More deaths by bullies.

[LingualMonkey]

This is just a guess, but it wouldn't surprise me if a lot of the people who post here were bully victims in school.

For whatever reason, it's never been "cool" to be smart in this world, and since this board tends to be more literate and brighter than a lot of message boards out there, I'd guess as a general rule that many of us were the good students, or at least the more dedicated ones. That, in many ways, makes us targets of people with meat and sawdust between their ears.

Just a theory.

But, as someone who lived through a few shitty years in school and as the father of kids in school, add my voice to the chorus: this crap needs to stop.

[RootedPhoenix]

It does. Arg.

I went through so much crap growing up. I moved around quite a bit when I was growing up, so I encountered several different kinds of bullies. Each kind found something to pick on me about. Something. Anything.

Jerks.

Mercifully, most teachers were helpful. (I normally hung out with the teachers for this reason.) One teaching team in high school was frustratingly on the bully's side. I guess he'd charmed them or something. Dude's insulting me and making my day crap, maybe you want to do something, hm?!

Reminds me of SCs and spineless management, now that I think about it.

What an awful situation. I wish people would just be nice to others.

[AdminAssistant]

Add me on to the bullied crowd. In elementary school, it was physical. Hair pulled, swung around on the playground, chased, hit, you name it. In Junior High it was threats, all from one particularly masculine girl who thought I was a dork or something. By High School, it had changed to teasing. Merciless teasing, mostly about some stuff that was going on with my folks and had nothing to do with me.

I actually can't wait for my 10 year reunion, because I'm sure it will pick up again. I'll be made fun of for being single, childless, for more crap that's gone on with my parents. I'm sure they'll accuse me of being a lesbian (I'm not). Then, I can turn and smile and say, "Wow, you have so little going on with your life that you can still mock me? I'm glad I've moved away, gotten an education, and am actually happy with my life. Tell me, what exactly have you accomplished over the last ten years?" Because, with a few exceptions, it's nothing. The guys are either farmers, mechanics, or into drugs/alcohol. Most of the girls don't have jobs, or teach at that very same school. A lot of them married each other and never even moved away, not even for a little bit. What kind of life is that?

[draggar]

I actually can't wait for my 10 year reunion, because I'm sure it will pick up again.

I didn't go to my 10 year because the assholes were still assholes at the 5 year and whoever I wanted to keep in touch with I had kept in touch with.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I'm sure they'll accuse me of being a lesbian (I'm not).

I got accused of being a slag at school cuz I hung around with the boys at our brother school (I went to an all girls school). I was friends with the boys firstly cuz I grew up with three brothers and therefore got on better with boys than girls, and second cuz the girls were nearly all bitches. However, cuz I talked to the boys and had big boobs, I automatically got labeled a slag. Even tho I was a virgin. Idiots.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Actually, Admin, I would be extremely suprised if you were bullied at a 10 year reunion or given any sort of hard time.

No, what will probably happen is that the people who did do the bullying with act like you guys were bosum buddies and not have the faintest clue why you might not be overjoyed to see them.

I'm not sure what is up with that mindset, but it IS the sure way to place your bet.

[Kheldarson]

I was bullied as well. I was always the new kid who disrupted the natural order by being too smart. Add poor social skills to that...yeah. Most schools didn't do anything. I got into one fight in middle school...got beat up pretty badly. Had to tutor the girl I'd fought with for a while as punishment.

The best one though was when a group of girls decided to mess with me in gym. Ended up getting a rolling locker set rolled over my foot. The eighth grade principal told us (the other girls and our parents) that she didn't want to deal with us and if anything else happened, she'd expel all of us and let our parents deal with it in court. I'm surprised my mom didn't end up going to court for murder after that...

[Andara Bledin]

While most of the blame is on the parents of the bullies, the bullies themselves and the teachers and administration to let it go on, a decent amount of blame rests on the parents of the kids being bullied.

