Downs syndrome?

[Dips]

Personally it makes me so angry that people she considers friends would blame her or suggest things they know she wouldn't contemplate.

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I'm so proud of her, I couldn't think of anyone who is more suited to be a mother, she has been such a good friend to me and I intend on being there for her as much as she wants or needs me to be.

I think you're more than making up for those so-called friends. One friend like you who is supportive and loving can make all the difference.

My son did not have Down sydrome, but he had some of the same issues such as developmental delays and heart problems. Even if some of my friends had private doubts about my bringing him into the world, they all fell in love when they met him. Children are wonderful. ALL of them.

[hecubus]

I don't have any relatives with Down's, but I have met quite a few in my life. For the most part, they are the kindest, sweetest people you could meet. Many of them have jobs, depending on the severity of their Down's Syndrome, and the ones who have jobs, I've heard from managers and employers, are really good employees.

I, myself, was born with several physical disabilities, and, from my experience, I know it can be a challenge to raise a disabled child, but the rewards far outweigh the bad stuff.

[penniless student]

My friend's little brother has downs. He is the most awesome person - he has the most amazing rapport with animals and is currently at college, learning agriculture.

Yes, it's heartbreaking, but there is much more hope with downs than with other genetic disorders.

[BookstoreEscapee]

One of the woman in my old church has a daughter with Downs. I don't know if there are varying degrees of the syndrome but for her, the daughter does require constant supervision. I also don't know if it's common with Downs, or just a complication for her, but the daughter is also partially deaf and wears a hearing aid.

It does vary in severity; mental retardation can range from mild to severe but usually is in the mild-moderate range. They're also at higher risk for hearing and vision impairment, at least partially due to certain facial/cranial and other physical abnormalities that characterize the condition (such as narrowed ear canals).

[Boozy]

My mom's older sister has Down Syndrome. My aunt got herself tangled in the cord while in hte womb and not enough oxygen got to her brain.

Is it Down's Syndrome, or cerebral palsy? Down's is a chromosomal disorder, while cerebral palsy is usually caused by lack of oxygen to the brain.

[Custard Chick]

My youngest brother has Downs and I wouldn't change him for anything.

My parents didn't find out until he was born (Mom didn't even want to know the sex, much less deal with an amnio or anything like that).

Yes, it's a bit difficult to raise a child with Down's. But depending on the level or retardation, it's not that much different.

Little Brother just turned 17 this past April. He's finishing up his sophomore year of high school and just loving being a teenager. He plays guitar, goes to concerts and football games with his friends ("normal" friends and other mentally challenged children), he's in the choir and a club at school and goes to camp every summer.

Last year he ran up the cell phone bill talking to his girlfriend from camp. Mom gave him quite the talking to.

He's been in some kind of schooling since he was about 3 years old. They taught him simple sign language for a few words ("drink", "more", "please") since he was delayed in speech and he picked it up easily.

Starting his Junior year, he's going to be going to class part time and working at an assisted living home part time. Our school system has an AMAZING special ed program that teaches the kids math and science and english, but also basic living skills - how to cook a simple meal for themselves, how to count money and balance a check book, responsibilities that come with a job, cleaning, etc.

Little Bro with easily be able to live in a small group home, hold down a job, and take care of himself when he does finally graduate high school and move out. He's never been a "burden" in my family, just another brother/cousin/nephew/grandson (but a very obviously favored one!).

It's so funny when the family goes out. He ALWAYS runs into someone he knows from school, camp, his club, youth group, church, etc. He's one of the most popular kids I know. He knows EVERYONE!

It's a shame your friend is being ostracized. There is no reason for it. She did nothing wrong. She isn't being punished. Downs is a genetic mutation. It just happens. Yes, it's unfortunate and yes, it will be a bit harder to raise a child who is mentally challenged, but trust me when I say that she will never love anyone as much as she will love this child and no one else will ever love her more than this child will love her. Rarely do I find a Downs kid who isn't incredibility happy-go-lucky and easy to get along with.

As soon as she can, I suggest getting the little one into some kind of education program/camp/something geared towards mentally challenged children. The more education the baby has, the more "normal" his or her life will be. Little Bro is only a year behind in school. He is insanely quick to pick up math and science but a little slow to understand the concepts behind english and reading comprehension (something that is a problem with my brother and I also - that's what you get when a Chem major/nurse breeds with a Stats major!).

