. Needless to say, I didn't date for about 16 months after that fiasco...

[blas]

Holy Mary Kate Olsen at an all you can eat buffet!

That's all I can say about that.

[depechemodefan]

Break Up on My Birthday

should we bring our baseball bats? That is stupid of her. Luckily she has a friend with sense.

Fast forward a week, I go on a five day deployment as a buildup for the upcoming six month one. Before I can even get into my civilian cloths at the conclusion of the five days, I get told I got two cops waiting for me at the pier. Seems I beat the shit out of my girlfriend before I left and that I had to find somewhere else to live...Basically she said I kicked the crap out of her, despite her never going to the emergency room.

You would think someone would have said "hey, you putting a restraining order against your ex? Show the bruises. No bruises? bye-bye" Unless she said it happened 2 months ago or something. That really sucks.

You know, maybe you should stop letting women live with you. My dad had a lot of common law marriages. Then he had no wife or gf and started to correspond with women overseas, and started to write to my mom. Then he went to see her. Then he wanted to have sex with her in her house. My mom kicked him out. He goes to the airport but comes back and proposes marriage. Granted, mom was marrying dad to get away from her leeches of brothers and sisters (the woman has 9 siblings) and dad was mentally ill, so that marriage was a bit of mess. But my mom's sisters didn't live with a guy until they got married and 1/2 of them are doing ok

I'm still laughing over the gf astonished about you preferring a bird over sex. hee!

[tropicsgoddess]

Break ups suck, but not when you have your furry/feathered best friend at your side. Pets are the best !(especially dogs) Happy Birthday!

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Uck, she's so not worthy. You just don't tell people to choose between you and their pet.

Or their kids.

[Amethyst Hunter]

Pets are the best !(especially cats) Happy Birthday!

Fixed your post.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Pets are the best !(especially boys) Happy Birthday!

Fixed it again.

[Shards]

Yeah...

I always found it funny when I heard people talk about people asking for those kinds of choices. "Me or your pet." Well, if I own a pet, then I know it's a dependable relationship, while you are not. Additionally, if I own a pet, I probably like pets, and if you're giving me this ultimatum, you obviously don't. Even if I were to give up my furry/feathered friend to appease your ego, a couple years down the road when our kids start asking for a pet and the sex has stopped being that great, there'll be some problems. But what if we don't go as far as marriage and kids, you ask? Then it wasn't worth giving up the pet that would probably have been around long enough to see the girl I'll get married to, anyway, even if he doesn't see me wait for her at the end of the aisle.

[DesignFox]

Sorry to hear about the breakup, but damn...at least she didn't pull the crazy shit the last gf, did! I don't have words to describe how horrible and mean that is!

I'd choose horses over boys, any day. Long story short- The last BF couldn't handle it, and he broke up with me- (he insisted that spending all my spare cash on leasing a horse and going to shows was 'irresponsible and pointless'. Never mind the shit eating grin on my face when I came home with my first awards or the fact that I'd been riding horses well before we started dating AND he was told that the only thing I really wanted in life was a horse- we were together for 4 years and I guess he never believed I was serious? )

Well, my latest boyfriend got the ultimatum before the relationship started. "See this bracelet on my wrist. It has a HORSE'S name on it. If you can't deal with it, you tell me NOW. Unlike men, the HORSE never broke my heart."
So far, he's been extremely supportive.

I'd keep the bird, too. Anybody that truly cares about you will understand and not ask you to part with it- heck, maybe the next GF will like him, too!