Well crap, more family drama!!

[tropicsgoddess]

Lupo, some phones these days have a feature where you can put somebody on a reject list and it'll block that person from calling your cellphone. The caller will get some sort of recording saying that the subscriber cannot be reached and also the other person's phone won't ring, let alone vibrate. Your sister should check to see if her phone has that feature. Some might have it to where only those on your contact list can call you, it depends on the make/model of the phone, but I would suggest your sister still check for it on her phone.

[lupo pazzesco]

My sister has the most basic of cell phones. She doesn't want anything fancy or too modern, in her words. just a phone she can make calls on. As a result, she can really only make calls and send and receive text messages. No special lists, ringtones, camera, etc. And the cell phone company can't block numbers or calls. She checked already.

[SG15Z]

You gotta love the police sometimes.

Sorry you're getting pulled into all this. And good for you for sticking up and helping your sister when she is in need. She may be the she-beast, but your still family.

[BethB]

As I tell people..."No one messes with my family but me!"

[Akasa]

An attorney could possibly get the police to do their job, or at the least a cease and desist letter. It makes no sense the FL police having to request the case btw. Sounds like they just don't give a rats ass.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I'm sitting here wondering why this twatwaffle is harassing my sister when it's her apparent husband who's diddling on the side!?

I never did understand that. When a guy cheats, why it's always the other woman's fault? If she knows he's married/in a relationship, then they are both equally at fault; him for cheating, her for getting involved with a married man. If she doesn't know, then how is it her fault at all? I'm female, and I still don't get it.

[goldaries13]

I never did understand that. When a guy cheats, why it's always the other woman's fault?

It's that wonderful thing known as a 'double standard.' My understanding of it, anyway. I've never been in that situation, so I can't claim to speak for anyone or anything.

[lupo pazzesco]

And still more updateyness!

Ok, so yet another update!

I was on the phone with my mom a short while ago. Apparently skeezebag finally texted my sister. Did he try to explain? Did he try to apologize? No. The text message read "I think we should break up."

She texts him back and asks why.



He tries to say what's the point if she can't trust him, etc, etc. And she shoots back that she wants to see him face to face, and hear straight from him what's going on. So, skeezebag demands she meets him at the mall ASAP (mind you, my sister doesn't have a car, so she had to hop a bus.)

Apparently he claims he's not ready for a commitment, and neither is she. (Mind you, mere weeks ago, they were talking marriage plans, possible engagement by fall) She looked him in the eye and asked if he was now, or had ever been married, and he said no.

She, according to my mom, believed him, but is now all torn up because they've broken up.

Oh, and he also told her that he'd let her know when/if he started seeing someone else.

I don't know. The whole situation reads like a bad Maury Povich episode. (I'd say Jerry, but no one is related, as far as I know.) And I'm a little peeved that I spent so long trying to help her, and to hear that she still believes him, despite everything, makes me wonder what was the point? All those calls I made, the police departments I spoke with, will she even do what was suggested, or not? I'm leaning towards not. Which pisses me off even more because I was up until after midnight trying to help calm her, get info for her, get things organized in a coherent matter for her and the police. I had to be up the next morning at 5!!

I know it's stupid to feel upset, but I do. I feel upset and used. Like she played me, and I really should've known better. But, that's what I get, I suppose. Either way, I did my part. It really is up to her to do hers and change things for herself.

And maybe stop meeting boyfriends on the internet would be a good start.

Ugh.

Ugh. This may hopefully be the end of the saga, so keep your fingers crossed for me. I have another early ass morning

[SG15Z]

And maybe stop meeting boyfriends on the internet would be a good start.

Every time someone I know gets in a relationship over the internet, they always get engaged, two actually got married, and all of them ended.....badly. Currently all of said people are single and their hearts have been ripped in 2. I'm sure somewhere out there someone had a successful marriage with someone they met inline, but it's not the norm. At least not from my experience.