Try to keep the child in the same school system throughout his or her life and make sure it's one that doesn't segregate the special ed kids. Little Bro has a few special ed classes, but choir, gym and a few other classes he takes with "normal" kids. These kids been in classes with him since they were all 5 years old and don't really see him as "different" anymore. He's just one of the guys. They go out of their way to say hi to him when they spot him at concerts, bowling, football games, etc.

Ok, this got super long, but obviously, I'm very passionate about this subject. Good luck to your friend. I hope she can find the support she needs. *hugs*

[McGoddess09]

Is it Down's Syndrome, or cerebral palsy? Down's is a chromosomal disorder, while cerebral palsy is usually caused by lack of oxygen to the brain.

It's Down's for sure. I was just told that it also had to do with the lack of oxygen or maybe that just explained her walking.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

When I was pregnant, my age was an issue. I was considered high risk because I was over 40, although I had no real risk factors other than that. I didn't bother to get an amnio test because I had already decided that Downs was not a reason to abort a child. Downs can be any level of severity and I'd rather have a seriously handicapped child than live the rest of my life wondering if my child would have been only mildly handicapped. (I did have another test that checked for far more severe genetic problems, just not the one for Downs. )

Turned out, she was fine. However, I can certainly understand how devastating the news would be to find that out. Nobody wants anything to be wrong with their child. My hsusband was so terrified he couldn't even enjoy the 9 months I was pregnant. But it's like I told him, it's not like a child with Downs will never learn to function or be self sufficient. Of course it's possible with very severe cases, but not all cases are that severe.

[sportsmom]

Really though, many Down's children live pretty normal lives. And you will never meet sweeter or more kinder people than Down's children, at least in my experience.

I have to agree with this one. My youngest dd had her dance recital last night and there was a little girl with Down's in another group. She was participating along with the other girls and did a great job.

I also have to say that my oldest went to school with a little boy who had Down's, T. T's in the high school now, but you should see the way all the kids treat him. I remember a few years ago when they had field day at school T wanted to go on one of the bouncy things that had a slide at the end, but he was too scared to go by himself. Two of the girls in his grade saw him and offered to go with him. There were only supposed to be two on at a time, but under the circumstances they made an exception. Those two girls jumped with T, then climbed up the ladder side slowly so they didn't leave him behind, but the cutest thing was when they sat on either side of him and they all held hands to go down the slide. Every kid in that school loved T, too. They would pass him in the hall and give him high fives and yell "hi T" across the cafeteria. I swear I think he was the most popular kid in the school.

[Kiwi]

Thank you to everyone for your help and advice. I jsut got back from coffee with my friend and she had some news. Her tests came back and the was no extra chromosome (which should mean the child is not downs) but the 11th chrome is twisted. Apparently the chromosome can break off and reattach but they think as the baby is so far along it has a fairly good chance. It also means they have to watch for this with every pregnancy in the future.

They were both tested and it turns out the father of baby has a twisted chrome to and he's a normal guy although VERY tall 6 foot 10. All this means is the baby COULD be perfectly normal or it could not live... its something the can't tell until the baby is born because they can't tell what that chromosome controls.

My friend it VERY relieved and has been able to finally gain some weight (she even has a little belly now) she even painted the babies room this past weekend. She is being checked over twice a week now as they still think the baby will be born prem due to the other complications. She's week 25 so every day she can keep him in his survival rate gets better and better. They are aiming to make it to 30 weeks so fingers crossed!

I am so happy for her, I did a little victory dance when she told me!!!!!!

[RootedPhoenix]

Yay! Sounds like good news. Hope she makes it as far along as possible.

[Shpepper]

That's really great news. Thanks for letting us know and even more thanks for being a great friend.

[bookworm]

That's wonderful. I hope that everything goes well for her.

[Caveat Emptor]

I once worked as a teachers aide for a few months and worked with a Downs student. He was 18, very nice and could manage as well as an 8 year-old.

[Kiwi]

Update*

My friend is actually in labour as we speak. The baby made it to full term on its own which is a REALLY good sign!

Any warm fuzzies sent in the way of my friend would be mucho appreciated!