Seriously.

A former co-worker had her kids getting teased and the boy beaten up fairly regularly. She complained to the school and the bastards made some "boys will be boys" comment. She was having none of it.

She took everyone, from teachers up to the school district, to court for failing to protect the health and wellbeing of her kids. She won, and now the school district has to pay for a hired car to take her kids to and from school every day (since the bus was a particular problem area) as well as follow some other rules as set by the court. Oh, and the hired car is in place until they both graduate from high school.

I wish more parents were willing to take the time and effort to ensure that the people supposed to watch over their kids were doing their jobs.

I got bullied in school, too.

I was a reader. You couldn't find me without a book in my pocket or backpack.

However, they gave up on verbal taunts within days since I never responded, and if I did, it was only to smirk and shake my head. With no response to teasing, they got bored.

The only time it got physical is when I wasn't looking, they weren't in arms reach, and there was no way I could identify the attacker.

It turns out that the bully bitches at school never picked a fight with me because they were all afraid I'd kick their asses. I will remain baffled by this as I am not a fighter at all.

^-.-^

[PepperElf]

10th year anniversary wasn't so bad.

granted i wasn't bullied much in school that i remember.... just the usual how i wasn't cool and others were etc. one of my classmates had been though for being a "geek"; last i knew he was a network admin so hey geekiness pays off (he did skip the reunion tho).

what i did notice tho was that the people who'd always talked up how "cool" they were compared to everyone else... weren't doing much with their lives. one girl's entire family just vanished (i think out of shame from her brother... and the underage girl he was caught with). A couple of them never moved out, their lives were "job, bar, home" and had been for a long time.

ironically though, being /gay/ was not on the list of what they taunted over. it probably had been back in the late 80s, early 90s, but... one of the girls who'd left before her senior year came in to reunion to say hi, with her girlfriend - and both were greeted warmly.

[blas]

Count me in on being bullied as well.

The worst part of it all was that the teachers knew about it and didn't care.

At my second high school, passing time between classes was so short that most teachers would stand outside the doors of their classrooms, waiting for all the kids to get in, and they'd HEAR people shouting "Whore!" "Slut!" "Skankwhore Barbie!" and whatnot at me, and not ONE of them did a damn thing.

The times that I did stand up for myself against a jock or person of importance (aka, rich kids, popular kids) I got in trouble.

The time that this waste of space idiot jock kicked the back of my desk for the 1,000,000th time and I turned around and flipped his desk over (with him in it!), I got in school suspension for a few days. But did he ever fuck with me again? Nope. Did I get in trouble with my parents? No.

[Lace Neil Singer]

My parents were actually livid over my first suspension, cuz the girl who'd started the fight; ie, scratched my face with her long, claw like nails and actually drawing blood, didn't get punished. At all. My dad came up to the school and had a go at the headmaster, who tried to excuse his actions by saying "Well, Bitchface was hurt more than Lace was". So fucking what? The only reason she got hurt was cuz she fucking CLAWED MY FACE! Everyone has their breaking point, after all; there's only so much you can take before you snap and start fighting back.

My week's suspension was like a week's holiday from school; my parents didn't punish me at all. XD After that, if any girl ever started on me, I'd hit them. I'd basically learned that since the teachers weren't going to do anything about the bullies, the only thing I could do was hit them back twice as hard. It's stupid to punish kids for standing up for themselves, and not punish the bullies at all; my parents weren't upset about my punishment; more the bullies' lack of one.

[McGoddess09]

^^^ That.

The school authorities tell kids not to fight back, but do nothing themselves.

Except at my school. Even the older teachers break them apart if there is a physical fight. The older Spanish teacher, who had taught both my mom and my dad, picked one of the girls up and took her away in one of the fights that happened this year.

My school is a bad example, as we only have 300 kids in the entire school and less is tolerated.