[tropicsgoddess]

As mean as it sounds, at least that relationshit is done and overwith (no typo here) . Just sucks that you went through all that for her, but you did what any good family member would do to try and protect their own, Lupo. Hopefully she'll learn her lesson and to not get with guys she meets online and not to hang onto every word they tell her. Half the time you get guys who are nothing but lying ass sacks of shit, but then again there's the good ones, but either way she would still need to be observant and pay attention to what's going on in the relationship(s) she has with men.

[Eireann]

Lupo, what your sister has been doing to you is similar to what her "boyfriend" was doing to her. She knew you were there for her, she knew you'd help her out, she knew that you were willing to do a lot for her. You have every right to feel used, because she's been using you, and everyone else.

She drew this guy into her life because they have things in common - not good things, however. She also thinks that he is what she deserves.

The terrible truth is, you can't change any of this. You can't turn her into the nice sister who has healthy relationships. It's up to her to do it. She has a lot of problems that will require therapy to work through, if she has what it takes to do it - don't hold your breath, though.

It finally dawned on me some time ago that the people who are related to me are no better than those who aren't related to me. If I wouldn't stick my neck out for a friend, acquaintance or total stranger who had exactly the same character as a relative, then why should I do it for a relative? They don't get any extra consideration from me simply because we share a gene pool, and I don't expect it from them. It's not easy, but it's worth it. I don't beat myself up because Relative X is in a bad way, and that I should do something because Relative X is family. You make your own family, and they don't have to be blood kin. The healthier the people around you are, the healthier you will be, and you won't be sucked into someone else's drama because you feel an obligation.

[Andara Bledin]

You now, since you have the guy's alleged wife's number (since she's been calling and texting so much), you could get a PI to find the place and get pictures of the guy with said alleged wife to show to your self-deluded sister. Although, if she's as impulsive as you've made her sound, you might want to blur the woman's face and keep any address details to yourself.

Also, as regards the harassment angle, has she tried having her cell phone provider block the number? I'm fairly certain it can be done on that level, although it might cost something.

^-.-^

[lupo pazzesco]

You have every right to feel used, because she's been using you, and everyone else.

It's nice to know that I'm not going over the top, or that my already tumultuous emotional standing is otherwise flavoring this. Thanks for that.

As to the rest of it...I know, I KNOW that she shouldn't get special consideration cuz she's family. Really, I do, but it's such a hard habit to break, taking care and being there for family, even when they don't deserve it. My mom told me the same thing, essentially, that as long as she still believes in the skeezebag, there's nothing we can do.

You now, since you have the guy's alleged wife's number you could get a PI to find the place and get pictures of the guy with said alleged wife to show to your self-deluded sister.

Also, as regards the harassment angle, has she tried having her cell phone provider block the number? I'm fairly certain it can be done on that level, although it might cost something.

^-.-^

1. Great idea, but it costs money, which I don't have, and I'm not going to expend that much effort on behalf of someone who will no doubt attempt to spin it as something it's not, to make herself feel better.

2. Tried that route. Cell phones can block numbers, at least not with our provider. They did, however, change her number for free, but psycho bitch managed to obtain said new number and start all over again. (Gee, wonder where she got it from. Hmmm...)

[Peppergirl]

to you, Lupo.

And you're a good sister, hopefully some day she'll deserve it.

I've never, EVER understood these women who blame the other woman in the cheating and not their man. It just baffles me.

Hang in there!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Every time someone I know gets in a relationship over the internet, they always get engaged, two actually got married, and all of them ended.....badly. Currently all of said people are single and their hearts have been ripped in 2. I'm sure somewhere out there someone had a successful marriage with someone they met inline, but it's not the norm. At least not from my experience.

One of my college roommates met her husband online (this was back in 1996/97; I don't remember the exact story but it wasn't a dating site or anything like that). They've been married for 9 years and have two little girls (one of whom they adopted from China last year). So there you go.