[Shroo]

Last year one of my students was being bullied. I would watch her come into my classroom, sit at her desk with tears in her eyes, and struggle through the lesson.
Every so often I would have my students do some group work so I could pull her aside and talk.
Her home life sucked.
People left nasty messages on her myspace and facebook page.
People called her names.
Boys were trying to pressure her to do things.
I gave up numerous free periods so she could come and cry, vent, sit and stare off in space in a safe environment, anything she needed.

I never took any names from her because I couldn't. We have a adjustment center for these kinds of situations, and for the most part we are encouraged to only bring the students up.
Sadly, it turns out a lot of her "problems" were embelished. She made herself out to be the victim when every once in a while she was the one to cause the issue.
I still think she was a sweet kid, but it made me a little cynical. I reached out to someone, only to be lied to.
I had another student that year who was teased in class--however whenever I jumped to his rescue I was met with scorn from him, or I noticed he goaded the other students on. It's almost like he liked being bullied. Honestly, I could never wrap my head around that kid.

Parents will say the teachers are at fault, teachers will say our hands are tied by the administration, the administration will turn around and point fingers at the parents. Bullying is a sad cycle that is doomed to be repeated until people get their heads out of their asses. If I had my way every single high school student would watch The Breakfast Club and be told to get the fuck over themselves.

I know there are assholes teachers out there who don't care. But there are ones like me who try to do whatever we can.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I know this is going to sound really bad, but I make no apologies for saying it: Kicking the living shit out of your bully can be the best feeling of your life.

There was one guy who gave me trouble ever since we started going to school together in fifth grade. Name calling, pushing and shoving, turning my few friends against me, and all that for about 6 years.

Then one day in gym class, we were playing basketball, and we were on different teams struggling for a loose ball, and for whatever reason I launched a haymaker at his eye and kept right on punching.

He got two black eyes. I got in-school suspension. He never gave me trouble again after that.

And then the other guy who did the same things to me with all his other friends. Pushing, shoving, throwing things at me, and so forth. One day after school (it happened to be the day we got our report cards) he came up to me on the sidewalk, asked me how many A's I got, started punching me, and dared me to hit him back.

So I did. But just then my mom came driving up, dashed out of the car, and hauled me in before I could keep going. Of all the days to be picked up from school.

He walked by my house while I was playing basketball one time and started saying stuff. As he turned and walked away, I picked up a rock and was ready to wing it at his head.

Another time I saw him approaching as I was waiting to cross a busy street on the way home from the store. I thought "If he starts anything I'm pushing him in front of a car. I don't care." But fortunately the light changed before he could confront me.

I finally gave him his senior year in high school. He decided to taunt me as I was heading for my car at the end of the day. So I punched him in the face, broke his nose, and stomped him. For that I got a fine and out-of-school suspension. But again, he never did anything to me after that.

I know this makes me sound too quick to anger. I'm not that way at all. You spend your entire childhood being taunted because of your Coke-bottle glasses, your puny stature and your social ineptitude, you watch the girls run around on the playground and give each other "Irv germs" by touching them, and see what happens when somebody pushes you past your limit.

Oh--and yes, I was always told to ignore the bullies. Fat fucking lot of good that did. And people wonder why things like Columbine happen.

[Bella_Vixen]

Milwaukee Public Schools had this policy (for all I know, they still do) that THEY are responsible for each and every student from the time the kid leaves in the morning til they get home at night.

Yeah fucking right.

One time some bullies grabbed my glasses off my face and threw them out the window of the bus. Mom called the principal and was told that since it happened on the school bus, and not on school grounds, there was nothing they could do.

And on and on and on and...you get the point.



When we moved to the sticks, there was only one real episode of physical violence. Becks beat up some punk ass punk. Kid made sure he never rode on the same bus as us after that.

For the most part, most people, up to and including the PRINCIPAL thought that since we moved from Milwaukee, Becks and I were gang members. Got a *lot* of verbal harrassment, but that was mostly tolerable.